One thing/item that you couldn't do without?

[havingababy2012]

As my name suggests I will be a first time mother this year(November). I am reading as much as I can online and in books to prepare me.

I am also starting to look at buying items at this stage which is a little overwhelming as there are so much things needed, especially for a first time parent.

I am looking for recommendations of one item that you would recommend to buy, something that has been most useful etc e.g.
a friend recommended a slumber bear for getting her newborn to sleep

www.amazon.co.uk/Prince-Lionheart-Slumber-Bear-Cream/dp/B000L3ISWI/ref=sr_1_1?s=baby&ie=UTF8&qid=1340889403&sr=1-1

I think it's different for everyone...I would say moses basket, as DS would not settle in his cot when he was tiny (which was the original plan), but then you will get 50 other people saying 'moses basket, what a waste of money!'

Some of the real essentials for me in the early days:

Car seat with Isofix base
Pram/travel system thingy
Lots of babygros/sleep suits

Things I did not have and wish I had:

Changing unit (I assumed I would be ok doing it on the floor/bed, but I found it really tricky/uncomfortable/messy)
One of those glider chairs for lovely comfy BF (no space or money sadly!)
A live-in BF consultant.

I remember asking this!

Essentials:

• Car seat/pram/pushchair combination, which we still use
• Easy-to-change baby clothes
• A baby gym: I was given one and thought "what on earth is this giant thing for my teeny tiny baby?". Six weeks later I thought "..the thing that lets me answer the door"
• washable breast pads (grim)
• changing mat
• nappy bin
• cake
• (for slightly later on) a bouncing chair

What I wish I'd had:

• A nice changing bag. When you feel scruffy, want your old pre-pregnancy figure back and are reduced to shuffling about in trackie bottoms and flip-flops, it feels like a kick in the teeth to be carrying the DC's stuff in a carrier bag as well. As soon as I got a decent bag I felt like a person again.
• Nice b/f t-shirts: I was very late to this (see above)
• A good front carrier, or a sling that didn't require a degree in engineering to put it on.

Never missed a top and tail bowl, or anything that lit up or 'stimulated' the small one.

I agree with IWillOnlyEatBeans in that lots of people will have different opinions on this but for me one of the best things we had was a Tommee Tippee baby bath. It has a built in support and it meant my DS couldn't slip or slide whilst in it but we didn't have to hold him.

Other things which were good were the sleep apps you can get for your phone with white noise and other things on, muslins, a base for the car seat and babygrows with built in scratch mits.

Oh, and no preconceived ideas and Mumsnet are helpful too :o

So many different opinions on this. I would say a good wrap sling, an ellaroo for example, and a change mat for the early explosive poos.

I didn't use a baby bath, change station, etc., we didn't have the money to spend and the bed/floor were fine for changing and arms for bathing. In hindsight, you need very little! Also, second DD wouldn't tolerate the Moses basket either for the first eight weeks, so she slept with me. She was v low maintenance on the equipment front.

Large muslin cloth to swaddle in
Small muslin cloths to wipe spills and milk
Activity Playmat with arches over to put baby somewhere during the day
Dummy as I had a manically suckly baby who was always sucking her hands, my hands etc

As many muslins as you can get (Tesco) - at least 10
White bodysuits and sleepsuits (so much easier for washing when everything's white)
Top and tail bowl
Mamas and Papas moulded baby bath (in built support for hands-free bathing)
Bouncing/rocking/vibrating baby chair (helped get him off for daytime naps)
Nail clippers (nails grow so quickly!)

Things I found no need for:
Nappy bin (still smelt and a dustbin outside the back door was much better)
Dummies (DS kept spitting them out)
Moses basket (used the carry cot from our travel system)

I loved my bednest co-sleeper crib. It was expensive even 2nd hand off eBay but I used it until dd was 8 months. Much more use than the Moses basket had first time around that I used for about 8 weeks.

Didn't bother with any baby bath or change station, just used a mat on the floor and a washing up bowl for bathing when she was tiny.

Definitely a sling like ellaroo, moby or if you want something structured, we use our ergo all the time. I also bought a little bath ramp at mothercare for around £7 that made bathing so much easier and safer.

a proper swaddling blanket; a bath safety swivel seat for slightly older; a bouncy chair :)

A baby carrier. Mothercare's was and still is brilliant. Also a soft baby carry-cot to transfer a sleeping baby from the living room to the bedroom and in and out of the pram.

Congratulations! I remember that stage well and the excitement of leafing through all the baby catalogues... but... there is very little you need for a newborn and as long as you have the basics covered you can buy the other stuff later when you have more idea about what your baby likes/needs. (And in the long days with a small baby it can be good to have an excuse for a shopping mission!).

If you are planning on breastfeeding I would buy a really good manual like LLL's 'the womanly art of breastfeeding' to be able to look up any problems in the first few days. That's one thing that would have really helped me.

As many muslin cloths as you can find to clean up sick/ clean up milk / comfort blanket / use as sheet cover for cot or Moses basket and 101 other things. I also loved the bouncy chair. The fisher price one was good as it was good for newborn to sleep in during the day and vibrates. Congrats by the way

• Pram/travel system with carrycot and seat that can switch from rear to front-facing (but didn't use for first 4 weeks as baby little so sling better)
• pram hooks for carrying shopping
• Soft sling/wrap for newborn (moby was great, but ergo is less of a faff)
• lots of babygros
• Dream genii pillow (as we co-slept, and it made a great cocoon round ds)
• Jellycat musical duck (beautiful tune - still used to help lull ds to sleep 16 ms later)
• Bouncer with toy bar
• Fisher Price Rainforest baby gym
• Lamaze Freddie the Firefly as pram toy
• Penelope Leach/other good guide to parenting
• Anti-roll changing mat (with upcurving edges - £15 from John Lewis)
• lovely music to relax baby when crying by waltzing to; I recommend Camera Obscura's "Underachievers please try harder" and "Biggest bluest hi-fi".

Overrated:

• baby bath and top and tail bowl (use plastic washing-up bowl)
• changing station (use furniture you already have instead)
• baby monitor (in my case as I ended up with ds all the time anyway)
• dummy (my ds wouldn't take one, which is great now)
• muslins (3 is probably enough)
• designer changing bags (Boots parenting club give you one free and I'm still using it)
• nappy bin
• glider chair (arms in wrong place for bfing after baby grew a bit)
• moses basket, as so much better to just take the side off baby's cot and attach it to your side of the bed (or get co-sleeper cot if feeling flush)
• iphone apps (your baby will not miss out on participation in the 21st century if they don't get to use a touchscreen, like, now...).

I couldn't live without our "Jane transporter" travel system - its a lie flat car seat which has been a god send. It's great going on journeys knowing that your lo is going to be comfortable! Also you don't need a Moses basket if you get one of these as babies can sleep in it at night as it comes with a proper mattress. You don't need a changing station, just something waist height will do to put a change mat on.
Get plenty of nice treats in i.e chocolate to keep you going when you don't know what planet you're on in the first week or so!!

Couldn't live without:
Pump (for expressing so husband could do last feed of the day and I could go to sleep early). Also meant milk supply always high and no pain
Baby Bjorn sling
Good quality breaspads - lansinoh, never leaked!
Good maternity bras that you can wear both in late pregnancy and throughout breastfeeding - bravado are amazing and you don't need to worry about size, as they are just small, medium, large.

Wish I had:
Breastfeeding chair. So so comfy, but was too stingy!

Never missed:
Moses basket - baby went straight into a cot
Changing table - we had a desk in that room, so DD got changed on that. Although if there wasn't a desk in her room, I'd have probably wanted one!

I found a Gro Egg really useful for peace of mind. It works as a night light as well as a thermometer and in your bleary haze in the middle of the night you just need to glance at it to check its colour.

Also, don't think you won't get the opportunity to shop once baby's here. In fact you'll welcome it as you'll be needing all those trips in the car and the buggy to get the little mite off to sleep.

Good luck! x

If you're going to get a monitor consider a video monitor. They're not much more expensive and they're very reassuring when baby goes into their own room. I love mine!
Congratulations on the bump.

another vote for go with the minimum and add to it after as you see what suits you..

Useful.. following on from above but also I know these are slightly 'controversial' as in their use!

• the gro egg.. dd was born in bitterly cold Dec and we have no central heating so helped remove some of my worries about temperature control. however, of course a cheaper nursery thermometer is available.

• beautiful changing bag, I'd say as someone above says I didn't get one for ages and when I did I suddenly felt exactly like festival widow describes.

• another no to a changing station.. though I think if you did want this Ikea does some really good simple things in their nursery range.

My useless list were things I 'panic' purchased in hormonal moments of this will solve everything.. including a ridiculously expensive breast bump (I never got to grips with expressing) Would certainly not recommend buying it pre-birth for sure. Also, brought a bumbo - dd hated it and her chubby legs just got stuck! again, another reason to wait and see.

My wish list would have been a decent pushchair / pram - we used a 2nd hand quinny pram from a friend and whilst pram was good - big and spacious for baby, it was old, bulky and clanky and we soon changed to an easy to use maclaren.. I 'secretly' still longed for the bugaboo - though hubby hated it so would never have got it 'past' him anyway.. but yes, do concentrate and research funds into that over everything I'd say.

Good Luck

Things we used most,
-bouncing chair
-free boots changing bag (colour is great as df always carries it when we are out, doubt he would if it was a fancy looking one
-rainforest play gym dd loved the lights
-sling/baby carrier again df loved this too

• sit me up cosy (mothercare) used this from dd being about a week old

-baby grows that have scratch mits included (you fold the ends over mothercare and next other places do do them too) -tights, dd socks used to come off in seconds and as she was a winter baby needed feet covered tights under leggins or trousers solved this problem. -unlimited number of bibs sicky baby -breastfeeding vest tops I have several still wear them now dd is 17 months under a normal top covers my tummy while feeding great for layering as well

We didnt have a changing table used the floor

Laundry bleach.
Tummy tub.
One million muslins.
If you have a 3 door car then a car seat base will save you lots of stress and bruises I promise you.

Oh and the one thing.... Sleeping bags, dd didnt really sleep without being held til we started using one.

I. Couldnt do without. Tommee tippe bath with moulded seat..awesome
Aired breathable bumper,, stopped baby from getting arms trapped in cot but no suffocation issues..heaven
Video monitor, so reassuring
Lots of baby sleeping bags, stops him waking up because he kicks the covers off

Video monitor
Sleeping bag
Changing table

You dont really need outfits un gone 6 months. Babygro with feet ( saves buying and loosing socks) and a cardigan on top when cold are fine

So just vests/ babygros and couple of cardigans

yy to the car seat base/isofix...saves so much faff

muslins (lots)

lansinoh (vital if breastfeeding but can be used on loads of things dry skin etc so not wasted if you don't bf)

If you can afford it get a live-in nanny

Couldn't live without:
-my pram/pushchair/travel system (walk everywhere, also use carrycot on trips away)
-lots of muslins (sicky baby)
-variety of blankets for sleeping (cold house, DD was too small to go straight in sleeping bag)
-lansinoh (if BF)
-decent camera!

Didn't need:
-nursing pillow (any cushion/pillow will work, and would be easier as could adjust height)
-many clothes (people buy you loads, DD needed small baby and is only just out of newborn at 11 weeks!)

would have waited to buy sling - bought a buckle-up one when pregnant as cheap and appeared easy to use - but now have been leant a fabric one (which seemed over-priced and complicated when pregnant) but so much easier and comfier so wish I'd gone for that instead!
would also wait re breast-pump and bottles etc - have found BF easy and don't need to bother with expressing - so putting off purchase of steriliser and pump until weaning...