Separation Anxiety?

Katymac · 2006-02-27T21:04:58+00:00

Is it true that separation Anxiety hits at around 9-10 mths. And does it end and if so at what age does it? TIA

spod · 27/02/2006 21:12

sounds about right age... with my dd it comes and goes... shes 2.5 and we've just had another few months of it... pander to it...don't force them to outgrow it

Original poster

Katymac · 27/02/2006 21:24

Well it's a bit of a problem for me atm - I'm childminding a 10 m baby. And he crys - if it's going to end I'll put up with him in the short term - but if it's going to be 2.5yrs before it stops I'm giving up now

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Babyblue2 · 27/02/2006 22:23

9-11 months is a definite time for clingyness, there's also another bout of it at about 18 months (i think, if i remember rightly). DD1 is 2.11 and is going through it again, DD2 is 11 months, so its fun all round for me.

Original poster

Katymac · 28/02/2006 07:01

I've never had a child be clingy for so long - we are talking over 3 months now

I told the mum I couldn't do it anymore yesterday and she is meeting with me & my co-ordinator to see if there is a way round it

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Babyblue2 · 28/02/2006 07:19

Could it be that baby isn't getting enough attention from parents and perhaps baby's clinging to you because you're reacting and giving the attention it requires? Personally, I don't understand how anyone can look after someone else's baby during the first year or so, they're very hard months and although I don't have one, childminder's are to be congratulated

Original poster

Katymac · 28/02/2006 07:39

Thank you Babyblue - I think it's the other way round - when at home Mummy carries him round all the time - we can't do that

I've never failed before and all the children I've cared for have settled in

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kittyfish · 28/02/2006 09:48

Feeling very sad for the baby.

Original poster

Katymac · 28/02/2006 09:54

Mr=e too I've asked Mum to think about alternative carers - but she insists he stays here - I don't want to give them notice, but feel I am being forced to for his happiness

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kittyfish · 28/02/2006 10:01

If he is so upset by being left surely you should suggest that his mother puts him in care much less and/or employs a nanny/au pair to give him the 1:1 attention he so obviously needs.

Original poster

Katymac · 28/02/2006 10:09

We have I actually said yesterday that I didn't want him here anymore - she is asking to a meeting to discuss strategies....the ones we have been using for 3 months

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kittyfish · 28/02/2006 10:21

What does the mother do? Is she working full-time? It must be awful trying to comfort a little mite who only wants his mummy, poor you.

Original poster

Katymac · 28/02/2006 10:52

3 days a week

It's not fair on the other children I look after

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MoonLady · 20/03/2006 11:31

Katymac what happened with your liile one who didn't settle?
I'm in the same position & had worst day of my childminding last week. I thought seriously about stopping as I felt such a failure, none of us were happy, I had planned to cook with older mindees but it was impossible.Of course, above all, it was horrid for the little one.
I think it's best to start with a new child of either 6-7 months, who hasn't got separation anxiety, or about 2 yrs old as they have more understanding and can look forward to coming.
Any advice welcome!!

MoonLady · 20/03/2006 11:31

Katymac what happened with your liile one who didn't settle?
I'm in the same position & had worst day of my childminding last week. I thought seriously about stopping as I felt such a failure, none of us were happy, I had planned to cook with older mindees but it was impossible.Of course, above all, it was horrid for the little one.
I think it's best to start with a new child of either 6-7 months, who hasn't got separation anxiety, or about 2 yrs old as they have more understanding and can look forward to coming.
Any advice welcome!!

Georgiesmum · 20/03/2006 12:31

Hi I think my DD has this she will be 1 on sunday and just cries and cries if I go out of sight. it has only be going on for a week or two so hopefully its just a phase!