Sleep at 20 months - Any advice please? Long-sorry.

[Divinyl]

We're at one of those points when we can't think any more due to cumulative tiredness so would love some perspectives from people who've survived. DD's sleep routine is going to pot, essentially due to early waking.

I know this is nothing unusual, but there have been a few weeks at a time when we've thought we were finally out of the woods and she'd slept through to about 6.15 and been a much happier child during the day.

She has a good bedtime routine and participates enthusiastically in it, so that end of things is not problematic.

However, she is now waking any time between about 4 am and 5.45 and then thinks she is up for the day. There is a mattress on the floor by her cot where one of us goes if she wakes in the night (now much rarer), so I've been going in and using it and saying that she needs to wait until 6 before she can get up. She's ok if it's me, although she wants to get out of the cot and usually cuddle me on the mattress with a lot of wriggling, but if it is DH she won't behave for him at all and basically tries to come straight out to get me up, kicking the door if necessary. If she is in the cuddly mood then we are lucky but about half the time she can quickly go to major tantrum mode.

Secondly, she does seem starving by then and genuinely wants milk and breakfast, and a drink (understandable, and she does have a cup of water available). She usually has a decent dinner but could probably eat more if I gave it to her, I'm never sure about portions.

Then, of course, she is at the end of her tether by about 8-9.00, coinciding with DH going to work which again usually results in a humdinger of a tantrum. I usually tell her several times that she can have her tantrum but when she is ready to come to me for a cuddle, to let me know. I do cuddle her when she manages to calm down and then she becomes affectionate/clingy. Then she ends up asleep for her nap (really her remaining sleep from night time) by 9ish.

If she wakes up later on what WAS the normal pattern (eg 6.15-7), she has a good regular 2hr nap around 11, but the earlier nap messes up the daytime pattern as well, which probably unbalances how tired she is at bedtime.

She is still in a cot, a panel of which can be taken off to make a bed, & I am wondering whether it is time to do that. We are shortly to get blackout linings in case it is a light issue at this time of year (we have been improvising up to now). If she is left to cry and thrash around in the cot then she will sleep eventually, but she will stand and bang her head and throw herself around, to the extent that I am afraid she will chip a tooth or similar. She ended up with a real bruise across the bridge of her nose like this, as her face is on the level with the top wooden bar of the cot, so this makes me very worried. Advice?

not got much advice but my DD is the same age and is also waking early. We have a blackout blind but the room is still quite bright at 5.30ish in the morning. I think that might be a big factors, im hopingit will get better as it starts getting light later in the morning.

Last night i hung a blanket over the sideof her cot just to sheild her from the light a wee bit and she did sleep an hour longer, you could maybe try that?

We've had a similar thing with early rising, DS is also 20 months. I am a cow and have just ignored him! Sometimes that has worked well and he's gone back to sleep until about 6.30/7.

Other times I've caved, (if he's been shouting 'Mummy' for half and hour or so) gone in quietly with a drink of water, hugged him while he has some, said 'it's time for more sleep, night night' dumped him in the cot and walked out. I would say that works 3 out of 5 times.

Sometimes he continues to chat to himself/shout 'Mummy', but I leave him and he usually drifts off eventually. Then I wake him at 7 with a cheery 'good morning', wrench the curtains open and smile grimly to myself.

Thank you! I'll plough on...She's developed a good snotty cold these last 2 days so let's hope that's something to do with the particularly unreasonable hour.

What about giving her only a very short nap at 0900 - say 15 minutes- and then pushing the main nap to 1230-2.00? She might be overtired at bedtime with such a long stretch after that first nap. I've often read that an earlier bedtime = later morning waking.
I really feel for you; that is a nightmare situation and she certainly doesn't need to start the day at 0400.

My friend had a problem with her two year old deciding 4am was tine to get up.

She bought a clock where you set a time for the sun to come up. Her dd was told she had to wait for the sun to come up before shouting for mum and dad but she could play quietly if she woke before the sun clock came up. More often than not, dd would get bored of waiting for the sun and go back to sleep.

My 21mth dd has always been a terrible sleeper, so from when she started sleeping through we blacked out the whole room. I cut up blackout lining and bluetac-ed it to the window pane, then there's a blackout blind, and also blackout lining on her curtains.......bit excessive but she regularly sleeps 7pm to 7.30am so worth the hassle. I also do the same where possible at relatives/on holiday but its noticeable that she will wake up earlier if we are somewhere were its not so dark.

If she does wake she mumbles, murmers and sings to herself, then goes back to sleep. We never go in.

We had to take harsh measures at about 6 months as dh had a serious health scare and needed his sleep too. After a few nights and days of shush pat and (whispers) controlled crying, she learnt to self soothe and would settle back to sleep

Hope you find a solution soon