Birds & Bees talk, I think I've made a mess of it..

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My eldest children are 7 and 9 and were asking whether I would have another baby and that led on to asking how you get a baby. They haven't asked this for years and I had previously fudged the answer by saying ' mummy and daddy have a special cuddle.' or that sort of answer. I decided to be more forthright this time, 7 year old was fine, asked a couple more questions and then talked about something else. 9 year old has told me that he wishes he was deaf and hadn't heard what I told them. I now feel awful and like I have ruined his innocence! My parents never told me and I heard from playground talk and wanted to make sure my kids didn't hear the same way. Have I now traumatised them?!

No. I would be surprised if your 9 yo won't be learning about it in school either this year or next anyway.

My DS is now 14 - and from a very young age he questioned me on sex and babies. I always answered factually to the level that I thought he needed to know.

It is better to be open about all this stuff, and let your DC know that they can talk about anything with you - whenever they want. The 9 yo is possibly just embarrassed - whereas the younger one didn't know anything, therefore sees nothing to be embarrassed about.

Keep the talks going!

I can HUGELY recommend this book www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0099299119/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=hedgewitcher-21&linkCode=as2&camp=1634&creative=19450&creativeASIN=0099299119 - Mummy Laid an Egg, really younger-child-friendly.

DC 9 has just told me he's not going to have children when he's older and it's all disgusting etc I think I might get that book that's been recommended to lighten this all up!

Bump!

Give him a few more years, he won't think its disgusting

As for giving them information, its fact, he will have heard all sorts by now, be it in the playground, sex ed etc. Just coming from your parents, its a bit...ewwww!

I second what LindsC said! It is a great book with really funny pictures.

I remember literally running out of the bathroom when my mum told me about periods etc and showed me tampons and pads. I must have been about 10 I think. It's embarrassment. I remember thinking I never wanted it to happen to me. I'm sure your DS will have absorbed the information and be glad that he knew first rather than just finding out at school!

The difference between the 7 and 9 year old is probably that your 9 year old has LESS innocence. He has reached an age where he's aware of his body and embarassment, not wanting people to see or touch it etc etc. Being told that to make a baby involves a lot nakedness and touching is horrifying! Your 7 year old probably just thinks its all very odd.

I remember watching a birth video in year 7 (so 11 years old) and loads of the girls being determined they would have c sections so that nobody would see their vaginas! They were horrified at the idea of lying legs splayed in front of MALE doctors, as the lady was in the video. Our teacher didnt have the heart to tell them that lots of people will see your vagina anyway!

They reacted like this because at 11, people seeing your private parts is the most embarasing thing that could happen ever. Pushing a baby out of it didnt face them, it was the nudity that bothered them. I think your 9 year old is showing his age so probably a very good thing that you had the talk. Just calmly explain that as he gets older he will feel differently but he never has to do it if he doesnt want to!

BonkeyMollocks - DSS1 (13) was mortified just after my 30th birthday this year when I was 6 months pg with DD (6wks tomorrow). I think it was partly to do with realising that his dad was going to be 51 this year. Cue an evening of "God, you two are disgusting. All my friends know what you two have been up to. And you've been doing it above my head. EURGH!!!"

We just grinned and wound him up by replying "Yes, and we're very happy and having a lot of fun while we're at it".

Teenagers are so easy to embarrass