Can someone please reassure me that it's going to be OK???

[Momo36]

Please bear with me as I'm having a baby tomorrow so this could be just hormones talking... I have a 20 month DD and a little boy way on the way. For some reason I keep having some sad feelings that my DD will be loosing out when the baby comes as she is still a baby.... I know this may sound so silly but I can't shake this feeling that I am taking something away from her. Even when I think about going to the hospital tomorrow and not being able to put her to bed makes me really sad. I keep having those feeling because the gap between them will be quite small and I am finding it hard to imagine how I will cope with two of them under two... I should be happy and excited and for some reason I worry about DD all the time... It could be that I am an only child myself and just find it difficult to get my head around it. Can someone with a smaller gap please tell me that it will be OK and that I am not depriving DD of anything?... I KNOW this sounds stupid when I read it! :(:(

I felt just as you did, and was reduced to hormonal tears on the day before I had DS2 by c-section at the thought of what I was doing to DS1.

It's all fine. Yes, it will be a big change for her. Yes, she is still a baby and she will be affected by having a new sibling. But if you view it as another life experience for her, and just help her through it (extra mummy time when you can manage, lots of cuddles and making her feel as included as possible) then chances are that she'll be OK. In a few months she won't remember the baby not being there, and she'll have a little brother to share childhood experiences with, which is a nice thing really! My DS1 absolutely adores DS2 - he did kick off a bit when the new baby was born, but just in a standard toddler way, and I think learning to adapt to change can only be a useful life skill to have learned.

Best of luck tomorrow.

Normal!!!!

I felt like this for a long while afterwards too, especially as DD was colicky etc and didn't really give much back

It'll take time to rebalance your relationship with your eldest but you will get there in time, I promise.

I had my middle DS a year and 4 days after my DD and they are 'as thick as theives' and have been since day dot. They have a fantastic bond and are always to be found together.
There is no doubt it's hard work but DD loved 'helping' by passing wipes/nappies etc etc and it genuinely wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be (especially when I was hugely pregnant with a 5yr old and a 1yr old)

Honestly, panic not, you're going to be absolutely fine..just remember not to sweat the little stuff or over-analyse every sulk or tantrum :o

Your DD will still be your baby in lots of ways. She doesn't have to grow up just because you have another child.

If she had been a twin she would still have been a baby and you wouldn't have felt she had to be more grown up sooner so try not to let yourself feel guilty just because the new child is younger.

Just a little word of warning. Be prepared for her to suddenly look and feel more grown up when the new baby is here. The contrast shocked me at first.

Don't forget that she'll also get something from feeling older and being a big sister. That doesn't mean you can't still have all the snuggles and special times you have now. You may just have to plan them a bit more carefully that's all.

Good luck for tomorrow and congratulations in advance