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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Secret Eating

14 replies

Sammegirl · 27/06/2012 11:37

Hi, just wanted some opinions on how you would deal with this situation?

My 6 year old daughter is secretly eating chocolate, sweets/cakes. In particular she comes down early in the morning and helps herself putting the wrappers in the bin or hiding them in her room. Both her dad and I have spoken to her in the past explaining the food we give her is enough but she still does it?
This morning I sent her down to have breakfast which I lay out for her while getting her brother ready, took her to school and when I came home to tidy up found 3 different chocolate/biscuit wrappers in the bin.

I worry because she is overweight but at the end of the day is only a child and has a lot of growing to do yet. I do not want to make an issue of it but at the same time I am worried she is developing a problem.

Is this a phase some children go through?

I have now hidden any treats we have in the house.

OP posts:

GooseyLoosey · 27/06/2012 11:44

I would not have any chocolates or sweets in the house or anything else she might be tempted by. If she lacks the will power herself not to eat the things she knows are there, I would remove the source of temptation.

savoycabbage · 27/06/2012 11:45

So would I. And get a but fruit bowl.

TheEnthusiasticTroll · 27/06/2012 11:46

dont buy these foods is the simplest of answers.

However if you feel your household needs them in the house for treats etc, then you need to keep them out of her reach. i would not hide them as that is just going empasis to her it is ok to hide food.

I would also insist on the rule that the children cant help themselfs to food. But that if she is hungry and asks she can have a healthy snack. I also would not ever say no you cant have anything offer a very small healthy snack, like a rice cracker or small peice of fruit and if she does not want it, then she is not hungry and so does not get any thing else.

my dd often says what else is there and I say nothing, this is what is on offer and she may refuses it. which is fine as she was not hungry then.

Also ensure she is drinking plenty of water as some times when thirsty children and adults come to think of it can mistake this for hunger.

You need to be encouraging your dd to have a healthy relastionship with with food and explaing to a child that food is fuel is very usefull.

Sirzy · 27/06/2012 13:24

Don't have things in the house, or have a "treats box" with the weeks treats in for her but if she eats them all on day 1 she gets no more that week.

Original poster

Sammegirl · 27/06/2012 13:55

Thanks for the feedback. I think the answer is to have no treats in the house, which is a shame as she also has a brother who is at home all day, but I guess a trip to the corner shop to buy the odd treat is far better.

We do have a fruit bowl which is full of fruit and within easy reach of the children plus I always offer fruit after school or crackers/ rice cakes etc once she gets home.

Then she will have her dinner later with a youghurt for dessert.

Her grandparents look after her on a Friday while I am at work and even though I ask them not to give her any treats, they will still buy her a pick and mix, so this becomes a little awkward as they are not my parents.

We will just have to have another talk with her tonight explaining we give her enough food for her body and taking without asking is not acceptable.

OP posts:

laura4jasmine · 27/06/2012 17:22

My dd1 was sneaking dowstairs to steal food from the time she could dismantle the stairgate at about 2yo. I didn't keep treats in the house so she just ate whatever she could reach especially in the fridge. I frequently came down to find empty packets of deli meat or cheese. This secret eating has increased as she has got older (she's now 14yo) and she is overweight, although not hugely. I have to spend half my life checking what's in the kitchen and what she has taken so I can balance it out with her meals. It feels like such hard work and doesn't help that 2 GPs have told me to 'let her get as fat as she want's, one day she will decide she want's to loose weight and she will'!!!!!! So that leaves us in an eternal battle of wits.....sorry if that's not what you need to hear, but it is hard to crack.

AMumInScotland · 27/06/2012 17:39

With the grandparents, perhaps you could have a quiet word and explain that you're a bit worried about her weight, so could they keep the pick & mix to a certain amount? That way they can still get her a treat, but it shouldn't get out of hand. if that's the only sweets in the week, and isn't a huge bag, then it needn't be a problem.

shushpenfold · 27/06/2012 17:41

Sammegirl....I would not be stressing the weight side of it, I would be making sure that she knows it's wrong to just take things. My children have to ask for things (including food...except fruit) and they have permission or not to take them. It works for us.

TheEnthusiasticTroll · 27/06/2012 20:20

I think you should be worrying about the weight aswell to be honest, it is an issue if a 6 yeasr old is already over weight, her weight will just increase as she gets older. I know I was an over weight child I was an over weight teenager and Im now an over weight adult and that is because of the wrong eating habbits I was allowed to develop as a child.

I would also say with regards to the GPs that you place some responsibility on your dd to not eat all the pick and mix at once and if she wants treats through out the week or when she is at home she should save some of the pick and mix and bring some home. I would say however a weekly pick and mix is very exssive and the gps shopuld be told this, if they dont agree then what comes home would get put in the cupboard and find thier way in the bin.

My dd who is also 6 some times asks me for pick and mix and Im happy to do one of thoses fill a cup for 99p or buy a bag of haribos but that will be all the sweets i will be buying that week and so she cant eat eat them all at once. that will take an eliment of self regulation and she understands if she wants sweets any other time that week she has to save some. This maybe a good task to attemp with your dd.

henrysmama2012 · 27/06/2012 21:32

Don't have sweets or chocolate in the house!! Seriously I would have done anything at that age to get my hands on sweets or chocolate. And even now I am very sporty exercise loads, am a size 6 and eat super healthy BUT I am still crazy about sweets and choc like a 6yr old!! just get that stuff out of the house! If I had access to it when I was younger i'd have gotten pretty fat and also would have been secretly stealing it!

henrysmama2012 · 27/06/2012 21:33

Ps normally a size 6 but currently rocking a mummy tummy after having our little boy and man am I battling to avoid the chocolate!!

talkingnonsense · 27/06/2012 21:40

Is she hungry? Can you give her more healthy food- protein, whole grains, veg, to make sure she isn't waking up starving?

henrysmama2012 · 28/06/2012 07:10

I am not sure it's a hunger issue...

ClaudiaSchiffer · 28/06/2012 07:18

I completely agree with the advice to keep sweets etc out of the house. Great advice.

Also the GPs giving and overweight 6 yr old pick n mix would REALLY piss me off. She (and they) need to understand that there are other things in life for treats instead of sweets. How about a comic or something similar?

If she is getting up very early can you leave out some food for her? Fruit? Cereal? um . . . gosh can't really think of anything healthy that you could leave overnight! Sorry.

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