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Sleep problems in every member of my family! HELP please!!

6 replies

ShakeWhatYourMamaGaveYou · 24/06/2012 03:49

Ok so I'm pretty desperate. Not sure whether to post here or in sleep so have started here. I am desperate with exhaustion and it's quite literally affecting my ability to parent my eldest children, be a nice human being and basically function.
Will try and keep brief and summarise:

Dd1 (5.4y) bed at 7pm but wakes at least once a night most nights with nightmare/ scared of monsters or wet the bed. (We are using Brolly sheets not pullups - more success). Comes into our room, or shouts out. We comfort her and put her back to her bed.

Dd2 (3.0y) bed at 7pm too but then won't go to sleep even if completely exhausted. Sits up in bed, plays with toys, empties clothes from cupboard, up and out into the lounge, demanding drinks etc etc this carries on till 9pm every single night till she falls asleep. We have tried ignoring, shutting in garage, staying with her till she sleeps, bribing, shouting, you name it.
She then also wakes most nights very early- around 4am and wakes us up, wanting to come in bed etc we comfort her and put her back in her bed. She settles but up again around 5am. At this point she normally stays in bed with us.

Ds (4m)
goes down 7:30ish and wakes at 1, 4, 5, 6am most nights. Sometimes dropping the 1am and waking at 2 or 3 instead.

DDs have been waking like this for months if not years, but combined with a baby- this is simply killing me!

We are completely and utterly exhausted. Why why why are all 3 kids awake at/all night?? What can we do about it? What are we doing wrong??

Also, dh has a job which involves quite a bit if driving, and supervising people on heavy machinery etc so it really is an issue if he's over tired.

Please don't suggest co-sleeping- not room for all of us!! And we cant let one dd without the other. Jealousy issues. They still manage to creep in sometimes and it's not safe for ds.
Also, dh value our bed as 'ours', rather than a free-for-all. We want to sleep together not in separate rooms -sex life in tatters as it is!

OP posts:
Nevercan · 24/06/2012 07:32

Poor youSad . Does 3 year old nap during the day?

AdventuresWithVoles · 24/06/2012 07:47

Is DD1 comfortable in her bed? mine get bad dreams if too hot.

DD2: Attention seeking; I think I would start by setting firm rules about drinks, etc. Plan ahead.

DS: Again, I wondered how comfortable he is in his bed.

I think you might have to bite the bullet & not allow the older ones out of their rooms between certain hours. I hate routine & being a dragon, it makes me morbidly depressed, but it might be your saviour to become very very strict.

susssiq · 24/06/2012 07:53

how is DH work schedule and when do you and DH go to bed?
Think DH should put 3yo and five yo to bed and handle 5yo if she wakes at night if he also goes to bed early he can get up with them in morning and you sleep in a bit. You sort out baby at night and if 3yo is up att 4 get her back to sleep. Does 3yo go to nursery? if she does you should try and nap in a morning when they have gone and get baby into a routine of having a nap 9-11

NightLark · 24/06/2012 07:59

Sympathy from a fellow sufferer.
I'm not sure I have much to offer, sorry.

The only things I didn't try over the years with DS was leaving him to howl and locking him in with a stair gate. Because I just couldn't be that mean. He slept through by the middle of reception year and is now at the end of Y1 and, though an early waker, has lost his 'problem sleep' patterns.

For tiny baby stage, night weaning may help (again, something I could never bring myself to do because feeding was such an immediate help). I do feel, looking back, that we got into a cycle of feed, feed, feed , meaning a lot of early hours wakings.

Your DD2's sleep sounds like the main issue - do you feel you could cope with the other two if her sleep was better?

ShakeWhatYourMamaGaveYou · 24/06/2012 11:03

Thanks so much for your replies. Will try and answer all the questions..
Dd2 sleeps during the day occasionally for an hour or so- she's always been quite wakeful and spirited!
Yes I think perhaps dd2 is the most problematic - we fo need to get strict about the attention seeking. Dh and o have discussed it and we do need to be more dragon-like about the bedtime routine.
Dh leaves the house about 7 and is back about 5:30-6pm. We both go to bed about 10..

Ds has started sleeping in the mornings but dd2 is usually awake so j can't nap- however, she starts a nursery for 2 days a week in two weeks so I will get more time to catch up on sleep!

Will investigate night weaning - and I suspect all the feeding is indeed making him more unsettled - sore tummy/ windy etc.. But he really doesn't go down easily without feeding and it's become a bit of a habit- although a nice one! I've started trying to get him down for naps without feeding to sleep during the day. And had some success
so maybe nights will follow.

Ok will have a good look at all their beds, temp etc and the advice about dh and taking turns with a lie in etc may help us with the sleep deprivation a bit.

OP posts:
EggsOvaryZee · 06/07/2012 09:43

Was searching by topic through various issues and found this. (Also going to post in sleep...)

Please can you give me an update on what's happening?!

I am writing this with such a similar story. It also is my 3.2 yr old DD that is the main issue. We try and put both kids down at the same time, 7.30pm.
DS (4.6) is OK to go to sleep, normally...although for the past few nights, he has come out of his room around 8.30pm cos DD is still up/making noise etc...
Also he has been coming into our room 3-4 times in the night to ask us to 'put him in position' - this involves laying the blanket/duvet across him in a certain way - we've tried teaching him how to do this himself, doesn't work. He wet the bed last night for the first time in over 6 months and also is getting up much earlier than he used to....just gone 6am, when previously he was a 12 hour sleeper, no problem. (We have a groclock, which he now doesn't really pay much attnetion to, and a blackout blind).

Any ideas from your exp what this might be?

As for DD. She is challenging. I really beleive she needs more sleep than she is getting - this is evident from her tantrums/upsets/food issues etc...
She dicks around in her room for over an hour - last night was til 8.45pm, despite being put in bed at 7.30pm.
She will roam around into the bathroom, call out frequently etc...She also wakes early from 5.30-6.30am and then comes into bed with us - we let this since I still BF but only if it's after 6.30am. We send her back to her room where she cries so loudly, it often is pointless anyone else going back to bed, and wakes up DS.

I know kids need different sleep, but she must only be getting 10 hours, if that. She doesn't sleep in the day anymore, last week she did for 2 hours and then wasn't asleep til midnight....

Any help or ideas.....we are sooooooo tired and getting quite miserable.
DS starts school in Sept and I'm getting worried about it.

Today my plan is to try a LOT more exercise!

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