If you don't stop doing that I will.......

[lowestpriority]

what?
My 3 DCs are driving me up the wall atm. They all refuse to listen to a word I say.
This is especially bad when I want them to come inside after playing on the park. It's just no, no, no.
I have actually stood in front of them and said "If you don't come inside now I will."....and that's it. I have no idea what to use as an incentive, IYSWIM.
I really don't want to be one of those mums who constantly yorps and shouts across the street to my DCs, but it is getting that way. Trying to reason with them gets me nothing but ignored.
However, when they are with their dad, I have seen them literally jump to order! What am I doing wrong here?

Firstly, it doesn't matter what you threaten unless you mean it and carry it out every single time. If you do, it will work everytime, but if you slip, even once, it's always worth your DCs testing you to see if you meant it.

Once you've got that sorted, the things that have worked for me at various ages are:

There'll be no bedtime story
You won't go to (something planned for the weekend)
No TV/computer/WII tomorrow
Pocket money stopped/reduced
Confiscate phone/Ipod/Bike

What do they love?

With my son, it's 'do it/stop doing it or no bedtime story'.

Works 99% of the time.

He's 3.

Of course the natural consequence for not coming in from the park is that they don't get to go out tomorrow/for the rest of the week, depending on if I'm pre-menstral how harsh you want to be

'If you want me to let you come to the park tomorrow you need to show me you can stop playing when I ask you to today.'

If they don't they only play in the garden the next day and demonstrate to you that they can stop as soon as you ask there. Keep that going until you think they've suffered enough for a while and then give them 'another chance to show you they can stop immediately when required in the park'.

Oh, and set the rules before they start playing, not at the end.

But that's just it.
I get so worked up about them just ignoring me when I ask them to do /stop doing something that I actually get quite upset and they see this and play on it.
I grounded DD yesterday for something that she knew damn well she wasn't allowed to do.
This morning she wanted to play out. I explained that she was grounded and she knew this. Major major tantrum ensued, with her arguing the fact that she was grounded. I stood firm, but I know this will happen again and again as they all seem to have the memory of a goldfish.
I am tired of repeating this over and over.
Why can they just not GET IT the first time ?

My 3 are exactly the same. I can ask them to do something and it is like I am invisible and it really pushes my buttons.

Good thing about sticking to the threat and putting up with the first set of tantrums is that you can use them as an example for the next time they threaten not to do as you've asked.

"do you want to stay in and have a screaming hissy fit again like yesterday?"
"no."
"get in the house then"

I use 5 minutes earlier than anyone else and this can keep going until I can put them all into their beds by 6.30ish

Counting to 3 works for the youngest but the older 2 will laugh and congratulate me on my counting skills little shits

EBD, that's a great idea.
Why didn't I think of that???

It's my day job

PissyDust it's so demoralising isn't it?
What really pees me off is that I have seen them at school and when the teacher tells them to do something they do it straight away. Same with their dad and their grandma.
Think I need to learn assertiveness somehow to show them that I am the adult and I am in charge.

Dd1 is the worst one at the minute and at the age of 10 she should a, set an example and b, know bloody better!

I am really strict with them at the minute, I even write lists of jobs they need to do before I let them go out with friends and I have a set time they have for diner time, say 40 mintes so hey don't throw food down their throat so they can go back out and play.

I'm hoping it's a phase but then again the next phase is going to be pre teen and I'm not sure how much more I can take.

The answering back and stating the obvious drive me mad as well!

Sigh

Good tip about the dinner. My lot gulp down their dinners just to get outside playing again. Really pees me off.