DD 7, swearing

[PJulie]

My DD is a sweet seven year old most of the time but last three or four months she has started swearing, fuck(ing) and shit are most used and bloody occasionally.

It is like were is my fucking charger or when she dropped a fork it is like shit.

I must add I rarely swear, a very occasional shit under my breath but rare.

I have been telling her off and i am not sure whether to make a big deal off it or not; my parents make a huge deal of it but no one else seems to. Was in a shop earlier when she was offered a cheese sample, "its fucking horrible" she declared.

The middle aged woman laughed, I apologized, she told me its OK she hears it all the time.

OK help me out here

I would be making a MASSIVE deal of it, at any age let alone 7.

I would explain that people find it offensive and it isn't necessary. The incident in the shop amazes me - I say fuck occasionally in front of friends or DP but would never say it in front of someone I didnt know as I dont know if they will be offended. I would definitely not be laughing if I were the shop assistant, I'd be horrified actually. Im not trying to judge, just showing that your parents are not the only people who care.

I would use a similar concept to a swear jar but with toys or treat time rather than money. Because swearing is a very specific behaviour I think it is too meaningless to reward not swearing in the way you would reward for general good behaviour (if you have a child who tantrums or is violent for example).

Pick something she likes - a certain toy, playing out or TV time for example - and tell her that every time she swears she will lose a toy or 5 minutes of treat time (whichever you have chosen). With the toys I would say she gets them back maybe 2 days later. The next day I think isnt long enough, even at 6 she will just think 'oh well i'll get it back tomorow'. Dont let her earn treat time back - the aim of this is to get her out of the habit of swearing so she must have a negative association with it.

If she manages to go a day without swearing then make a big deal out of it, lots of praise.