The baby isn't even born yet, and I'm worried about getting it to sleep....

[lucylookout]

I'm 36 weeks pregnant with DC2. DS1 was a terrible, terrible, TERRIBLE sleeper and I think I've been deeply scared by the experience! We tried long and hard for this pregnancy, DS has been asking for sibling for ages (he's almost 5) so we're really very excited about meeting the baby, but I have to confess that I'm losing sleep over the thought of having another sleeper like DS was and wondering if I can encourage this one to be any better...

In hindsight I can see that we created many of our problems; I became a human dummy throughout the night, way after he actually needed any nutrition from me, we didn't recognise the signs of over tiredness when he was very young and quite often he barely slept during the day and so became completely hysterical at night, quite often screaming himself to sleep while we held him, when he was asleep we tiptoed around, terrified that we might wake him up, so he became extremely sensitive to noise. You get the idea. And of course I know that some babies just sleep better than others.
But, if any of you had similar experiences with 1st and subsequent DCs and had any 'eureka' moments, I'd love to hear them (although please don't advise Gina Ford or co-sleeping, neither are for me).
Thanks!

I'm just going to say I gf both my children . Very different starts in life and one not and one girl. Both slept from 12 weeks for 12 hours . No wakings ever ! .... If you don't fancy it I would suggest putting them
In their room for the hours between 7 pm and 7 am . Do all night feeds during this time in the room and do a wind down bath routine first so everything is calm . I'm not looking for a fight , I'm not a gf devotee but it worked for me . Oh and get a blackout blind .

No eureka moments from me. DD is almost 3 now, and from 3 months old she has slept 12 hours a night from 8pm-8am. She is our first, we didn't have a clue what we were doing, she had a dummy, she had a night time routine (most nights!) we tiptoed round the house when she was asleep which I definitely won't be doing for number 2, the room was always dark.. I suppose my point is... don't worry! Each baby really is different, and I honestly don't think it matters what you do with them, they will just either be a naturally good sleeper or not.

I am terrified to have number 2 in case we get the complete opposite, honestly, I'd have a break down after being so used to such a good sleeper!

Thanks both, I appreciate your messages. When did you start putting your DCs to bed at their bedtime, be that 7pm or 8pm? I remember that for at least the first few weeks (months? can't honestly remember) DS went to bed at the same time as us, as there didn't seem to be much point in putting him to bed earlier than that because we would have just spent the entire time running up and down the stairs!

Having had 3DSs I think it is luck of the draw.
DS1 and 2 were terrible sleepers - DS2 is nearly 6 and still horrendous - wakes regularly through the night, been using rapid return every night for the last 5 years and it hasn't made a difference. DS1 is on melatonin to help him go to sleep...

DS3 on the other hand, I did exactly the same with - fed him to sleep in the same way and before we were discharged by the midwife at 21days he was sleeping through the night (from about 10pm-7am). He used to nap at sensible times and not fight it. I was hoping he wouldn't drop his nap, but like his big brothers he dropped it at 18months, but at 3 he is still a fab sleeper when going to bed.

DD slept in a crib in a quiet corner of the living room until she was 3 months old, then we'd take her up to bed with us and put her in her cot next to our bed. We'd do the whole bath/feed routine with dimmed lights and then put her down for the night. Should have seen us, was like a military mission getting her up there without waking her I laugh when I think back now but it was serious business back then!

Then she suddenly stopped waking for feeds throughout the night, so one night I decided to put her up to bed at around 8pm as we were both getting sick of tiptoeing around all night with the TV on low, and to our amazement she was absolutely fine. She stayed there until she was 1 and a half and then went into her own room. Even when she is sick she very rarely wakes, we have been truly blessed with her. But as I said, she has set the bar high for our next one so in a way I am not grateful for all of those nights of uninterrupted sleep!

That's the trick .. Do it from day one .. If you are worried get an apnoea monitor ( £75) .. My ds was prem and poorly with reflux and it still worked . He was one month corrected when he slept through .

Oh and try and get as much milk in them from day one so they need less in the night. I also have a trick for this if you are interested but it's only needed when they are on 2 night feeds so for me around 8 weeks ( actual) .

Really, from day 1? Crikey. Would love to hear 8 week trick Bishbosch.

Thanks Littlemiss and Thisisausername. Would love to think this time we'll get better luck, but fear it might be something in the genes!

Yep day one .. It's not really any bother to go upstairs every two hours is it?..... The basic principles of gf is get as much milk in them in the day for them to sleep at night . By 7 weeks ish they are on milk at 7 pm , 10 pm and 3/4am . So for the 3/4 feed you decrease it gradually day by day making them drink more during the day . When you get down to 120 ml offer cool boiled water first . By the time tht realise thy are drinking water they have filled up their tummies a bit . When they cry for milk , give milk but they will only take a few ml. Keep reducing milk and get to 30 ml . Then drop that feed. Repeat with 10 pm feed . And voila by 12 weeks babies sleep through. I'm not saying its fail safe but my babies are very different and they did the same thing at the same time because I convinced them too. I never had to leave them to cry , they learned to sled soothe very early on. Also I always put them to bed at 7 pm awake with a musical mobile on . Put it on step away and let them go to sleep. It takes 30 seconds for ds to go To sleep.

Please continue to feed on demand, but try gentle things like maybe trying a dummy (after 6 weeks), feed in dark and quiet at nightime as suggested, put them to bed at similar time of night (not really worth doing until 8/9 weeks ime) with same routine e.g. bath feed song sleep. Stroking / patting to sleep is nice instead of feeding to sleep, and something that can be quietly cut shorter and shorter as they get older. Swaddling worked well with mine as tiny babies, then a baby sleeping bag. Don't rush in at the first noise, sometimes they grumble then go back.

Don't blame yourself though - your baby may well have been sensitive to noise and that's why you had to creep round, rather than you creeping round making him sensitive iyswim. Both mine can only sleep in the dark so I had to chuck massive blankets over the pram / tuck them into my coat in the sling, it was really annoying but not my fault!

Agree with sorting naps helping them not go overtired, do the same thing putting them down for naps as you do at night, and remember small babies might only be able to stay awake for 45 mins - an hour at a time, they might need to be asleep for the next hour after that so put them down when they do things like turn their face away from you, scratch their ears / whack their faces, - if they do this and they've been awake for nearly an hour, put them to bed, whether its bed in the pram or in the sling or in the moses basket, do something which they can use as a sleep cue e.g. sing a song, hide them away from stimulation, give them a dummy / blanket.

Young babies should not nap or sleep away from their parents because of the increased risk of cot death.

OP I sympathise, DS1 was a moderately awful sleeper, and DS2 was worse. My only advice is to try and get as much sleep now as you can!