Bed time Disaster!

[calp84]

Hi
My son is 2 and a half years old and has always been a fabulous sleeper! he slept though from about 4 months! But recently bed time has become a nightmare!! We will always have a story before bed and I will tuck him in, say good night and give him a kiss but within 5 mins he's up out of bed. He's now learnt how to open the stair gate that I have on his bedroom door and will just refuse to stay in his bedroom! I have tried the taking him back to bed without saying anything (i did this for an hour and a half last night) but he ends up hitting, kicking, screaming, throwing himself and his toys on the floor etc etc. The only way he will calm down is if we both go to bed in my bed! This is DEFINATELY NOT a habit I want to get into!!
I've done star charts with him, so that when he goes to bed and stays in bed, he gets a star and a smiley face with a treat at the end of the week. This works brilliantly for a week but then he completely loses interest!
Me and my son's dad have recently split up (4 months ago), so Im sure this has had an affect on him. He also stays at his dads twice a week, but according to his dad, he always goes straight to sleep (!?). It is usually the day he gets back from his dads that we have the worst night.
Any help, advice or suggestions would be really helpful!
Thanks in advance!
Cal
x

I feel for you Cal, my 2 DC have always been good sleepers (bar the odd blip) and I'm always extremely grateful for this. I can't offer any real insight but a couple of things jumped to my mind when I read your post.

Does your DS still nap in the daytime? Sounds like he's not completely tired when he's put to bed. My 4yo is so exhausted when she gets into bed each night that she's practically asleep before I close the curtains.

The fact he plays up so much more when he's returning from his dads is probably his way of telling you he missed you and getting plenty of your attention. He could also be napping more at his dads?

My DD went through a disruptive bedtime phase around this age but would stay upstairs and cry & call for me. We negotiated that I would go back and forth checking on her every couple of minutes giving her a calm kiss & cuddle each visit and praised her for staying in her bed until she fell asleep. She had to stay in bed and not fuss or call for me. I really did go in and out of her room with that frequency which meant I couldn't get anything done until she was asleep but at least she stayed calm & I think settled quicker. Some nights it worked, other nights we had a battle but it eventually worked for us. She's 4.4 now and the last thing she says to me each night is how many checks she wants me to do.

Good luck xx

I agree with millingtonsmummy, it is likely to reflect his feelings on your separation and the new life he is adjusting to- What about staying with him until he falls asleep? Cuddling up in his bed, I mean, and then sneaking out? It is a great way to reassure him of your continuing love and that not everything in his life is falling apart. It won't last forever, but it will give him the feeling of being loved that lasts his lifetime.
Also, how does he sleep at night? Does he wake up often? When he has been at his dad's and comes back, is he generally more emotional?