have you left your baby to cry at night?

[moondolphin]

and if so, any regrets?

I'm at a point when I think we may need to let DS cry for a bit. He used to wake often at night, then slept well for a short period (so I know he can do it), but has now started waking again, seemingly to just get us to come and say hello, as he is not hungry, wet, in need of anything in particular (he usually stops as soon as we come in).

thing is I worry that, if we let him cry (with the aim of teaching him to go back to sleep without us), he might hate me in the morning / lose his confidence.

he is 5 months and 1 week (I know I know - sleep training isn't meant to start until 6 months)

Any thoughts much appreciated!
Have you let your baby 'cry it out' and did it work? was he/she still the same baby the next morning??

No, I didn't leave any of mine to cry, they're only babies for a short time and they need reassurance even if they don't need a feed or change. Recommend co-sleeping from first waking if your LO is waking multiple times a night. If you can both sleep more that way then go for it!

If you can sleep in the day while baby is sleeping then do so, it really helps. None of my 3 dc's were good sleepers under 2, they do sleep brilliantly now thankfully. You have my sympathy....

What do you mean by left them to cry?

If its for 5-10 minutes to see if they resettle then yes.

I've got 3 kids and learnt many mistakes from my first!

I do agree that sleep does go a bit pants around 5-6 months and then again at around 10 months.

For me, the whole trick to the 'sleeping well' thing is to get them to go down without to much interference during the day. If you can get them happy going to sleep in the day then the night works itself out.

daytoday that is brilliant advice! But how did you get them to sleep without fuss during the day? I always found the daytime naps really hard with my first...

No I have never. He slept through the night by himself at 2.4 years.

I think it's fairly normal BTW for them to wake up for the day at 5/5.30/6, just do whatever you can to let yourself doze during that time! Their waking patterns do change as they grow and once they're not having naps any more you can often adjust waking time by making bedtime a bit later.

My youngest (2) has always been pretty good about naps, kept it at a consistent time most days - 11-11.30 for min 45. I used to have her sleep in the car or do a cut-down bedtime routine in her bed, snuggle up and do one story then lie down together until she goes to sleep. She stopped wanting to sleep in her bed during the day though so after a while of having to be out I tried just tucking her up on the sofa with a blanket and put something tedious on tv like night garden. Knocks her out in no time :-) I just tuck her in and leave her to it, she goes to sleep by herself there and has been much better at self settling during the night.

I am with queen here.
I would doubt the stories about "it took one night and he has slept 14h since". In our case it did not take one night, it took about 4 or 5, but DS has slept very well since without having had to re-train him at any point.
And, like queen, my DS is often complimented on how happy and well balanced he is. I will also add that my connection has never "diminished" because of CC.

No, I've been tempted but never done it. DS (9 months) is not a good sleeper but he has reflux so I hate leaving him to cry in case he wants to be sick (like last night. For. Two. Hours. after being put to bed )

Co-sleeping on a mattress in his room at his first wakeup after I've gone to bed has worked wonders this week. If he's feeling better today (i.e. not sick) then I'm going to try leaving hi min his cot but me sleeping on the mattress wish me luck

In your OP you say he has slept well so you know he can do it. Well yes. DS also used to sleep well around 2-3 months. But then he could no longer do it. Seriously. Something was going on developmentally and he just couldn't sleep well anymore (I'd often find him trying to crawl or sit up in his sleep whilst crying)

Yep me too, more like 4-5 nights and has slept for 12-13 hours a night from being 12 weeks old, he's 7.5 months now and there was no 4 month sleep regression here . An sure it will come back to bit me when he's a toddler...

Queen and DialM that's reassuring! DS is very happy - wakes up and starts laughing. Would hate to lose that because I didn't come running over night.

He is just starting to crawl so maybe that's part of it.

Thanks all for your replies.

daytoday - sounds like v good advice re perfecting the daytime naps. we have a system that kind of works but it still requires me to do most of the putting to sleep, if that makes sense

Its an ongoing battle in this house - I really really do not want to do it with DD (5mo) and she does not do the grizzly cry she goes from fine to screaming in 30secs - but due to housing fail am in with my parents who try to force her their way.

I am currently winning as shes my baby and also has sleep apnea so I dont think CIO will work for us but different families have different mummies and babies.

FWIW she is unsettled in the day atm and waking more at night - came on this board to see if it is normal for age and rate of development - turns out is!

I did CC at 6 months and 1 day. Co incidence - not because I was waiting for that date! It took 3 nights; 42 mins on night 1, 23mins for night 2 and 7mins for night 3. On night 4 not a peep. Until 6 months DD had never slept though and I fed to sleep (bf) for most naps and sleep unless she was in the pram. DD had never slept for more than 5 hrs since day 1. Since we did CC I have never fed to sleep, and amazingly DD slept though the whole night since, so I know she was waking out of habit rather than being hungry. Unless DD is poorly or majorly teething she has done ever since. I am waiting for it to go wrong.....

I know CC is a real controversial topic and I know it's not for everyone. I was desperate, it worked really well and DD is a v happy little girl (now 18 months) and all smiles in the morning. I would make sure that you are fully supported in any sleep training with your partner as its tough to hear your DC cry, but I don't regret it in the slightest. I would do a bit of reading about it first just to make sure you're committed to it.

I also know people who have tried a lot of other methods which didn't involve CIO or CC with good results. Whatever works and suits you.

Good luck in whatever you choose

Hi, Hope I dont sound too hard but once I had established both my babies were not hungry or cold (aged 6 - 8 Months) and were simply waking up because they fancied a cuddle I let them both cry. They cried for about 1/2 hour and never woke up again. It was heart breaking but if you can do it you will be preventing a very bad habit from forming.

I did with my first at eight months as I was at the end of my tether and it was true that it took one night and he has slept soundly ever since. Wouldn't do it with my second though as I was in a different mental place and it was entirely different, her sleeping at four is still a bit dodgy but I don't mind.

I did nightwean her easily at 8 months though using dh going in and cuddling. No crying though.

I would add too that I would never do anything if they were still waking at random hours and were hungry, only when they were taking in lots of milk and food during the day and were consistently waking at the same time once every night iyswim.