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Help - At my wits end with 18mth DS behaviour

3 replies

baileyslover · 19/06/2012 21:26

Ok quick back story. 6mths pregnant with triplets so term size already, DH works away during the week, home at weekends and very hands on. DS eats and sleeps well, self settling and decent daytime nap. Goes to CM 3 days a week.
Really since 12months old DS behaviour towards other children has got pretty bad, biting and pinching faces. It is not every child everytime, but he cannot be trusted at all. Sometimes it is clearly frustration/anger over a toy or piece of equipment, sometimes when over excited in play but other times it is totally random. He doesn't do it to the CM, and only to me or DH when he is having a tantrum and we are carrying him.
When it occurs we set him to one side say no pinching/biting then go to comfort injured party. We then get him to sign sorry and he then hugs or blows a kiss to the child.
He appears to know that he has upset us, but is clearly too young to understand cause and effect.
I suppose what I want to know is is there anyone else who has experienced this with their child. Is there anything else we can do?
This is really stressing me out and am fearful of how much worse this will get with 3 newborns around.
If you have managed to get this far then thanks Smile

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millingtonsmummy · 19/06/2012 22:08

I worked in a nursery before DC and remember one gorgeous little girl who was a biter and face scratcher. With her it was for attention and we handled it exactly how you describe, calmly removing her to a quiet place, showering her victim with fuss and attention, getting her to say/sign sorry after a few minutes. She had a couple of specific children she went for so we always shadowed their play or distracted her. Does DS go for specific children? We concentrated on her positive behaviour and eventually she grew out of it. Hope this helps ... btw congrats on triplet pregnancy, wow!

Mayamama · 20/06/2012 09:07

Wow, congratulations! And I really like the kind of approach you seem to be taking with him, carrying him when he tantrums and calmly responding to his biting and stratching. I suggest, if you have time, check out Aletha Solter's Tears and tantrums, it gives great advice which might flow over to your future with four DC... Or check articles and answers to questions on her website www.awareparenting.com, specifically on biting: www.awareparenting.com/answer11.htm
Good luck with everything,
M

baileyslover · 20/06/2012 18:54

Thanks, I know this is a phase that hopefully will pass, but I just don't know how long I am goingto have to be on tenterhooks. It is so stressful in any group situation Sad

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