18 month old being defiant.

[milkyjo]

My 18 month old DS has started to become very boisterous and defiant. He will not hold my hand when walking even though I try to be consistent when walking through car parks, (not yet crossed the road walking), he'll pull his arm away, or if I hold his arm he will sit down and get very angry, this then leads me to pick him up and carry him, which he always likes although he's rather big to be carrying around. He walked just before his first birthday. He's also got into the habit of picking up stones or toys and throwing them whilst shouting 'No!', which I think stems from us telling him no to throwing things.

I was just wondering what I should be doing about the holding hands in the car park thing as I can't let him have a paddy in the middle of the car park. If he does this at home I leave him to it and it never lasts anymore than a minute. I think its too late for reins as he is quite independent now. Also when he throws things I have told him firmly to stop and then found something else for him to do. Am I doing this right? Thanks.

I'm having similar problems with my 16 month old DS. At this age I wouldn't turn things in to a battle of wills. With holding hands I give DS the option of holding my hand or I carry him to where it is safe for him to walk without holding hands, If we are going somewhere where he would need to hold my hands lots to keep him safe I just bring his buggy.

Reins. It's never too late for them.

He holds hands or you put the reins on. No arguments.

Exactly what Tee said.

I agree with Tee too. You could also try teaching him to hold onto the buggy as he walks.
I often put the reins on before we leave the house/getting out of the car and tuck in the bit I hold until I need to grab it! This means they don't feel like a punishment (I hope), just a choice.

I have an equally defiant 18mo dd.. she's prone to throwing herself onto any surface - road, car park etc if she doesn't want to hold hands and will happily throw her arms across her chest shouting 'mine'.
On the advice of a thread here we got her the little life rucksack reins and about a month ago and she'll 9/10 times happily put them on if say 'we're going to walk'... I know she also is quite good at holding the pushchair with the childminder. We did do as Tee suggests though and it was a case of 'no arguments'.

We had the same thing at around 18mo. We carried on using the pushchair and if DS didn't hold my hand he got strapped back into the buggy. There was much howling in protest, but he did actually learn quite quickly that it was hold hands or be strapped in. Just be consistent and don't carry unless you really have to.

Failing that, the rugby ball hold works quite well with a flailing toddler

oh heck, I just pick my 18 month old up. He does this thing where he sits down, lies down. I generally leave him to it then when he's a little less floppy I pick him up and bribe him with snacks.