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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Being dry at night....when is it an issue?

34 replies

wideratthehips · 19/06/2012 11:15

Ds2 was 5 in feb and still has to wear a pull up at night. We have tried lifting him at night but he is such a deep sleeper and is really heavy that it's really too difficult, adding in three flights of stairs. We have had a chat about needing to go at night and he says that he doesn't know when he needs to go. He has suggested staying awake all night?! But I don't want to make an issue of it. I know that it is really about being a deep sleeper, the other night he woke up, had a wet pull up,took it off,got into bed with me and did a wee later on...that was a shock!
I know that children shouldn't be compared but his big brother was dry at night just before he was four and they were both dry during the day by 2.5. A bit of Internet research shows that it's a brain development thing, I think I just need some reassurance that there isn't something else going on. He also has to have a quick shower in the morning as he does smell a bit....I don't say this too him but it's now part of his routine as his pull up is soaking wet. When I check on him at about 10 it will already be a bit damp and if I try to wake him up he is really disorientated ( he shares a room with his brother and sister) and gets upset, any advice would be great fully received.

OP posts:

thedoublek · 19/06/2012 11:19

No advice. Just am in the same boat! I don't think we should worry. I'm pretty sure they won't be doing it when they are 19!

Indith · 19/06/2012 11:19

It isn't considered a medical issue until at least 7 years old.

My ds was 5 in January and doesn't wake up to wee, he just sleeps through it! We've tried going without nappies because sometimes he is dry but he just does not wake up, not even when he wets the bed.

ShowOfHands · 19/06/2012 11:23

Lovely Indith is right. Up to 7 it's of no concern at all. They either have the ability or they don't. If the hormone isn't there doing its job, they won't hold on.

FfoFfycsecs · 19/06/2012 11:24

I know how you feel. My DS is 6, nearly seven, and is only just out of pull ups. I really do think it's just very deep sleep, and that there tends to be a genetic trait to it as well. When he does wet the bed (which he does do sometimes still) he'd be dreaming that he'd woken up an gone to the toilet- something I used to do.
Things that helped DS were-
double peeing before bed- Make them try to wee before and after brushing teeth.
getting a plastic sheet for the mattress. No idea why this works but he's far less likely to pee if he's on the plastic sheet.
giving him more drink before 6- apparently more fluids help the control muscles.

Good luck! And don't worry.

Original poster

wideratthehips · 19/06/2012 11:26

Hhehehe I know! I have tried the cold turkey but he too just sleeps right through and can be quite distressed about it. I don't want him to be embarrassed or distressed about this as I know that it's not something he has any control over and it is just one of those things.....the pull ups are so expensive to right?? the other issue is that he has been invited to sleepovers with his big brother ( with his friends, not grandparents) and I have said not until he is dry at night, is that a bit mean? I just don't want him to be teased by other children which would then make it an issue!

OP posts:

Original poster

wideratthehips · 19/06/2012 11:29

Perhaps the family trait thing is true as I remember myself having a few accidents at night as a child where I had dreamt about going to the toilet but actually did a wee in bed. Hmmm and I also have to go to the toilet during the night, poor love, he's got my dodgy genes!

OP posts:

solidgoldbrass · 19/06/2012 11:32

My DS is nearly 8 and we still have an occasional wet bed if he's extra tired. As it's getting progressively rarer, I am inclined not to stress about it overmuch, but to make sure I take a disposable bedmat if we are staying in anyone else's house.

susiedaisy · 19/06/2012 11:32

I have two Ds my eldest is 14 and is still taking desomelt the tablet for bed wetting at night and still had around one accident a week and my second Ds was dry at night at five! Totally different abd believe me we tried everything to help ds1 be dry at night and absolutely nothing has worked, apparently puberty will kick in and the hormones will be in their system that makes them dry at night, we are still waiting

SydneyB · 19/06/2012 11:34

Same boat here. 5.5 yr old DD a WAY off being able to take away those pull ups. Younger DS 3.5 dry at night for a year. Just hanging in there and waiting! I also think that it's much more common than one is led to believe...

GobblersKnob · 19/06/2012 11:38

My ds is also very nearly eight, and still is occasionally wet. As he seems to be constantly improving, I am not too worried though I am ever hopeful that it will stop completely.

Both of mine were dry in the day around their second birthday and dd was dry at night at the same time. It is just one of those things.

ChopstheDuck · 19/06/2012 11:38

Regarding the sleepovers, I would ask him if he wants to go.

I have 7yo dts, one is dry, the other still bedwets. His twin has a huge mouth and has blabbed a few times about it to their friends. So dt1 has had to deal with it, and some of his friends do know. Soon we will probably have beaver camps to deal with. All they really need is a discreet adult and somewhere private to put on/take off the pull up.

We've tried demopressin, and it did NOTHING! The only other alternative is the alarm you should be able to get from the school nurse. It has a sensor and lights that flash when they have an accident, but it has a fairly low success rate and not ideal when you have siblings sharing.

I'm jsut hoping he grows out of it sooner or later, but you are def not alone!

Original poster

wideratthehips · 19/06/2012 11:41

Lots of us in the same boat so not too unusual then! So just let him come round to it in his own time? I really don't want to add any element of anxiety into the situation, I was a clumsy child ( and adult) and my mother was always having a go at me ( and about never being able to do ballet properly) which made me more clumsy as I was anxious so I really just want to let it run it's course...thanks for sharing your stories....we will soon forget about all this when they are hormonal teenagers being lovesick and moping around!

OP posts:

Original poster

wideratthehips · 19/06/2012 11:43

Re sleepovers...he's very keen as he's not anxious about being away from home and he knows the families very well, I'm just imagining him being teased which would not go down at all well!

OP posts:

ChopstheDuck · 19/06/2012 11:46

none of dt1's friends have teased him over it x

lynniep · 19/06/2012 11:46

I'm trying not to stress about it. DS1 was 5 in march and still needs pullups. He will go to the toilet if he's gone to bed but is still awake and needs it, and he often wakes up early if he needs it, but during the night he's out like a light. I was the same. He doesnt seem bothered by still being in nappies, and lifting him just woke him up and he couldnt we anyway resulting in a very very tired child next day.

Shesparkles · 19/06/2012 11:53

My ds was 8.6 before he was reliably dry at night. It didn't bother him, and it was far easier keeping him in pull ups than dealing with wet beds.
In this time he also went on a couple of beaver sleepovers and stayed overnight with a couple of friends and never had an issue about taking some "pj pants" as he called them.

SuzysZoo · 19/06/2012 13:44

I really would not worry at all until they are 7/8. When they are 7 you can hire one of those alarm thingies that sounds when they wee. Apparently it only takes a week and they stop. So apart from the expense of pull ups, I don't think it's something to worry about at all. My son was about 6 when we stopped the pull ups. TBH he could probably have done it earlier but I couldn't be bothered with all the sheet changing stuff!

ratbag · 20/06/2012 17:08

My DD is nine and still in pull-ups at night. She can be dry for several nights in a row and then be wet again, there is no real pattern to it. She isn't worried and neither are we, things are improving gradually and she will get there in the end.

avenueone · 21/06/2012 12:48

I would ditch the pull up's. Until I did that my DS, who was 5 when he went dry at night too, would just wee as it didn't matter (lazy!).
I also found a star chart worked (I had never used one before as didn't really like them). It then took two/three weeks for him to be dry for a week.
Strangly - he was better in different beds - we had a holiday coming up and I was strong, didn't take pull ups and... he did it!!! it was a great feeling.
he only ditched the dummy at 5.5 (bad mummy)... he still keeps his `blankies' (muslin squares) which I think is cute.. he thinks he is a big tough boy so I can't tell his friends lol x

ChopstheDuck · 21/06/2012 21:56

I've done star charts - didnt work, and done leaving the pull ups - wet beds and wet child until morning for several nights.

I really do think if they aren't ready, they aren't ready and it is very hard and wrong to force the issue. If they might be ready, it is worth trying, but don't feel bad or push if it doesn't work.

WinkyWinkola · 21/06/2012 22:04

My ds1 is 7 and still wears pyjama pants. They are full every morning. He refuses to go on sleepovers because he is terrified of being mocked.

I'm not yet worried. I will give it another 3 years and then maybe try that alarm thingy.

Smokedsalmonbagel · 21/06/2012 22:08

Same boat here, DS1 is just 5.

The school nurse sent us an advice sheet which suggested getting him to drink more in the day and double weeing before bed. Its also been suggested he doesn't have any red or brown drinks as they can irritate the bladder.

We are going to have a try without PJ pants over the summer holidays. I sometimes wonder if he is a bit lazy and wees in them instead of getting up. I guess I'll find out!

trixymalixy · 21/06/2012 22:09

DS was 5 in jan. We tried ditching the pull ups, we tried for about 6 weeks before going back to pull ups. He would go for a couple of nights dry and then a couple of nights wet and then went a whole week dry, followed by a whole week wet!!!! We're going on holiday tomorrow so back to pull ups for a bit.

ChopstheDuck · 21/06/2012 22:13

It's rather sad how many children feel ashamed of something with is clearly quite normal. I think we've been quite lucky in that dt1 had no chance of keeping it secret and he realised it wasn't such a big issue. Children taht young are generally are very accepting.

notactuallyme · 21/06/2012 22:14

Ds is 9, asd, and still on desmomelt. Thinking of alarm, but not sure because of the sensory side of things. Ds 3 is 4.6 and still in pull ups. Ds2 dry since age 2 as was dd. No idea!

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