7 year old son getting anxious at bedtime and can't sleep

[Kazzabob]

My son has always been a good sleeper but recently it has been becoming a real problem - I have found out his teacher tells children they need to go to bed earlier if they're caught yawning - he takes this very seriously as doesn't like to be told off. We've told him nicely that we know him best and make surhe goes to bed when he should. Anyhow, we read with him, and then tell him he can read a little until he feels tired. I also tell him I will say goodnight when I go to bed as he tells me he misses both me and my husband. He calls won 3/4/5 times a night and it can sometimes get fraught (sp?!) - this evening I've sat with him, given him a big cuddle, talked about relaxing his body etc. he says he calls down as he has important things to to me - so I've said he can write them down and then then we can talk about them in the morning. We've also taken his clocks out as he's been stressing about the time when he hasn't fallen asleep. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks, Karen

What time do you put him to bed. Do you think these are all stalling tactics as he's not really sleepy or do you think he might no over tired?

Be not no. Sorry

We went through a stage like this when DD was about 7, anxious about getting (or not getting) to sleep and also waking anxious at night. What helped a lot was giving her a CD player to listen to audio stories whilst falling asleep. If she was the slightest bit sleepy the story would lull her to sleep and if she was awake then it would occupy her mind. She was allowed to put it on (low) in the middle of the night if she woke too. For a while we'd find her asleep in the morniing with CD still playing but after a while that stopped and she was only using it to fall asleep at nightime.

He goes to bed at @7:45/8 and then it was lights out by @8.15pm we've now said about reading until he's tired - he switches the light off by himself but then the cycle starts ...

I'm looking into CD's called Relax Kids - anyone used them? Just trying to work out the logistics of using it, ie. MP3/ CD with headphones etc, as we have a 6 year old daughter who falls asleep OK ( at the minute!).

We've just been through a similar phase - yes phase! - fingers crossed we're through it! Our daughter aged 9 was very similar even worrying that because she wasn't getting to sleep she was missing too much sleep and would be ill and so on and so on! We had a few things on the horizon in the way of holidays birthday parties etc and i wondered if this was the problem although she insisted it wasn't.I tried the talking, cuddling reading etc and sometimes shouting when i'd had too much! Then I tried some reflexology points and then Bach rescue night remedy drops explaining how these things worked which seemed to help . Try these!! Unfortunately the thing that has helped the most is that she caught chicken pox and was so poorly that she wanted to go to sleep a lot and since then she's been ok (fingers crossed!).I 'm not much help I know but I was feeling as desperate as you are now 2 weeks ago and we're through it now - hopefully your phase will end soon too!

My dd went through this at a similar age. I ended up buying rescue remedy, a sleep one, forgotten the name but you put a drop or two on the tongue. This seemed to help DD mentally straight away, as on the first night I remember her saying that she was really pleased that she'd be able to sleep and she did even though it obviously couldn't have worked that quickly, it just reassured her and broke the cycle.

I've never used Bach Rescue remedy - might be worth a punt! I keep telling myself it's a phase!!!!

That's funny! Good old rescue remedy!

I'm also struggling with an anxious DD at night time ( it's been very wearing mentally and physically as he's settling very late ).
I will also try the Rescue Remedy night drops.

My son uses the Feel Good Friends relaxation CD - its brilliant, often sends me off too!!

Ps She still wants the drops every night and its 4 drops - - I've said "until this bottle runs out" They're bl@@dy expensive not cheap! But worth it if they work! Good luck! Ps google and find the cheapest place I just grabbed mine from Tesco in a moment of madness brought on by lack of sleep!

Just ordered two Relax Kids CD's/Books - will now google rescue remedy. Can you water down the remedy so that eventually you're giving water or would she wise up to that?!

Also I've asked husband if he can speak with his teacher to see if she can reassure him. Fingers crossed as this can't go on!

I used Lavender oil with my kids.

I think she would realise - its a bit sweet sugared water if you ask me! but I would certainly buy it again if she was regressing at all !

Maybe try settling down earlier it's end of term and end of year might just need more sleep. I know it seems a mad thing to say. But if I put my dd (6) to bed after 7.30 it takes hours. Also tried all sorts when she was younger but just seemed to make it worse. Now after tea we get into pjs do toiletries and come back down to supper in front of tv. Takes between 15-30mins dependant on everyones moods. Found timing her is a brilliant motivator (beat your best time). Then one story only read by me. Glass of water by bed and I leave no negation. However under no circumstances do I say she has to go to sleep as she is stubborn and will dig her heels in lonely without me. She can have the light on and read as long as she wants. After months of trial and error this sense of free choice in very controlled circumstances really seems to help. Won't work for ever but might help.