Poor you, lack of sleep is a nightmare. I recommend Tizzie Hall. I used the naps to teach my DS to self settle because I was feeling stronger during the day than at night (when I was just plain old desperate). I started this about 4 months. I think it's important to teach the self settling so that the baby can put themselves back to sleep between sleep cycles (when they wake every few hours at night).
Here goes:
Tizzie Hall's self settling method in brief:
First learn to tell the difference between an emotional/ hungry cry (waa waa waa waa waa continuously) and a protest cry (wa wa waaaa pause while listening for Mummy - wa wa waaa pause whilst etc etc). Protest crying can be ignored , the other kind can't. Protest crying can go on for a while, especially if baby is expecting you to come in as usual. DS went on for 1hour 9 mins the first time I left him (morning nap), 9 mins the second time (afternoon nap) and didn't cry at all in the evening for bed time, it was that quick. We were lucky and I was prepared to stick it out for 2 or 3 days before seeing an improvement, so I was impressed.
Make sure you put baby down dry, well fed, no wind, good temperature, happy and with a cloth comforter that smells of you - the old stuff it down the bra for a bit trick. I attach DS's to the cot bars with plastic loopy links so it can't fall out.
Choose a day you're feeling strong. Make sure you've done all of the above , give baby a short hug/kiss/say 'nap time' and put baby down in cot and walk away quickly, shut the door if you normally do. And stay away. No going back in after 5/10/15 mins because this gives the baby mixed messages and leads them to expect comfort from you when the whole point is you want them to self settle.
When baby wakes, even if they haven't been asleep long, go and get them and have a much needed (for you!) hug. At night time, only go in if it's time for a feed.
This method can be quite draining at the beginning but works quickly so I suggest start in the morning when you feel at your strongest and keep busy during the crying. I also bought a video monitor before starting as I knew this would give me the reassurance I needed. Best money I've ever spent!
This is a review of Save Our Sleep that I wrote for the local NCT mag, I include it as it'll give a reasonable overview:
As with most baby sleep books, you tend to reach for them when you?re at your wits? end. The great thing about this book is that you can read the whole thing if your sleep deprived mind can cope ? or you can turn to the 2 pages that lay out a routine for your baby?s age and just follow it! If you?ve really had enough, (like we had after 4 months of naff all sleep) pp71-78 cover how to teach your baby to self settle. Reading about ?protest crying? as opposed to ?emotional crying? gave us the confidence to let our baby get on with it and I finally stopped rocking him to sleep in my arms (which was causing me to slowly wither inside).
If you?re lucky enough to read this book before having your first baby, then it?s a very thorough guide to milk feeds and solids, health and illness, settling and sleeping, whether for single babies, multiple births or premature babies.
The main message I took from this book is that once the daytime sleeps and routine are settled, the night sleep will gradually fall into place. Tizzie Hall?s daytime routines may seem a bit strict, but having a routine can make it easier to get out and about. Also, the routines are for the baby ? not for us! We can eat, sleep, go out when we like!
The routines are set out according to age and have times for milk feeds, solid feeds if baby is ready, sleep/nap times, a dreamfeed and bed. They start from about 1 week old and continue until 2 years old. The daytime sleeps are pretty much set in stone but the writer recognises the importance to parents of getting out and about, so she?s keen for the baby to sleep through shopping/coffee out etc. One of the ways she recommends babies be taught to self settle is with a cloth comforter which can be used wherever the baby is sleeping ? cot, pram, car seat etc. I hadn?t bought these before as I hadn?t realised how much of a comfort they are but having seen them in action, I?m convinced.
Tizzie Hall has a website where you can shop for the products she recommends in her books and they do seem to be good quality. You can buy many similar items on the general market, sometimes quite a lot cheaper, but it?s good for ideas:
www.saveoursleep.co.uk
I really hope this helps, good luck.