3yo negativity

[debka]

My 3yo DD is lovely, but so negative at the moment.

I give her a sweet- she cries and tantrums because she wanted 2 sweets.

We go out for a walk, she screams that her sister is holding the hand she wanted to hold.

Every meal is greeted with I DON'T LIKE THIS MUMMY!!

I just ignore the screaming and stick with what I originally told her, and try to give her as much positive attention as possible.

But it's starting to get me down, she's just so much hard work and unpleasant to be with at the moment. Even when I go out fo my way to do something that she really wants to do, it ends in screaming and complaining.

Any advice? Or just This Too Will Pass?

Ahh, no advice as such, just empathy. I'm going to watch this space for anyone giving you any top tips this being one of those: 'Yep, I know that feeling.' scenarios. Sorry I can't help but you're not alone.

I'm experiencing similar problems with DD (2.2). Frankly, it's a bit depressing. However, DH hit on this excellent strategy:

DD: I don't like X (screams)
DH: You can't have X
DD: (Pause). I want X
DH: What do you say?
DD: Please.
DH: (Solemnly) OK then.

Seems to abort screaming fits about 90% of the time- much more reliable than ignoring/time out.
We also try to pick our battles. Eg- the other day she wanted to go to bed in her woolly hat. It was no skin off my nose, and it made her happy, so fine.

Most importantly- make sure someone else looks after her sometimes so you can preserve your sanity. I actually find DD is much better behaved for the babysitter than she is for me.

Oh yes, I have one of those, ds (3.6) is exactly like this. It makes for very hard work especially when you plan to do nice things together and it is met with a wall of whining, moaning and tantrums. It feels such a shame that by half way through the weekend I am looking forward to him going to childminder on Monday!
I like the reverse psychology though cloudy, I can see exactly how that might work with ds.
I mostly just ignore it or avoid giving/ mentioning things like treats for good behaviour as this can make ds worse.

I'm glad I'm not the only one!

I've found that although ignoring can be hard, it does pay off. I did some hardcore ignoring yesterday, she eventually wandered outside and had a glorious time playing with her sister.

I like your DH's method, cloudy, but I fear DD would probably see right through it! It might make her laugh though, which is always good for dispelling tension.

No way I could manage if she was at home all the time (God help me during the holidays), she's at pre school 3 mornings, then my mum has her today and my aunt (God bless her) has both girls all day on Thursday. Thursday is my favourite day of the week terrible mother