How do you handle 'NO!'?

[SausageSmuggler]

I know there's a similar thread on discussions of the day but didn't want to hijack.

DS is almost 20 months old and in the last few days has become very...challenging. Whatever I ask him to do gets a 'no' in return with a massive sobbing tantrum if I push the matter where the only way to calm him down is to cuddle him. His nursery said he responds well to stickers which i'm using but they don't work very often. I know its a normal stage of development - he's testing the boundaries but what could I try in terms of discipline? Once he's calm should I keep trying to get him to do what i've asked? It's only small things like helping me put his toys away which he used to do no problem.

The only thing I can think to do would be, if, for example, he refused to put his toys away and started having a tantrum, is totally ignore him until he calmed down, then ask him again and repeat if necessary. HTH

My 2 year old is just coming out of a phase of doing this. Got quite bad to the point that the slightest thing would send her into meltdown. She is a bit better now and I found that the best way to deal with it was to ignore the tantrum. Sometimes I'd shut the door on her so that she knew she didn't have an audience and give us all some peace! I'd go back when she calmed down and say " Are you ready to tidy up (or whatever) now?" Failing that I'd threaten to pu her to bed for a timeout.

I'd rejoice if it were just no . DC4 went straight onto "no way" and then added "me no like" - if really pressed I now get "me no care"

Usually offering 2 options "will you be tidying the cars or the food?" helps.

Short term - ignoring the strops and offering the two options works for us. "Are you going to brush your teeth, or am I going to do it for you?" And I just get on with brushing the teeth if she's non-compliant (yes, I'm horrible).

Longer term - they tend to reflect what they hear, so I'm trying to respond more positively having seen my DP's approach work. E.g The request for yet another story is responded to with "yes, lots more stories tomorrow, now it's sleepy time" instead of "no, it's sleepy time".

I don't know where he learnt this approach, but it makes me feel more positive about "being in charge" rather than just being a mum who says "no" all the time (it still gets said a lot though )

My kids have never gone through the NO stage and i wonder if it's because I rarely say NO to them. It's not a word banded about in my house. I use distraction or other ways of saying no.

My favorite technique is to tell them when they can actually do something or have something even if it's a long time off 'yes you can have xxx after tea'. That way its positive and not negative.

Also try pre-warning kids about what is coming next 'we have 5 mins to play and then when the egg timer alarm goes off, we need to put your shoes on to collect xxx' Stick to it.

Make what ever you need him to do make it fun. Do it in an crazy way. Have a laugh. Put upbeat music on for tidying and clear away ballet style!

If you ask him to do something, expect it to be done even after the tantrum. Otherwise he will learn that he will be able to throw himself about to get his own way.

Ignore any tantrums. Walk off.

Ah bugger I do all these things already as for ignoring the tantrum I've tried several times but he just gets more and more worked up. Yesterday I did find something that worked so going to try it again. Racing to see if we can tidy up before I finish the tidy up song. I'm sure it wont always work but at least it's another weapon.