ds1 is recently 5 and generally a well behaved pleasant boy. Lately he is getting difficult near bedtime and giving us loads of ´NO!!´s to whatever he is asked to do. I know it is normal and imagine there´s more going on in his head than we can understand, though no obvious triggers for change in behaviour except I guess he might be anxious about school finishing for summer and his friends all going off to do different things. My issue is how we deal with it. I tend to be quite firm I think (too much?) and the only way we resolve each obstacle is when it comes down to threats/ warnings and ´i will count to 3.. ´ he normally then gets upset, cries, does it and it is over until a couple of minutes later he will find a new thing to get upset about (tonight it was crying because i said it was fine if he didn´t want to finish his dinner but there would be nothing else.. because he wanted dessert.. then because i asked him to pick up his toys in the sitting room.. then because i wouldn´t carry him upstairs - I am not feeling well or I would have done - etc etc etc).
I know there are more softly softly approaches but if i cuddle him, try to talk about what´s bothering him it tends to make him act up even more, evidently enjoying the pandering. We always end with kisses and cuddles for bedtime and I always tell him he is loved and is a great boy but still..
so what do you do? This is fairly recent and I know we have gone through phases like this in the past but each time he is a bit older and I am always left feeling like there must be a better way to do it...