What do you do when your DC cries in the night?

[herethereeverywhere]

And it's not for food? My 4 month old DS has always slept in bed with me. I am now putting him in a cot in his own room which he will go down in fine but when he wakes he screams and I don't know how to comfort him :( I know it is not for a feed as he largely slept through when he was in with me but all he wants is boob ( am breast feeding ) and that's the only thing that calms him. But then he gets bad wind and stomach pains before throwing it up as he doesn't need the milk.
I can't keep bringing him into my bed as my DH is a noisy sleeper and disturbs him so we get no sleep.

Hope this makes sense. Feeling like a rubbish mum that I can't comfort him when he wakes :(

herethere you're not a rubbish mum or you wouldn't be worrying about it! Maybe your DS is waking distressed that you're not there, 4 mo is still very young. I think 4 months is also a time where their sleep patterns change and they can potentially wake more frequently. Your DS probably just wants to know you're there. Is it possible for you to sleep on the floor of the nursery for a night or two and see if that helps, you might be able to pat shh your ds to sleep. FWIW after moving DD into her own room at 2 months old, at 12 months old I moved into her room (mattress on the floor) and at 13 mo we moved her cot back into our room, now she is sleeping much better, doesn't need to cosleep and self settles very well. We will try and move the cot back in a month or so when we have caught up on sleep!

4 months is prime growth spurt time and even babies who slept 13 hours a night previously tend to start waking up more around this age.

If only te boob settles him then he's obviously hungry and it's perfectly normal for a child of this age to be having night feeds still.

I say just go with the flow, of that means having him back in your bed for an extra couple months then I'd do it.

And yes, if that meant DP sleeping elsewhere for the time being then so be it.

Thanks for all your replies. I'll have him back in with me for a bit then. Both my DM and DMiL think it's wrong to have a baby in bed with you. Have had a lot of 'he'll be there when he is 18' comments!

He is in his cot asleep now and has been there since 6 so I'll bring him in with me at first waking.

Tried having the cot in our room but he ended up in with me as he got disturbed by DH so thought putting him in his own room would help but clearly not!

Think I need to stop listening to relatives and just keep snuggling up to him at night in my bed

That's good, trust your instincts. Everyone will give you advice about what you should be doing but just because it's given doesn't mean you have to take it :)

DD is 23 months old and still comes into our bed when she is poorly.

DS did this when he was 4 months, going from waking up twice in the night to every hour. A lot of the time only having him in with us worked so I did it! He's 10 months now, sleeps much better (barring teething and colds etc) and for the most part in his own cot.

My DMum is the same about having babies in bed with you - 'ooooh it's a terrible habit, she'll be there when she's 7 blah blah blah' . I slept in bed with DD until she was about 9 months (whilst DH slept in the spare room) and then we started putting her to bed in her own room, then I would go in and get her in with me on her first waking (usually between 11.30pm and 1am). She would then stay in bed with me all night.

She's now 2 and sleeps all night in her own room (and has done for the past year, bar a few times when she has been poorly). I didn't have any trouble getting her to sleep in her own bed, you're not making a rod for your own back, your baby is still tiny and wants comfort and feeds in the night. DD fed 2 hourly at 4 months .

I reckon if you offer what your baby needs, the need will eventually fade as he gets older and grows out of wanting it. Last year when DD was really unwell, she slept in bed with me for I think 3 nights in a row until she was recovered. She went back to her own bed after that with no bother - she just wanted me more when she felt ill, and once she felt better she didn't need me all night any more.