Getting 17month old to stay in her cot!

[Moobelle]

I am desperately looking for some advice in getting my 17 month old to sleep in her own cot. She has recently been really poorly which led to me allowing her to sleep in our bed, she settles in her own bed fine but somewhere between 11 and 2 will wake and want to be in with us. Due to her illness she lost a large ammount of weight so I wasn't sure if she was hungry in the night which led to me giving her bottles although she is now eating normally she still demands a bottle to go back to sleep (in our bed) and sometimes wakes a few more times wanting the bottle to settle her each time! This has been going on for nearly 6 weeks now and none of us are getting enough sleep. I have no idea how to go about getting her back in her cot in the most painless way possible in addition to weaning her off the bottles - she's taking around 8oz through the night. If I try to give her the bottle and then settle her back in her own cot she screams hysterically and so I give in and put her in with us. Prior to being ill she was a pretty good sleeper and would rarely wake in the night. Do I just bite the bullet and do a few nights of controlled crying no bottles cold turkey or is that really cruel?

We had this trying to wean DS off co-sleeping and night feeds on demand. Your DD is well over a year so old enough to cope with sleep training.

What worked with us was giving a full feed as part of the bedtime routine, then just giving water when DS demanded a feed during the night. He soon decided that it wasn't worth it and gave up.

For the co-sleeping, we did two weeks of keeping his cot in our room, to get him used to sleeping by himself, then moved the cot into his own room.

Thanks, she does take a full feed (aroung 5oz) before bed so I am shocked that she can fit in another 8 throughout the night - at first I put it down to her being poorly and trying to regroup her stregnth (which may have been how it started) but she has been eating normally for two weeks so think it's just habit now.
Cot in our room would be a great idea but no way it would fit unfortunately. I will try just giving water as there really should be no reason for her needing an additional 8oz of milk. Think I know I have to toughen up and consistently settle her in her cot I'm just dreading hearing those heartbreaking cries in the night and resisting getting her out for a cuddle better. ALso in the short term at least it will probably mean even less sleep :(

Short-term but then you will all, including your DD, be much happier. There's no need to let her wail for hours on end either. Just go in, tell her that it's sleep time now, lie her back down if she's standing up, tell her you love her and wish her goodnight. Leave her 5 minutes and go back in if neccessary. Repeat x 50

If you're really soft then sing lullabies all night until she goes to sleep. Rather you than me though!

Whatever you do, the most important thing is to be consistent. Tough love the first time and getting in mummy and daddy's bed 5 times later is confusing and unkind.

You're right its far more unfair to be inconsistent I shall keep that in mind at 3am. I AM soft but not lullabies in the middle of the night soft! Im sure a simple "sleep time now" with a reassuring pat and swift exit will suffice

I am actually the Granny of a 2 1/2 year old who still sleeping in her parents' bed. She doesn't get put to bed either - falls asleep whilst being read to / watching children's TV or in the car. It all stems back to her mum going to full-time work when she was 7 months old (she didn't want to but her company refused her request for part-time work).

I find this very difficul to deal with when i have her to stay - we make a bed up on the floor next to our own bed and she sleeps in that. She does wake up but will settle again for at least a few hours.

My daughter is very defensive about it, and gets upset if i try to talk to her about it but she has another baby in 4 weeks time and I am very worried about how she will cope.

Any suggestions???

nicky what about making a big production/deal out of buying her a spanking new "big girls bed" thats a big gift from someone and is all hers type of thing?? something she might get excited about? my DS is 2 and a half and recently went from cot to bed and is soooooooo excited about is and cries "myyyy bed! myyy bed!" and leaps on it, we made a big deal about the transition and he was so excited about his fireman sam duvet and everything, its been a week and no problems. he's never co-slept with us mind you. but I honestly think at this age that they get fooled easily very excited about being treated to something that it might just work for you?? plus at this age its probably better for them to be in their own bed and room, but hey thats only my opinion... :)