ADHD query 4 yr old

[kizzie]

Hi everyone - some of you may have read about this in another thread. Basically my 4 yr old DS is not going to be allowed to be in his school play because he is being too naughty. (i saw them rehearse and he was being v silly / not sitting still etc.)
The teacher also said that she is watching him for ADHD. Although DS is a handful i have found this all very upsetting and wondered if anyone had any advice re. ADHD.

DS is doing v well with his numbers/letters/reading. (Much further ahead then his twin brother)

He lovew jigsaws and sport and spends hours doing both (hes good at cricket etc when hes out - always takes his turn to bowl etc. Doesnt mind being out)

However he does have temper tantrums still and if he isnt interested in something does seem to have difficulty applying himself to it. He also seems to have short bursts (say half hour or so) where he'll run around and be very very silly and seem a bit hyper.

Does this sound like ADHD? Id just be really interested to hear any views.

Thanks

Kizziex

Sounds pretty normal to me Kizzie! I wouldn't rush to get him labelled (I'm sure you're not ) - why not try and work out what frustrates him - sounds like he's highly intelligent and maybe he just gets a bit bored.

I agree with musica. My 4 year old sounds very much like this - he's quite able to play happily with his toys for long stretches of time - just sometimes gets over-excited and hyper. The over-excitement tends to happen with "special" activities or new things. Sleeps well too - 11-12 hours a night.

It sounds par for the course, Kizzie. My 7yo dd still has hyper moments but I truly don't think she's got adhd. She also has quiet sessions when she plays or reads. Little children just go mad at times, getting rid of energy, and this is a very exciting time of year for them, too!

I've lost the original thread kizzie, but it sounds like that teacher needs a copy of How To Listen So Kids Can Learn ... funnily enough one of the cartoon examples they use is of a kid messing around during rehearsals! Perhaps you could get it for her as a Christmas present

Only just finished reading it myself (having read the other books they've written in the series) and thinking back to the teachers that had an impact on my life seriously think that it should be compulsory reading matter for all in teacher training...

Sorry to veer off topic on the wrong thread. Your little boy sounds like a real cutie

kizzie- parents of ADHD children may correct me- but the ADHD children I have known at 4 have been horrendously hard work. The parents are usually climbing the walls wondering what's going on. A lot of children with ADHD are very destructive as well. Sleep problems would be common- especially getting to sleep and many children with ADHD need melatonin.

Your description does not sound like a child with ADHD. TBH I think the teacher is bang out of order, these comments should not be dropped into conversation- if your child did have ADHD then it would need to be handled more sensitively.

kizzie, have read the other thread and really, really don't think that it's ADHD. I agree with Jimjams, the teacher was out of order to spring it on you like this. If she did think it then she should have talked about it at a proper meeting, not just a throw away comment at a time of stress. I am appalled that she is being so mean about the play and seems to be transferring her insecurities onto your DS. My DS is in a very similar situation and is behaving very similarly (see my thread this week about Bored Boy), and I have been trying my best to help him.

I have recently taken him off all the enumbers that the Hyperactive Childrens Society recommend that hyperactive children should be taken off and have found a big difference in him - and this is not just my perception, several parents of his friends have commented positively on this, and he is less prone to manic-ness, although I think some at this age should be expected. I mean just how frustrating must it be to have loads of energy and be expected to sit still in a classroom and listen to something you already know when you are a bright little thing - like your DS sounds.

If you want a copy of the list of enumbers I've got please email me as I have put it onto my pc so I can print out thousands of copies for friends and relatives so we can actually go visiting people!!

I hope that you are feeling better about your DS, childcare/education professionals can make you feel very inadequate when there is no need for it and make you doubt your own judgement and parenting skills (trust me I am an expert at that!!!!). You know him best and it sounds like he is getting a real rough deal because his teacher can't cope with a bright child who isn't compliant - all schools are now supposed to have a policy for bright and gifted children (ie the top 5-10%) so you could ask about this and if your child is being assessed under these criteria?? HTH

Thankyou so much everyone - I really do appreciate your advice. Im afrid I havent handled it very well and havent been able to sleep for 2 nights and ended up having a panic attack last night - just felt so sorry for him and very guilty that I'd sent him to such a high achieving school.
I sat down quietly with him yesterday and asked why he had been so silly in the play and his answer was because another little boy had been naughty and was now able to play at the front with a train and he (DS) thought the play was sill7y and that hed rather play with the toys!
(The other little boy does have some problems - but again I really didnt agree with him being pulled out - if he was good enough to sit and play quietly with trains at the front surely they could have stuck a tea towel on his head and let him sit with some toys with the other children just so he wasn't 'cast out'. (anyone who reads this who knows me will know who I am immediately from this post.)
Anyway I really would like the list of foods - think that might be a big help! - Just need to work out how to email on here.
Thanks again everyone.
Kizziex
)

Sorry - meant to say will definately take a look at that book you've recommended Georgina!
Thanks
Kizziex

God what school is this kizzie? I really disagree with pulling kids out of their first nativity. I didn't expect the school to include my son in his, but they have- I'm sure they run a risk that it will be too much and he will "ruin" the play (can you ruin a naivity full of 4 year olds) but he will just be taken out if its too much.