I am freaking out about DS late speech

[ancienthistrionics]

I have been very calm and understand children develop at different rates but have just been having a google (i know I know) and I'm so worried I may have been slow off the mark getting help and affected his later development.
DS is 2.8, very tall and strong, physically quite advanced, dextrous. He is incredibly expressive, can joke, understands everything we say and seems to know how words work - his understanding vocabulary is pretty wide. But he can only say hat, cheese, mummy, up there, door, eye, bye, hi. Some other things we can teach him to say but he won't say them ever again. Most other things have a sign or a noise, like slurping for milk (slight variation for ice cream), whirling his fingers for helicopter. I can give him instructions, i.e. go to the office and ask daddy for his phone or don't touch anything in the shop etc. and he will always get it right. If he doesn't understand, he looks at me for more info.

If he wants something he finds a picture in his book to show me. He won't say yes, but will always say eeeeeee mummeee, and dee for me. he mimics our sounds well, but it's like he doesn't want to talk.

He is very gregarious and always makes a little friend in the park. He gestures lots and has a massive range of facial expressions.

I have booked a session with a speech and language therapist which is next week but I'm just having a massive worry now.

how does this sound? Does anyone have any experience? He doesn't go to nursery, DP and I both work from home and also have a 14 yo.

I don't HV start worrying about speech until 3 do they, but in my experience that would be a slight delay.

Even my son, who struggled with speech but was like your son very bright, was speaking in sentences by that age. He wasn't always very clear at that age but he did speak in sentences. My daughters have all been very early and competent speakers but I'm not sure that's very comparable. DD3 is 2.9 and has a very wide vocabulary and very good sentence construction and is clear in her speech.

Personally I think you are right to have booked a speech therapy session. My friend had to do this with her very bright DS who was still very difficult to understand at over 3. He had a year of speech therapy and caught up entirely. Speech difficulties occur in children of all abilities.

I mean how your son currently expresses himself would be a delay afaic.

Thanks Duchesse. I think I have had my head in the sand a bit, because he is clearly not autistic and his hearing seems fine. I waited for hours for an appt with the HV in London to get a referral when he was 2 but it never came through and then we moved cities.

He doesn't use any sentences or try to speak, so it's not even that he's unclear. His words are over-enunciated, like it's a game.

But the other day he fell off the climbing frame and another lady picked him up (I was gassing and didn't see it happen ) and he related the whole incident to DP with actions, the fall, the other lady cuddling him, the dramatic eyes searching for me etc. His speech isn't improving week by week, I can't remember the last time he added a new word.

The only thing I can think is that I always know what he means so he doesn't bother. Last weekend we have family over and he wanted my DN to do something and was heard to say 'make it max'. But if I ask him to talk he wags his finger at me, as if to say, I don't talk, remember. Agh, I'll never forgive myself if I've delayed his development.

Ancient my DD2 is a bit younger (2.4) but showing the same. The peadiatrician said that she is clearly delayed in speech but she is not worried, she thinks that she will be one of those kid who will speak in sentence straight away... . When with friends of mine she did speak for them to understand, if they are very stubborn, but won't repeat at home.

They start referring at 3+ here, but no big waiting as in the UK, IYSWIM, IMO they get panicky early unnecessarily in the UK because of the huge waiting lists.

1st calm down it is nothing to do with you, I don't think you can "create" a delay unless your DS is lock in a room on his own all day.
2nd I am considering putting DD2 in nursery with unfamiliar people who don't "understand" her "own language", because she does communicates very well with us and we do understand.
Do you have a play school he can go to next to you (a few mornings to start with?)

Thanks, LeMousq. Everyone says to me the same thing, he will come out with some amazing subordinate clause etc. I sent him to nursery one day a week last year and they said he doesn't talk but they had no concerns and he always knew how to tell them what he wanted. Sly!

It's funny your DD will also come out with words with other adults.

I think we will definitely send him to nursery when he's three. He is a September baby so ages before he can go to preschool.

I am a bit calmer now. We're paying for a private consultation so at least we'll know where we stand a bit more. I read online today that it can be a sign of linguistic ability (we are both linguists) so that cheered me up a bit!

Sounds like you are doing the right thing, getting a speech therapist to help. Does sound like a delay but hopefully with the right help he can catch up- some children seem to talk much better nearer 3 but I can see that you want to be sure there are no other issues- have you had his hearing checked?

He sounds exactly like my DS, he started writing messages to me when he was three rather than speak. He is now 11 has no problems gained a place at super selective grammar.

In the end I had to pretend I didn't know what he wanted, he started talking when he started play group but only to adults.

This could be my son. Exactly alike in every way and he is one month older. We have already seen a SALT for assessment and been through ENT (He had frequent bouts of glue ear but this isn't the reason he doesn't talk) and it seems he has some expressive delay. We are on the waiting list for treatment but I honestly think he is quite stubborn. He understands everything.

I've worried myself sick over it. When I see other boys and girls, often much younger than him, speaking in full sentences I visibly crumple a bit and wonder what I did wrong . I worry that people think I plonk him in front of the tv all day and don't interact with him and that is why he doesn't talk. But speech delay happens. A lot. Most people I speak to about it have a story about an incredible non-speaking child and they all catch up eventually.

I hope I'm being reassuring. Just wanted you to know we are in the same position.

My bil calls my son Bam-Bam... He is most helpful.

I wonder if he communicates so well he doesn't see the need to speak?

My dm used to talk about a friend/cousin (can't remember which) where the older girl (2years older) interpretted everything her younger brother indicated. He didn't speak until he was separated from her for a week when he was well past 3 yo. Then he spoke immediately as you'd expect a 3yo to speak.

When I saw the thread title I was a bit worried you were going to say he was 11 months old and only knew 29 words...

tal I think DS is stubborn too. SOmetimes I ask him to say a word and he wags his finger at me, or he just says something that is the word in blah blah, if you know what I mean.

Dewe there is an element of that, for sure.

We have friends staying at the moment and the daughter can understand lots of things I thought were just gibberish, though. We were out yesterday and he said look mummy, wait, and a couple of other things, so perhaps I just need to listen more closely and keep repeating it back.

It is gutting when other friends kids are coming out with sentences, but anecdotally everyone does know a late-speaking child (usually a boy too )
THe speech therapist is coming tomorrow, so I will update.

Nutty that is amazing that he wrote you messages! Glad to know it wasn't any indicating of future achievement.

Yes we have the "blah blah" type of answers too, usually "ee ee ee" or "da da" or he just says "No!" and shakes his head. If I ask him if he can talk he usually replies with a firm no. Sigh.

Although sometimes I wonder if he thinks he is actually talking clearly when he makes those sounds? He makes certain noises for things as a younger child would eg "goo" is "milk" and I wonder if I am just not picking up on a lot of it.

Please do let us know how he gets on with the speech therapist. I will check back for news. Really hope the meeting goes well for you and ds.

Have you had his ears checked? My DS has very few words and is the same age. I would describe him excatly as you have your DS. He has severe glue ear which hasn't improved in 18months of 'watchful waiting' so we've now agreed to grommets.

So fed up with people telling me he'll suddenly start using full sentences any day.

My DD was like this. Only one word at 2.6, and that was it for 6 months. Very expressive, and communicative in fact, but not verbally.

She did start speaking in full sentences as it happens. Pretty indistinct at first, but by 4 very fluent.

She is, to be honest, not quite as other children are. But her expressive language is excellent

No-one's mentioned the old 'Einstein didn't speak till he was three' chestnut yet? I know people are trying to help when they tell me this but that one is wearing thin now.
Hope the assessment provides some reassurance.

Oh! I had assumed the OP checked the hearing. DD2 had hers checked and is perfect. So we are assuming stubborness, multilinguism and personal interests. She shows no sign of other SN, well the pead. is not worried yet: but she has warn me that DD2 will probably be still behind at school age.

Stranger is was supposed to be 5 years and there is no historical evidence of it. Would you rather that everybody tells you your DC must be deaf or autistic? I have almost everyday "what is wrong with her?" (she is a size of a 4 yo).
The fallen reassuring to hear.

OP I hope the consultation will put your mind at rest, mine did (for now).

I had his hearing checked by a doctor friend (whose own child has just got grommets) but to be frank I would like a more experienced doctor to check. His hearing seems perfect though, he always hears me even when facing away or upstairs etc. turkeyboots did you ever have the idea he wasn't hearing you well, before the hearing test?

I met a S&L therapist informally at a toddler group and she spent a few minutes with DS and said, no concerns, he was fine and would just talk a bit later.

I will update later.

I had some concerns about his hearing after he totally freaked out when a dog ran past him. I could hear the dog coming (panting, nails clacking on concrete) but DS clearly didn't. It's clear now when he doesn't hear something, but until recently had to tell if he was just ignoring me or not.

Also DS is starting to get very frustrated by not being able to be understood, which was a sign to me that we had to do something. But his nursery Senco who is very experienced has repeatedly told us not to worry as he seems fine to her. So it was hard to follow our gut feelings on this when everyone, except ENT consultant tell you its fine.

To rule out glue hear you need a proper hearing test and thingy which tests ear drum function. Your HV can refer you for tests.

Ds1 was similar to this - talked very late, made no animal noises or anything but then started with sentences and no baby talk. The other two who talked earlier had long phases of baby talk which drove me spare - I much prefered silence then sensible sentences!

By 4 he had the most advanced speech in his nursery class (I asked about how his speech compared to his peers to be sure he had caught up before a HV meeting and this is what they said and were amazed he was a late speaker)

I wasn't worried about his lack of speech so just waited until it happened, and like you had had an informal comment from a S&L person that he would be fine so made me even more relaxed. She did suggest I force him to speak as he got older - make him ask things by giving a choice of juice or milk etc and get him to have a word for each (even if not correct) or offer chocolate but only give it for a yes. Luckily about the time I started to do this - I guess at about 2 year 10 months he started to talk.

He is now 12 at selective independent and never stops talking or singing and a pretty good debater so the late start hasn't held him back!

Hi OP, I think you are doing the right thing. The Salt will be able to assess you Ds and will probably refer for hearing tests. Please don't worry that any thing you have or haven't done has affected you Ds.

Dd2 has language delay and speech disorder and first saw a SALT for assesment when she was around 3 years old, when I began to worry that she would need help to catch up in her speech and language for school. We had rounds of hearing tests and assesments with the community paediatrician to check all areas of her development.

We are still having regular sessions with the SALT now as she is still requires help, she will be 5 this week. As with your son she understand every thing you say and has receptive language understnding of a 6 yo, at her last assesment.

She is doing perfectly well at school (reception year) and is learnng to read and write on par with her peers, even though when she reads her pronounciation is affected by the speech disorder. She is a very sociable little girl and has loads of friends who just accept her for who she is!

For a while I felt that the sessions were not much use for Dd2, but it helped me to understand how speech and language develop and gave me techniques to try and help her at home. We have made progess recently as she has got to the age where she is aware that she sounds different to the other children and wants to correct it. I think doing phonics at school has also helped.

Best of luck with everything.

two with delayed language here.

buy yourself a copy of "It Takes Two to Talk" the speech therapist will vouch for it. search for it here on mumsnet. it will show you how to develop your techniques a bit more.

can I also recommend the 'sookie and finn' DVDs which are a simple cartoon made by speech therapists, somehow they make the kids repeat what they are saying like a game? we found them really useful when our DS didnt have more than a couple of words at nearly 2 :) anythings worth a try that might help, mine seemed to find a confidence in pronouciation from it. FWIW my DH didnt say a word until the age of 3 and a bit apparently according to his family (who have only just told me this!) and he's not been affected by it, is very garrulous, talented and opiniated, and a songwriter...