Is it a cop out to use a sleep consultant for dd2 (7.5mths)?

[DougiesMum]

We're at the end our tethers here. Dd goes down fine, then wakes file a feed at 2 or 3am, goes back to sleep again but then wakes at 4.30/5am and that's it, she's awake! Tried putting her down early (5.45pm), later (7.30pm) but nothing works. And now our ds (2yrs 4mths) is waking at 5.30am because of the noise! It's been going on for about 3 months and we're all exhausted.

We used a sleep consultant with ds at 18 months with the same issue because i was pregnant and knackered all the time and wanted to get the problem sorted before the baby arrived and I'm really tempted to call her again. But would this mean that I'm being pathetic about the whole thing? Should I just grin and bear it? I'd like to know what others think about using professional help with these types of things.

Right, got and see ds who's been whining for 20 mins to get up!

Does it matter if it's a cop out? If you are struggling then why not get help? I like you sometimes think I should be able to grin and bear things but maybe that's not always the healthy thing to do?
If you can afford a sleep consultant and it was helpful last time then what the heck! I sometimes fantasise about a night nanny but don't suppose it will really happen :) I'm bf dd2 (3 weeks) anyway!
Good luck with whatever you decide - sleep deprivation is the worst but maybe we'll look back in a few years and laugh

Speaking as someone who has been awake since 4:45 I say if it's an option for you then do it. There's no need to be a martyr to sleeplessness! It's not pathetic to want be able to function and you have nothing to feel guilty about.

It you can afford it, have done it before with good results and are happy then go for it.

Be aware that the techniques for a younger baby are likely to be quite different and it may not be as quick/dramatic.

It's not a cop out, obviously- but I'm not sure what she could do qt this age.

You've presumably tried taking her into bed with you the minute she wakes and stuffing her with milk?

To be honest it sounds perfectly normal for a 7.5 month old. Both mine were doing this at this age - they sleep later as they get older. We were all up at 5.30 this morning. I just get a lot done before work and go to bed early.

I honestly can't even imagine what a sleep consultant could do with a 7.5 month old to change their sleep. My son certainly was still on occasion getting up for a feed at that age and I think quite a lot of babies are.

If you have the money, sure, why not, good luck.

But I wouldn't expect much.

Tbh this is what my DS did at the same age, although he was usually ok in his cot, wasn't crying and would sometimes go back to sleep after 30 mins. Or sometimes i'd feed him and put him back down for another hour or two. Eventually something just clicked and he was doing 7 till 7 or thereabouts. So it could be perfectly normal. However, if you're at the end of your tether then you need to do anything you think is right.

Assuming you've tried blackout blinds, moving her morning nap back and cutting the length of it? And exposing her to evening daylight might also help (taking her for a walk for example).

I came on here to say no, go for it - I am all for buying in professional help if you can afford it. But actually, you might find that you're wasting your money - your DD doesn't sound that bad, and this might just be her pattern until she gets a bit bigger?

We used a sleep consultant for DS1 at 6 months - he went from being a dreadful sleeper (13 wake ups the first night we kept a sleep diary) to a 7-7 baby who took great naps, in about 3 weeks. He has been fab ever since (now almost 4).

We also used the same sleep consultant with DS2 when he was 7.5 months - he was never as bad as DS1, but was still waking 3+ times a night. The sleep consultant did help a bit, but he didn't suddenly start sleeping though, unfortunately. He was doing pretty much what your DD is doing - settling fine, but still waking up (DS1's issue had been that he couldn't self settle or sleep in his own cot). Overall I think we probably wasted our money with DS2. The slight improvement that we saw was pretty much negated by illness, teething etc over the next few months. Now, at 13 months, he's still up once during the night and then for the day between 5.30 and 6. I think this is just him, not sure that there's anything else we can do!

All of this said, I wasn't prepared to try CC or anything too harsh, so this might colour the results which we got.

What did the sleep consultant do, wheniwas?

seeker - with DS2 we cut down night BFs by timing them. He was having 3+ full feeds to start with (about 10 minutes), DH had to sit there with a stop watch each night and take a minute off his feed time every second night, so 2 nights of 9 minutes, 2 nights of 8 minutes etc. This part worked quite well, in that once we got down to 2 minutes he started waking a bit less - maybe twice as opposed to 3/4 times, and didn't want fed (was happy with DH instead of me). We introduced a 10.30 dream feed at the same time.

With DS1 we didn't do the cutting down feeds thing as he was waking and feeding for a minute or two just to get back of to sleep, so they thought not really taking anything?

With both boys, when they woke (after a feed with DS2, who was not to be allowed to fall asleep feeding) we did gradual retreat to get them to settle - so cuddle to sleep (instead of feeding) for DS1 for a few nights, then (this is where we started with DS2) sit by the cot stroking them, then sit next to cot but no touching, then moving the chair towards the door. This worked really well for DS1 but DS2 seemed fairly unaffected by it. I think the difference was that he already knew how to self settle, and wasn't particularly looking for help to get back to sleep, he just wanted to be awake for a bit!

Sounds normal for a 7.5 month old. I don't think a sleep consultant would be able to do much at this age.

Could he be having too much day time sleep?
With ds1 it was a self settling issue so we did sleep training, with ds2 it was growth spurts and ds3 had too much day time sleep and too much milk at night.

I remember a phase DS went through at exactly that age. I realised I was putting him to sleep far too early. So, if they sleep lets say 11 hours, then the very best to hope for is a wake time of 6.30am when you put her to sleep at 7.30pm.

I thought the same as you - that putting to bed later wasn't having an effect, until I persevered a few nights. When DS woke at 5am, I would just lay him down/tuck him in and say 'back to sleep' (whatever you like to say, firmly and quietly), then go. The habit needs to be broken, and after a few days it was broken. Thank god! It was hell.

Though it did take a lot longer before he was sleeping through with no bf. At 15m, he now goes 8pm-7am with a bf at 6am and I'm happy with that.

You sound really tired and I don't blame you. My DD did this for a little while and I was quite consistent in not picking her up at 5am. Eventually she stopped. Having said that every child is different and I would not go by what is 'normal' or not at this stage. If you feel that you want to get some advice and are OK with the cost then why not? There is always a risk that it may not work but if you feel you want to try it - just go for it!

My 8 month old does this - over the past couple of weeks she's gone from waking 2-3 times during the night and having milk - I'd get her from her cot at the 1:30am waking and co-sleep the rest of the night. She then seemed to start dropping one of the feeds, so last Friday we put her in her own room.

After the second night she has woken up once on a couple of the nights, but DH has been able to settle her and then she's slept through to 5-ish at which point I just bring her into bed with me, she has her feed and goes back to sleep until 6:30 - 7.

I think it's pretty common at this age. As someone up the thread suggested, have you tried giving her some milk and putting her back down or bringing her into bed with you rather than getting up? I think if you do this, or at the very least let them sit on your bed while you doze, it teaches them that it is too early to get up, whereas if you get up for the day with them, they get used to it and build it into their routine.

Well, I did CC at 8 months as I was a zombie so I say do what you need to do!!!

Sleeplessness is hell, do whatever it takes to get more zzzz. Your consultant worked before, I'm sure she'd work again. Using a person is no different from using techniques set out in a book - definitely not a cop out.
Go for it and good luck.

Go for it. But have you tried playing around with daytime naps first? when dd did this at 6mo we had to cut down morning nap to 40mins and mive it back to 9.15ish. Was painful for a few days but then it worked like a charm!!