Please tell me not to worry

[musica]

I'm getting myself all stressed about dd - she is 4 months now, and making no cooing noises whatsoever. She has always been really good and placid - has slept through the night from being very young, will sit and amuse herself for a bit, smiles away at people. But, she is silent, apart from crying and laughing. I spoke to the HV on Tuesday, and she said to spend a fortnight really doing one to one eye contact and talking (just a bit each day) and see if that helps. But I'm getting myself all worked up. She passed the newborn hearing test they do, and I'm just really worried she might have some sort of communication disorder.

Now I know I'm probably worrying too much, and reading too much on the internet. But those of you who have children with communication problems - could you either reassure me, or not! The key things are the lack of noises she makes. She generally makes very good eye contact, and smiles readily when I smile at her. Also, being very 'good' - this is sometimes a symptom isn't it? She is picking things up and playing with them now, and she tends to respond to noises - not always though. She also seems to be sensitive to tone of voice - jumps if I'm cross with ds, and will be comforted if I speak soothingly.

I've skirted round this a bit on other posts - sorry to be repetitive but I'm getting myself in a real state of worry and anxiety.

Hi musica, I'm probably not much help but I thought I might be able to reassure you in that my dd (now 6.5 months) is a very 'quiet' baby. She does 'talk' a little bit but normally when she is getting tired. I have worried about this too and have asked several people, including my mum who told me I was a very quiet baby too (which is very hard to believe now as I do tend to speak non-stop now!) and the general feeling I get is not to worry as some babies are just more vocal than others. My wee lass has always been a very placid contented baby so maybe its just going to be their manner. Equally my sil son who is now nearly 5 never shut up as a baby but now is going to a speech therapist as real words are still a bit difficult for him, so I am tending to take the attidute that I'm not going to worry about should it be a problem as she gets older worry then.

My daughter was a quiet soul too. She only really started doing that babbling stuff at 7-8 months and now she's a real little chatterbox though still has quiet days. I used to feel when she was little that sometimes I could forget she was there as she used to sit in her bouncy chair watching me potter around, quiet as a mouse. At 4 months I really truly wouldn't worry. But I know you will because I'm a worrier and worry about every little thing too!

I have 2 boys. Ds1 is 3.5yrs and is autistic. Ds2 is 10mths and I'm 99% sure that he is fine. Both were very easygoing at 4mths and both seemed to have somewhat selective hearing. Ds2 tends not to be bothered by familiar loud noises. The banging of the door (courtesy of ds1) doesn't bother him. An unexpected sneeze will make him howl. The big difference for us was that ds2 was 1000 times more 'interactive' than his brother. Ds2 loves playing singing games. He is happiest when he has company, He loves it when people show him how to play with toys. He's happy to be by himself for a little while but then gets bored. Ds1 disliked anyone playing on the floor with him, and generally preferred his own company. He was very smiley and rarely cried. I think 4 months is maybe a little too early to tell. I suppose my (long-winded) point is that a baby can be very quiet and placid without there necessarily being a problem. However, I still worried about both of them! I've always thought that if ds1 had been our 2nd child we would have noticed his problems much sooner.

I wouldn't worry about lack of noise at 4 months! be grateful! The "classic" autistic symptom at 4 months is arching the back when picked up. DS1 never did this though. He was also quite chatty at that age, and was very "good". However I don't think he was autistic at 4 months so I guess that's irrelevent. Although he did take an intense interest in ceilings from a young age so who knows. Also the majority of autistic babies- are not "good" they scream!

DS2 is now 23 months and definitely not autistic. I seem to remember he was pretty quiet - and in fact his 8 month check was repeated as he wasn't babbling much. He still seems to have a speech sound problem- but he doesn;t have a language problem or a communication disorder. I did watch him like a hawk from birth but it was hard to tell when younger. I only really relaxed at 12 months when he started pointing. I began t relax at 4 months when he copied me pressing a button. DS1 still can't copy at 4.

I think you're getting hung up on one symptom tbh- when every child will show at least one symptom of autism. DS2 lines everything up (I think he's making trains) His autistic brother doesn't line anything up. And in moderation you don't have an autistic child you have a gifted one (seriously look at the lists!) It's only when you get a whole sackful of autisms that you have a problem.

If there was a problem I would think it would be more of a hearing one- has she had glue ear?

Thanks! I will try not to worry - I am a worrier by nature, and tend to construct entire scenarios in my head on a little evidence (e.g. dh an hour late home, I think he's dead in a car accident and start imagining explaining to ds).

You have all really reassured me, and I'm spending lots more time talking to dd as well. Jimjams - I totally know what you mean about one symptom - a very good friend of mine is getting her son assessed for autism at the moment, and I said I would look up some info for her - so I had the list of symptoms in front of me, including lining things up, went back into room where ds was to find he had lined all his cars up very neatly!

Thank you all for taking the time to reply! It is much appreciated.