Baby MORE Difficult from 12 weeks?

[pommedechocolat]

DD2 is 14 weeks and the last three weeks have been the most difficult so far with her. I was not expecting this!

Dd1 did the 'normal' sleeping more from 12 weeks thing and napping consistently in the day more from the same time - she was on formula from 7 weeks though. DD2 is ebf.

She won't nap, doesn't sleep, won't settle and I am struggling! She also likes to snack every hour rather than do any form of feeding timetable (I'm not expecting anything regular just not so full on as a newborn maybe). She also never seems to know when a feed has finished iyswim??

Has anyone else had baby become demon baby from 12 weeks instead of getting better? What am I doing wrong? Is it being ebf? I don't believe in bf enough to put up with this and be a shit mum to dd1 because of it.

Help?!

I read your title and thought "YES!!!"

I don't know if it's ebf as DS is my first, but he was ebf and I found the first 2 months surprisingly easy. The 3rd month got tricky and then 4 - 6 months were awful because he was (and still is) a bad sleeper and hated being put down. But he also has reflux and we moved house when he was 4 months so it could be related to that!

From reading a lot on mumsnet (desperately trying to find a solution for the sleeping) I don't think it's related to being breastfed. I think all babies are just different.

2 of my friends had firstborns who were rubbish sleepers but second borns who are a dream and who slept through the night easily - yet all babies were bottle fed...

Sorry if my post hasn't helped - I've got no advice really and as I find breastfeeding easy and I enjoy it it never crossed my mind to stop. I just thought DS was (and is) a bad sleeper/clingy baby. Plus we tried giving the bottle when I went back to work and DS hates it.

Thanks Bartimosaurus - I think you're right, it's a sleeping thing not a feeding thing - sometimes I cling to the idea of ff as an 'easy' solution! She won't take a dummy so prob won't take a bottle either.

With second you can't sleep when they sleep either so I am permanently cross eyed with tiredness!

Yes, us too.. I remember feeling as you describe as everyone says it gets better after 12 weeks, but dd just seemed to get crankier. I'd say that between about 3 and 5 months was the most difficult time, she screamed a lot, had phases of being fussy about feeding, didn't sleep much - a couple of catnaps on me in the day and total 6-8 hours at night (in 2 hour chunks), tops. I had days where I'd end up in tears as I just couldn't seem to make her happy and it was so relentless.

You're not doing anything wrong, but yes it is really hard. If you have a library near you see if they have Dr Sears' 'fussy baby book' or google 'Dr Sears high need baby' for some of it online. Reading that made me feel much better as it made me think that it was dd's personality and not just my rubbish mothering!

Dd settled a lot around 5 months and then more so when she could sit around 6 months. Breastfeeding got a lot easier and quicker at the same time. She is now 14 months old (and going through another difficult phase but that's another story), inquisitive, energetic, hardly sleeps in the day (but does sleep really well at night now), and still pretty highly strung, but gorgeous.

Any chance this is the 12 week (or so) growth spurt? It really screwed up my DS. I used Tizzie Hall Save Our Sleep to get him on a regular feed (EBF) and sleep schedule. We started around 4 months and about 2-3 months later he was napping regularly and sleeping the magic (sanity saving) 7-7.
TH has a website. If you like I can repost something I posted for another m/netter about TH. She's a first timer like I was and I don't want to teach you to suck eggs!

Yes I was thinking high needs too. Ours was like that and got happier and happier when he could sit, crawl etc.

Still a challange on the sleep and feeding front (sorry) so you need to work on ways to survive - get people to help, prioritise sleep and space for yourself etc.

By the time she is 4 or 5 months she will most likely manage several hours apart from you without a feed, don't be fooled by the fact she will feed all the time if you are there, she can actually go longer than 45 mins by that age!