Stupid questions about How do you teach a baby to use cutlery.....i don't get how!

[cheesenpickle]

My DS has just turned one and was blw- not sure if that makes any difference though. He eats with his hands and im keen to get him onto cutlery. So i have started putting all his food onto a spoon or fork and handing it to him to feed himself so he can practice getting the utensil into his mouth. Im not sure how to progress though. i have tried showing him a few times but he just hands the cutlery back to me (he is going through a stage of picking up objects and handing them to people so that might be connected?). So how we get him to try and put the food on the spoon/ fork by himself? Hes at nursery 4 days a week so doesn't really see people eating daily with cutlery either (hes in baby room and they are all younger than him).

Any ideas would be great- thanks.

I think this is one of those things that they pick up gradually by watching you. We used to give DS a teaspoon from when he was about 1. Sometimes he used it, sometimes he used his fingers. Sometimes we used it to feed him. Gradually he started to take the initiative more and would use it in preference to us feeding him. When he was about 18 months I gave him a fork as well. From about 2 he used knife/fork/spoon though it's only since he turned 3 that he's really using the knife in a meaningful way. We make sure we all eat meals together (apart from his 2 lunches per week at nursery) so he sees how we use our cutlery at close quarters.

I wouldn't worry about it - he'll get it in the end.

I think they pick it up by watching you, but it may be a long time before they actually want to use it.

DS can use a fork and spoon but rarely uses cutlery to eat (though he often uses a spoon for yoghurt). However, he can use a knife to butter bread and can chop soft fruit/veg/cheese when helping me to cook. We did BLW too and have never 'taught' him, though he eats all his meals with us. He's 2.5 years.

Forks are much easier to learn than spoons IMO.

Put the fork in his hand, and hold your hand over his. Stab the food for him, and keep doing it, gradually giving less help. And of course, go nuts and tell him how clever he is.

It happens gradually. With my 3 I gave them a spoon from well before 1yr, but not much happened to it (except being chucked on the floor), soon they wanted a spoon in both hands with which to poke the food and throw it across the room and I would have a third spoon with which to shovel spoonfuls into their mouths whilst they played and fiddled with their two spoons! DD2 was very capable of feeding herself from soon after 1 yr, but then DD1 (who was 2 yrs older) reverted to wanting to be fed as she was jealous, so I was feeding the 3 yr old and 1 yr old was feeding herself. Same thing happened when I had DS and DD2 reverted to wanting to be fed whilst DS happily shoveled food in with his spoon. They just get there. I wouldn't worry too much. Have plenty of spoons / forks on the table and eventually they will get used. Also like you I would load up a spoon or fork and pass it to them, they would put it in while I loaded the next spoon and then swapped with them for the empty one, in time they start to do it themselves.

It's not something you can really teach, just be patient. 1 is still very young. Ds is 2.5 and is just about using a fork and spoon properly when he wants to, hands are quicker though!

There is plenty of time to master such skills!

I disagree that it is not something that you can teach. Just do as colditz suggests and show/help - by 18 months most children will be able to have a good go at feeding themselves with cutlery.

I disagree completely that you can't teach it. Of course you can, as soon as the child is ready. Ds2 used a fork competently at 9 months old, because ds1 still needed a lot of help and wasn't capable of holding a fork well enough to self feed. It's much easier to help two than to help one and feed one.

Thanks for the replies, i guess i need to perservere.I think when i gave him the loaded fork and tried to help him stab the next bit of food he just wanted to hand the fork back to me. When i put the empty fork in his hands he looked at me with a ' what are you doing face' and handed it straightback to me! He then got frustrated and started using his hands, i didn't really want it turning into a battle/ big deal. I guess i need to talk to nursery so they do the same thing as me, i thinking i will try gently guiding as colditz suggested and see how it goes.

Start with a spoon and let them watch you, then let them play with it... Doesn't have to be at meal times with food, could be with dried lentils or anything fun.

It takes time. I have had to teach my son because he showed no inclination to attempt it on his own, at 18 months I took the initiative and started doing what Colditz says. 3 months on he gets it with a fork if I help him, but spoons get flung still.

Someone on here told me it took her a good six months constant practice for their toddler to become halfway competent.

I wouldn't worry as he goes to nursery - they will start encouraging him to use cutlery once he is in the toddler room and ime they will be feeding themselves with cutlery by the time they are 2ish. The nursery staff will have lots of experience teaching/encouraging cutlery use.

both dds were BLW
dd1 took to cutlery
dd2, at 19mo, has not.
she currently handles her own loaded fork, and we guide her to prong/scoop stuff, given the choice she would still use fingers, but i think she's now of an age when she can at least have a go with a fork.

I always held cutlery in my hands and theirs as Colditz said.
A bit of a drag actually. But i thought it would show them how to do it.
Mine likes to stab, but (2 yrs old) gets bored and uses his fingers after a while.

The earlier you start letting thm play with spoons etc the quicker they will immitate you. I gave DS a bowl and spoon when he was 4m and ebf but he would sit with us at meals. At 5m he was putting it in his mouth pre loaded with food but it would go all over his eyes, cheek, ear etc. He has improved and at 8m uses a spoon well and it generally goes straight in mouth (with hardly any retching from shoving it too far in any more) He is now playing with forks so will see where we go from here.
Make sure there is no pressure and lots of encouragement, get them to feed you mouthfulls too.

Just another question......when i put food onto a loaded spoon he flips the spoon over as he puts it in his mouth. This means a lot of the time the food falls off (some meals more than others depending what the food is!) unless he manages to put the spoon completely in before he flips it over. To stop him flipping it I would have to hold on to the spoon and feed him which feels a bit of a backward step when he can feed himself (sort of!) Any suggestions correct him or let him work it out for himself??

Let him work it out - my ds also did this for ages

The spoon thing is definitely par for the course. He'll get it eventually

It is annoying to watch but he will work it out. Mine spent ages pushing the food off the spoon with his thumb before putting spoon in mouth. I shove a few spoonfuls in every now and again so I know some has gone in but he has really improved with practice.

My DS is in exactly the same place. I feed him half his cereal or whatever and then stand behind him and hold his hand with the spoon in and help him scoop out the food and guide it to his mouth. It helps to say 'scoop' in a playful voice as he thinks it's hilarious and knows it's an instruction. Over a couple of weeks I have had to do less gripping and guiding, he is getting the hang of it although still turns the spoon round in his mouth. He was also BLW so there is obviously hope for us all!