we are on holiday so out of routine, but after a couple of weeks of really good behaviour, where I thought DD was really coming to grips with the arrival of her sister, we are back to leaning, squeezing, hitting with toys, shouting and growling. DD1 continually wants to put her toys in DD2's highchair/jumperoo/rocker. I am sick of it. DD1 gets loads of attention from both of us (we are a same-sex couple), we have continually made the boundaries clear (toys and privileges removed; no attention for negative behaviour, lots of praise for good behaviour) and I am getting pretty tired of it. DD1 is clearly struggling, but I can't find of way to help her - she keeps telling me that I don't care for her - which I suspect is because I'm spending a bit more time with her sister now that she is 6 months old. Her behaviour in general is not very good - whining, disobedience, despite endless reinforcement. I feel like I am running out of options - my relationship with both children is suffering and I don't know what to do. I can't trust dd1 with dd2 at the moment, although I do everything I can to encourage positive interaction. DP and I are pretty united in our approach, I think.
DD1 spends 20 hours a week at nursery, finds social interactions with more than one child quite difficult, takes things to heart, is generally a bit tricky to handle...she is currently refusing to eat (dd2 was weaned onto solids about 2 weeks ago)