If you had an early talker, was toddler behaviour benefited by it?

[sedgieloo]

I'm wondering as some mention this as the reason for some of the tantrums and other challenges? Or is it more a rite of passage/testing boundaries/personality

DS was an exceptionally early talker, but also an exceptionally early tantrummer(!) He's nearly 8 now and still highly-strung.

Agree with people saying that them being able to tell you what they want doesn't necessarily mean they won't have a tantrum when they can't have it.

Yesterday at my house:

DS (21mo) 'Me apple now, okay'
Me 'Sorry DS, they're all gone'
DS 'Car, shop apple'
Me 'No DS, Mummy is cooking and please give me the car keys so they don't get lost'
DS Massive tantrum.

On the other side, I've had late talkers & whilst I think they would have stropped less if they had spoke more clearly, there were generally placid & I thought far less stroppy than many articulate toddlers I could observe.

In other words, i think temperment over-rides speech skills wrt tantrums.

At the end of the day, it's not like most tantrums are rational behaviour; many are about ridiculous & rather inconvenient demands. & that applies whether they can express themselves well or not!

I have an early talker/crawler/walker/runner/climber and he is very very hard work. He is the middle of 3, all under 5yrs and he takes all my time and energy to make sure he's engaged and kept out of trouble!

I'm another one to say that I think it is temperament rather than speech ability. My DD1 and DS were both surprisingly early talkers and all I would say is that both of their cases the terrible twos kicked off early at 18 months! Both were (and at times still are, despite now being 7 & 3) capable of the most god awful tantrums. DD2 (middle child) didn't bother to talk for ages, she allowed her older sister to interpret and talk for her and is a v placid child who I don't think has ever had a tantrum in her life.

I agree absolutely that it's temprement more than speach ability that causes tantrums.

DD was an early talker but still tantrums much.more ferociously than her friend who talked much later.

Just because she could clearly say whar she wanted didn't mean she could have whatever ridiculous demand she was making. Refusal to meet said demand(s) results in a tantrum rather than frustration about being understood.

My issue is that dd1 (2.9) doesn't know what she wants so being a good talker is irrelevant. When she is stropping she is nonsensical like her mother

I'm beginning to realise this more and more now I have a 16month old and nearly 3yr old - total opposite ends of the spectrum from no speech to very clear speech but both having horrendous tantrums due to their temperament and personality.

It was very hard not to laugh at my nearly 3yr old having a tantrum because he wanted to flush the loo, but at least we could talk about it and I could persuade him to calm down so he could go and ask nicely to flush DH's wee .

Hmmm...

I've had two early talkers - both my DD and DS have had massive vocabularies and been using short sentences by 18m, proper full sentences before 2, etc.

DD was a very chilled baby and went on to be a chilled toddler with almost no tantrumming but she is making up for it now she is nine

DS was not a chilled baby and is a pretty full on toddler. Like EBDTeacher's DS, he can articulate exactly what he wants but he still wants it all RIGHT FUCKING NOW and can throw a wobbler of ridiculous proportions if he doesn't get it.

For example, this morning...

DS (nearly 22m) 'DS want person go sitting in fire engine'
Me 'Where is the person?'
DS 'Can't reach it'
Me 'Where did the person go?'
DS 'DS throwed person sister room'
Me 'Well, throwing is silly isn't it, its gone now, I'll get it later'
DS 'WANT PERSON WANT IT MUMMY GET IT SISTER ROOM WANT PERSON FIRE ENGINE WANTITWANTITWANTIT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'

[sigh]

DC1 was an early talker (really early) and didn't tantrum - fab - but didn't listen to a word anyone said EVER. So that was fun

DC2 was pretty average, not early but by no means late. MONSTER meltdowns

DC3 - nearly 2 - pretty good speech, sentences etc. Incredibly laid back and really easy-going

I think it's personality

DD was an early talker and was very clear with her pronounciation. But even when she didn't know all the words was still good at communication.
Very few tantrums.
Could well be personality though, she is 5 now and still very communicative and empathetic, and is generally very well behaved.

Yes, I think in our case it certainly helped.

With DD1, we did baby signing and by two she was extremely fluent at communication, so whilst her personality has never been that of an easy child, she didn't have toddler tantrums.

DD2 was a later talker, but she didn't tantrum either - but I think that was not down to communication, but down to her very laid back personality.

Both my eldest ones had great speech. The eldest never tantrummed as it wasn't in his nature. The younger one was a harder baby and definitely became happier and more easy going once he could express himself. I think the younger one is particularly intelligent and frustrated. He is an absolute delight now and amazes me with his imagination.

DD1 exceptional speech - would scream until she was sick at the drop of a hat
DD2 rubbish speech - but actually quite a good comminicator - delightful child. Only had one tantrum so far and that was over not wanting to wear washable nappies.

Personality all right. No1 son slightly late speaker only ever had one tantrum, we stood and looked at him, he stopped and got up looking a bit sheepish and never bothered again. No 2 son (13 months younger) started speaking before he could sit up (first proper word "yellow"!!!) has just grown out of the terrible 2's age almost 11 - just enjoying a short break before the teenage strops kick in!!.......hopefully that will not involve banging his head on the pavement to get his own way :)

Ds was talking in full and detailed sentences by 2. Hideous tantrums but he does have aspergers. Dd spoke a bit later but was so cheery and easy as a toddler. Don't think it made any difference tbh