Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

"I don't like boys and girls" 2.9 yr old rapidly going off ALL his friends

7 replies

MrTumblesCrackWhore · 01/06/2012 14:42

My lovely, once sociable ds keeps telling me he doesn't like boys and girls...not just the ones at his nursery but images of boys and girls on tv, kids at the park and even sometimes young children who dare to be on the same stretch of street as him Confused

He has even taken to telling me he doesn't now like his friend he has known since a baby, his cousin who is the same age and other children he has always enjoyed playing with in the past. It is always kids of a reasonably similar age.

When i ask him why, he has two stock reasons - 1, they make him sad, 2, they have hit him (not true in the majority of cases, although it has happened once or twice- he is also not an angel himself, so he's in no way blameless) he's a very emotionally charged little fella - very quick to cry although usually quite quick to get over it- but not when it's his friends.

When i ask him why his friends make him sad, he says often it's because they cry ( the aforementioned cousin cried when she shared a room with him a few months back).

I think possibly the real reason is because he has massive issues with sharing. I think he equates his hatred of sharing with the child he is having to share with. He used to be a hitter but is a huge amount better these days, although the terrible crying and complaining that now accompanies playdates is nearly as horrid.

I have a friend coming round later with her son who he has previously played well with but just this afternoon he has started saying he doesn't want him to come round and crying at the thought of it. This is literally the last child he liked and now he's saying he doesn't like them is worrying me.

Anyone got any tips/experiences?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MrTumblesCrackWhore · 01/06/2012 20:09

Bump

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 01/06/2012 20:28

He is very little and at that age they generally play in the same place but alone. I would get on neutral territory - go to the park and tire then out!

redbunnyfruitcake · 01/06/2012 20:38

Ha my DD is 3 in September and says exactly the same kind of things. She plays really well with others at nursery but often comes home saying 'Joe pushed me' or 'Emily hit me' which I now know to take with a pinch of salt because she says it when I have actually been present and know that no violence has occured. She also shouts 'No children!!!' when we head into the park which I know means that she wants to go on the swings and doesn't want to share with others. It's just a phase and will pass.

MrTumblesCrackWhore · 01/06/2012 21:22

ThAnks both of you. We went to the park with said friend this afternoon but my ds spent quite a lot of the time fixated on what his 'friend' was doing and crying that he wasn't doing it exactly the same way, or seemed upset that his friend would be 'cross' if he went on the same piece of equipment. He just seems ridiculously envious of what others are doing, to the point of wanting his friend's bike to ride on, but when he got it, he cried that he couldn't ride ir ( his friend is 6 months older than him)

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 01/06/2012 22:17

It is a phase-even though you must hate that word! He is little more than a baby and this time next year he will be very different.

TheHouseOnTheCorner · 01/06/2012 22:52

Is it possible he wants a quieter life? Your life sounds very full of playdates etc which is very nice...bt not all toddler and small children like too much of a good thing.

My own DD likes all that to be kept to a minimum...we don't have more than one a month...she likes being at home, playing in her own garden and drawing as well as playing with her sister.

She does have a club once a week but she's always preferred a "quiet life".

How often is your DS being taken to play with other kids? And to groups?

MrTumblesCrackWhore · 05/06/2012 15:38

I don't think he wants a quieter life - but I do think he gets overwhelmed in situations where there are lots of children his age. He much prefers being out. He doesn't play very well in the house for extended periods of time, always wants me to play with him (and I do, a lot) but we have an 8 month baby too who requires a lot of attention too, so it is much easier being out with him, and he's a real tv monster so it's a battle getting him to do other things when I can't play with him constantly. He loves the park and two particular playgroups/soft play areas we go to, and enjoys them more usually when his friends are there. He often has a lovely time with his friends yet the next day he still says he doesn't like them

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page