I wonder if you mums could help. I've been reading through some other threads on this forum, and I can't believe what great advice is being given out. I just don't think out of the box, and end up getting as badly upset as my DD.
So, here is the issue. DD cannot make friends at school, Rainbows or anywhere she goes. She is not girly girly, and skips around holding hands. No child skips up to her at school calling her name and then giving her a hug. Quite the opposite, she comes running back out of her classroom crying, saying the kids are bullying her and telling her to go away.
This has been going on pretty much most of year 1, possibly even in reception. I have spent many nights after school in discussion with the teachers about it and they have promised to bring up the subject of 'inclusion' and 'making friends' in the course of the day\week. They have also created a mood book for her, and have spent many a break time or lunch time out of their own time, to sit with her and talk.
DD could not speak till she was 3 yrs old, not properly, as she had severe glue ear, and the doctors took long to agree that there was a speech problem and she needed help. This set her back both emotionally and mentally. She still has speech issues, and cannot pronounce words very well, and the kids pick up on that. She also has a very deep voice, not Peppa pig at all ;-) She says the children laugh at her, and her face is not cute and she is ugly. just more arrows in her heart. She is actually... a very pretty little girl, and I don't think I'm being biased.
But in other ways she is a very bright button. she is now average in her class, having come up from the very bottom. Maths and English... being her best subjects. Her hand writing is amazing.... in fact, even though she hates school and the thought of learning... she is doing ok. She would rather be back in nursery though, where she can just play and not get told off.
So that is school life. At home, DH and I have had a rough time in the marriage, and upset was\ can be rife. I did not marry till nearly 40, and I am older mum. No sooner did I have my second child - DD - than chronic fatigue and other ailments kicked in. I carried on working, but my mental health just got worse and worse. I was just surviving day to day, robotic like.
Because I couldn't meet DH's 'needs' a rift grew between us, and whilst we plod along, and all is not lost... we keep going and try. But the way we speak to each other is wrong. This year, after 11 years with my company I was made redundant. I had opportunity to take on another role, but we felt it was right for me to stop, given my health and the needs of the children. Best thing I have done in a long long time.
So, I get the kids sorted in the morning, and the stress levels have lowered considerably. I do the school run and take two little girls in too, and then their parents do the pick up. My children do not like the father, but then his children are incredibly behaved, and mine... even though I say it myself, are unruly and disobedient. The father does not tolerate my children, and his behaviour is less than favourable to them. I am sorting this now, and have agreed with my children that I will pick them up each night from the new school term. Have actually done it all this week.
I know in all I have said, it is easy to see that things have really not been easy. The other side of the coin, the nice side... is that she is dearly loved, I am very physical with her, lots of love and cuddles, and hair stroking etc. I do the 'reading' with her, and it is at this quiet time, that I have my little chats, and find out how her day has been, what she is thinking\feeling. I do my best to be positive and try to get her to think differently. Even though I have fatigue, we are actually an active family, and go on holidays abroad each year, we mix with other families, we are church goers and mix in that community. Now I am at home... I am able to pace myself and actually give them time when the both come in from school... although sometimes this does not seem to be enough. Also, dh and I, do get on much much better, and whilst rough agitated low tolerance 'talk' still goes on, there are plenty plenty times of nice times and talk.
Please could someone think out the box for me, and guide me what to do next? My mind and head is like mud and I cant think any more. I thought I knew so much, but clearly I don't.
Thanks for taking time to read, and listening. xx