'oh, she's not walking yet then'

[Sleepstarved]

grrr, am so angry and I wasn't even there.
DH has just said an old woman asked how old DD was in the butcher's today (she was standing leaning with her hands on the glass) and when he said she has just turned 15 months, she sneered and said how wobbly she was and obviously wasn't walking yet.

How dare you just pass comment on a random stranger's child? I would never dream of doing that.
Only 50 per cent of children are walking by age 14 months and up to two is considered normal range.
Imagine if she knew DD isn't even crawling properly
(she has some gross motor delay but local hosp and specialists don't have major concerns, having physio for weak core)
Is this how it is going to be until DD walks, snidey comments and tuts?
Want to rise above it but think I'd be rude back.

Why do you care? As you seem to, just spend a bit of time thinking up some witty ripostes. For example, 'She's not wobbly at all. Your eyes must need testing!' Likewise, in response to being told a child shouldn't have a dummy, you could say, 'And you shouldn't wear those judgey pants. They make you look older than you probably are!' If you are told, 'MY grandchild is much more advanced,' then just say, 'Oh he/she obviously doesn't take after you, then.'

Otherwise, just totally ignore. Who gives a fig (or anything else) what other people think?

My favourite responses for the 'shouldn't he have a hat' type comments are (1) I'll give you 50 quid if you can make him wear one, (2) that'll be 5 pounds, please... anyone who wants a say in policy has to contribute to the financial implications of said policy - fantastic for DBs, cousins, etc - and (3) I know! It's amazing he's survived this long in my care.

OP, you're going to get a lot of the type of comments that your DH fielded today... it's your choice whether or not to give them any credence or concern...

Ha! You should be in my local mother and baby group - I'm getting put under pressure about DS walking at 7 months!!

Seriously, at the last meet-up, two of the mothers had their babies standing up and one of them even took a few steps... they were both 7-8 months, like DS.

I was made to feel like there was something wrong with mine because he isn't standing / walking yet. I was thinking 'er, no, your babies are the freaks of nature here, not mine!'

I wish people would stop comparing babies. We all do it sometimes but it's really annoying. Babies all develop at their own pace.

My DH was apparently FULLY toilet trained at 7 months, but luckily MIL doesn't harp on about how I have failed to manage this with DD as she did with DSs. This is because DD has a lazy eye. Apparently. Not picked up by any of the medical profession she has ever seen, or noticed by anyone but MIL who mentions it every frigging time. Grrrrrrrr.

I walked at 18 months and I am a super active individual so really means nothing! :)

I was fuming yesterday after a stranger told me off for giving 21mo DS a fruit shoot (made worse by the fact we're just using it as a water bottle), I wonder why they think they have the right to say anything at all?!

to be fair, it is hard to shrug off comments and not make comparisons when there have been concerns.

I didn't really worry about it with dd1 and 2, despite dd2 not walking until 21 months. But it is different with ds, because there have been concerns with his development since he was 7 month old, comments about not walking, crawling, talking, lazy boys etc do tend to sting, even of they are made with no harm intended.

I know you have had concerns and tests, Sleepstarved, so it is bound to affect you. I'm so glad that there are no major concerns, and it sounds as though she is progressing really well.

Agree with hazey - it can hurt a lot when strangers comment when there are concerns. DD has physical difficulties and we've had quite a few possibly well intentioned but hurtful comments about her being 'drunk' or 'wobbly'.

It's still perfectly acceptable not to have a walking child at 15 months so don't even know why people would feel the need to comment but hey!

Glad there are no major concerns sleepstarved and that she's getting physio to help

waves to Hazey and Spring recognise you from SN board.
People just say whatever comes in their mind I suppose.
I am grateful that DD does not have any major difficulties, I know from the SN board how much harder it can be and how hurtful people can be.

my ds2 walked at 2.6 he used to bunny hop everywere ,still non verbal at 5.6 though:(

Stop comparing to the rest of your NCT group they all do it in their own time. 15/16 months is a lovely time to start walking DD1 walked at 11 months, crawled at 6, rolled over at 3 it was a nightmare! DD2 (5 months) is just trying to turn over now, collapses her legs if you try to get her to stand and loves sitting propped up playing with her toys. Its sooo much easier that way!!! My whole family are late walkers and my mum thought that DD1 was just freaky

Ignore for the sake of your sanity.

I can still remember someone sneering at DS1 that it was "so easy to over feed a baby in the mistaken belief that it was kind".

This random comment from a child free colleague was made nearly 20 years ago and still rankles!

FWTW DS1 was never over fed and is now tall and slim( polar opposite of me).

I genuinely try to live by the mantra "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". Off to polish my halo.

Enjoy your DD and pay no attention to snidey comments.

FWTW - thought it was short for " for what it is worth". Now realise it can't be.
Must have been blinded by my own halo!

my daughter is the same age, and she's not walking... and when people comment on it, i just reply how luck i am that i can still sit down and have a cup of tea while everyone else is running around after their children ;-)
everyone learns to walk eventually - whats the rush!?!?

Its a really hard stage when your child has delays and people start to notice. It gtes better - i dont know why, maybe you just gte used to it, but you just get better at it. Keep your head up.

FWIW is short for for what it's worth... FWTW could be for what that's worth perhaps?