How do you train a 4 month-old to self settle! I'm at wits end with sleepless nightss

[CravingSunshine]

DD2 has a dummy which soothes her but of course it falls out and so she cries. I always go to her as I don't want to wake up the 18mo next door but I'm getting fed up of yo-yoing out of bed which can be 5 times from 0300-0700 and I'm TIRED!. I feed her at one of those points towards 5-ish but I don't think she really needs that either as she has a big feed at 11pm too.
I've read you shouldn't really let them cry it out this young so how else do they learn to self soothe? I'd LOVE some advice as I'm having a particularly crap day today, thanks!

You sound tired

IME you don't teach them to self settle - it's a developmental stage they reach.

You can make it easier by keeping her near you at night. 4 mths is harsh as they are changing and growing rapidly. Even babies that slept 6 plus hours get more restless at that age.

How was it with dd1?

Thanks nethunsreject
With DS1, he refused his dummy after 12 weeks so we had to go a bit cold turkey on him getting off to sleep as cuddles didn't work and he was always very dramatic about bedtime. I think I did a bit of the pick-up put-down thing but can't really remember. Mad, isn't it? - it was only last year. Now he's really good and makes a weird moaning noise and strokes his upper lip with his teddy bear to soothe himself back!
I guess I'm a bit thrown with DD2 but maybe I'll just put up with it for a little longer as, I agree, she's young. I guess when she's on solids then there's no need for night feeding beyond 11pm.
Cheers for your reply!

At 4 month there is a huge growth spurt/sleep regression and so could be genuinely hungry.

A 4 month old will have such a tiny stomach still that even if they have fed at 11pm they may still need one or two or even 3 night feeds still.

How quickly does she settle after you feed her? Also starting solids is no guarantee that she'll start sleeping through the night so don't feel bad/guilty/anxious (and all those other things we parents feel) if she is still waking for feeds after she is weaned.

I agree with keeping her close to you so you don't have to keep going back & forth. Maybe she'll settle better as well if she can reach her hand out to you or see you when she wakes (of she can't already that is)

Good Luck. 4 months was the toughest age for me.

Maybe you could try to give her hungry baby formula for the night. Later on when they are older there is the so-called good night milk, which is a bit heavier formula feed.

She sounds like a strong little girl!

I think she was listening to you all! She slept 11-5 last night and I gave her a scoop at 5, then she slept till 0630 so we're getting there. Thanks for the moral support!