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Struggling with ds2 (middle child) an ds3(baby)

6 replies

Jnice · 22/05/2012 21:37

Hi there, hoping for some pearls of wisdom or maybe just an understanding nod!

My middle DS is 5. He has a strong will and is very demanding and has little patience compared to his older brother at that age. He is also a kind child and sensitive sometimes, I sense often shoulders burdens he won't talk about (has nightmares, needs to cosleep sometimes, keeps chewing / sucking things) - all of these things got worse when I was pregnant with ds3.

He adores his baby brother (really does see him as his baby). But is so 'in his face' - he doesn't listen when I ask him to give him space or be gentle. Also we have just started BLW and ds2 thinks its ok to give him food no matter how many times I say that only grown-ups can do that. I worry he will pass him something unsuitable or choking hazard.

On top of that this morning he gave ds3 a pair of scissors (toddler ones but even so). It feels like he is being deliberately disobedient and putting ds3 in danger. It was the wrong reaction but DH yelled at him, then I came over and spoke to him sternly and his face fell and he hid in his closet. I feel so sad for him but I think he has some issues going on that I can't work out.

I don't know what to do. I try to give him more one to one attention with me, plus let him be involved with ds3 but I'm honestly scared about what he might do if I turn my back.

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Flubba · 22/05/2012 22:11

Oh I don't know, but we're in a similar situation with DD2 (DC2) and DS (DC3)andcould have written this But is so 'in his face' - he doesn't listen when I ask him to give him space or be gentle myself. You have my sympathies. (I know that's not helpful to you) :(

Jnice · 22/05/2012 22:28

Thank you! How old is your dd2? Maybe someone will come along soon with some good strategies Smile

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Jnice · 23/05/2012 03:55

Bumping and hoping for some words of wisdom!

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sleeplessinsuburbia · 23/05/2012 05:35

We're in the same boat! No advice but it seems normal, have a few friends the same also.

Flubba · 23/05/2012 07:43

DD2 is 3 1/2. I think we just need to be on our toes the entire time, and give as many cuddles to the middle child as is humanly possible. Doesn't stop DD2 from figuratively suffocating her baby brother, but it does make her calmer all round.

Jnice · 23/05/2012 19:01

Thank you all! Lots of love and understanding I think is the key.

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