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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

2 year old told the Vicar to f**k off

26 replies

jamie1986 · 22/05/2012 17:32

First, allow me to apologise, I'm not technically a mum or a parent. I'm an uncle who got custody of his nephew because my sister is schizophrenic. This is a long story so bare with me... :)

I work full time and on a morning and evening I call in on my elderly grandmother who has heart failure so, as guilty as I feel about it; I have to leave my nephew with a nanny since I also work full time. I collect him at 5.30 after work and we go to gran's and do whatever needs doing and while I was there the Vicar was visiting. The Vicar asked my nephew how old he was and my nephew casually told him to fade away.

Now more sob story... I have ulcerative colitis and at a clinic I asked a nurse who told me to chastise him pretty firmly. I'm also a part time student at the Open Uni and my tutor there said I should just pretend it's just another word. Any advice on here? Do I go with the nurse or the tutor, both of whom have experience with children? (More worryingly should I assume he learned it from the nanny since I certainly haven't said it in front of him?)

Sorry for the long post and interruption of a girly forum but any advice would be really appreciated.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

cantfindamnnickname · 22/05/2012 17:35

haha - i think this is something a lot of kids do - my ds aged 3.5 was stood at school and said will somebody please open the fucking door - at the top of his voice. We dont swear so god knows where he heard it from.

I ignored it completely at the time and I did for several times, but then told him its a rude word and not to be used - he stopped after a few times of saying it.

Men are more than welcome on mumsnet - but please dont it call it a "girly forum" its rather patronising

Aboutlastnight · 22/05/2012 17:36

I would ignore himk at that age as if you draw attention to it he will continue to use it to get attention ( any attention is good in his world, even bad attention)

As he gets older you will be able to instill in him some social rules, so nearer three you may be able to start to reason with him and by the time he starts school you need to impress on him that the use of that word in inappropriate.

(Then he'll learn to read it, read it graffitied on a wall and start to nag you about what it means. like my seven year old and five year old)

usualsuspect · 22/05/2012 17:37

Girly forum?

Fuck off

Get0rfMoiLand · 22/05/2012 17:40

Oh damn usual got there first

BertieBotts · 22/05/2012 17:41

Just ignore it. If he keeps doing it then "correct" his pronunciation, although this works better for other phrases, e.g. "Oh shit" can be corrected to "Oh flip"

DS repeated swear words a couple of times at about 2, we ignored it and he seems to have forgotten them - when he's at his most angry, his absolute worst insult is "You....... NAUGHTY POO!!!" which is reassuring... (He's 3.7 now)

Timandra · 22/05/2012 17:45

Ignore it this time.

If it happens a lot choose a different, very innocent, word (my aunt chose Blackpool which had interesting repercussions at times) and tell him that you never want to hear him say it. Don't mention the F word at all. That way, if he's saying it for effect, he will probably use the innocent word and save your blushes.

I wouldn't worry about where he heard it. It could have been in a shop or while playing in a park.

bakingaddict · 22/05/2012 17:49

I dont think you should worry too much..i'm sure vicars are made of sterner stuff

My DS now 4.5 went through this phase last year of not liking loud noises and would stand constantly ask in public 'what's that bloody noise mummy'. My DH used to take him to his old CM and while there her own DS bellowed 'shut the f**cking door it's too cold. CM was obviously mortified and my DH was trying not to giggle but it can be from anywhere and anyone when they're in the phase of rapid language acquisition not necessarily the nanny or CM. I think it's best not to make an issue out of these things and let it die out naturally.

I can understand that maybe you might feel a little bit more sensitive due to the fact that he's not your biological child and that people may judge you more harshly but I think your OU tutor speaks the better sense

Ineedalife · 22/05/2012 17:53

Hilarious.

I am sorry but i think that is really funny, what did the vicar say??

You are a star for looking after him and you sound really busy and kind.

I agree with ignoring it.

Good luck

Whizkidwithacrazystreak · 23/05/2012 14:02

I'm enjoying this thread - on so many levels.

But seriously, Jamie, you sound kind hearted and caring so I'm not going to tell you to fuck off or be horrid for your girly comment! I agree with most, just ignore the language in this instance, however, if he continues I'd say something to him, but not make a huge deal over it as he could easily use it against you later just to wind you up. L

xTonixxx · 23/05/2012 14:17

Ignore it, it's a one off and gave us all a giggle

If your nephew starts using it on a regular basis then I'd sit him down and tell him it's a naughty word and not to use it. Seeing as some time has passed between the vicar incident it would be silly to bring it up as he may link that it's going to get lots of attention and use it more frequently.

xTonixxx · 23/05/2012 14:19

By the way I worked in a school up until last year and as naughty as swearing is I did find it hard not to laugh when a 6 year old said "It's all about the fucking learning with you people" when he was being told off...

Ormiriathomimus · 23/05/2012 14:24

Sorry

I'd go with the ignore option. What did the vic say?

Maamaa · 24/05/2012 16:22

Honestly, first you want us to get bare with you and then you tell us it's a girly forum! Even that isn't as hilarious as your nephew telling the vicar to eff off!
My sister once told Mom she didn't "want no fock off bake beans"! She turned out fine and we all use it as a quote in the family. One day your story will be part of your family folklore so don't worry too much! I'd be inclined to pretend it never happened and hope he doesn't do it again. Not very helpful but you sure brightened up my day!

ProcrastinateWildly · 24/05/2012 16:28

My ds somehow picked up the phrase 'fucking hell' I have absolutely no idea where from, as we do not have a nanny, and he spends most of his time with me
At first I did ignore it, but then, as someone else pointed out, he had no idea he wasn't meant to say it, so it was repeated often on a few occasions, unfortunately one was when an elderly relative was visiting, on that occasion I told him off, and he got the message.

madwomanintheattic · 24/05/2012 16:33

I babysat an almost 3yo who shouted out of the car window to three police officers on the side of the street 'all coppers are bastards!'

To be fair, her dad was a cop who used to do this to his mates if he saw them out and about when he was off shift, but I didn't know that at the time...

...and presumably neither did the uniformed chaps who got the brunt of it.

Anyways, ignore or redirect. Toddlers swearing is fairly run of the mill stuff. No need for the angst.

HoneyDragonWearingLederhosen · 24/05/2012 16:34

Well I am willing to forgive the "girly forum" comment, as you are doing a nice thing, and that title, frankly, was a gift to us all

If it happens again, apologise to the fuckee and tell the small fuck utter off immediately for being very rude and make him apologise.

Do NOT let him apologise by saying "I am fucking sorry" - this will set you back further

HoneyDragonWearingLederhosen · 24/05/2012 16:34

utterer

sayonaragirl · 24/05/2012 16:35

My 5 y.o. nephew wanted to play swords with my husband so he handed dh a stick then turned and said 'Come on. Put up your fucking stick, you bastard'. Dh didn't know what to say.

To be fair your nephew could have picked it up anywhere, TV, supermarket, play group.

I agree, just ignore it and if it continues have a word.

RedBlanket · 24/05/2012 16:42

'all coppers are bastards' that's

Op it's no big deal, there's no point telling him off now he's forgotten all about it.

PurplePidjin · 24/05/2012 16:46

Most nannies are experienced childcarers, what does s/he think?

Rollersara · 24/05/2012 16:48

Reminds me of a post on here where a nice older lady asked a toddler what time he'd got up for a trip to Eurodisney and got the answer, "Middle of fucking night"!

Unlurked · 24/05/2012 16:51

I have no advice but that's hilarious! I also love 'put up your fucking stick'. Remind me again why we frown upon children swearing?

My DD once took off her pants and threw them at an estate agent's head.

ReallyTired · 24/05/2012 16:59

Kids are genetically programmed to embrass their parents/ carers/ uncles. Please don't worry, if the vicer is half a christian then he/she will forgive.

I think that ignoring bad language is the best approach. Like your OU tutor said pretending its a different word models better language. Your nephew is very little and he has been through a lot.

I am sure that his language will improve with having such a lovely uncle looking after him.

3duracellbunnies · 24/05/2012 16:59

If it is something he just occassionally says then I would ignore (but save it up incase you get an imput to his best man speech!). If he says it a lot you need to work out where it is coming from. Could it have come from your sister? My ds tells everyone at the moment that they are a 'mump' in the most derogatory tone. Have no idea where it came from, but hoping he'll grow out of it soon.

olibeansmummy · 26/05/2012 08:17

You sound like a lovely uncle, who is doing a fab job :) just ignore him, telling him off will get you nowhere and upset him. At a similar age ds picked up 'fucks sake' and I must admit it was all my fault ( road rage ) which eventually became 'sake' so no one knew what he was really saying!

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