So how do you avoid making a fuss about food fussyness when THEY make an almighty fuss?

[WizzyBizzy]

DS, 2.5 has suddenly become a fussy eater having been great up until a couple of months ago. I've always said I would avoid food battles and have been quite good at generally ignoring any non-eating. I know he's not going to starve, so I just take the food away and move on. However, he has now starting very very vocally refusing to eat most things, including tonnes of stuff he's loved to eat up until now. We get shouting at the top of his voice 'I don't want this', 'I don't like that' etc etc, at practically every meal. Any ideas how to respond to this? Apart from anything else it is dreadful table manners!!! TIA.

just ignore it! praise him when he doesnt make a fuss, sit and have dinner together, make conversation about anything but what he is or isnt eating and as you say just take it away at the end of dinner time.

oh and realy bad behaviour, shouting and tantrums mean they sit at the bottom of the stairs until they are going to sit at the table nicely :)

My response would be "Ok, don't eat it then" over and over again until he realises he's not getting a reaction.

If he keeps shouting and making a fuss just keep asking if he would like to get down. Give him a warning like "Please eat nicely or you will have to get down."

If he carries on don't allow him to stay at the table. Joining in a meal should be a privilege earned by good behaviour at the table. Just get him down and carry on eating your own meal. If he wants to get back up and eat politely he should be welcomed back and only be allowed to stay up while he is behaving appropriately.

It might be hard work for a few days but you've done the groundwork but not reacting to him refusing to eat. Once he gets the message that this doesn't get him control or attention things should improve a lot and stay like that.

My DD2 is 9 and a dreadful eater. It's been very hard to remain unmoved by years of her refusing to eat but I watched a friend so desperate to see her son eat that she would praise him for scoffing a bag of sweets(!) and I vowed this would never happen to me.

If she starts making a fuss my first words are to ask her if she would like to get down and if she carries on I remind her that she may not sit at the table with us while behaving like that.

It's hard because deep down I want her to stay up and eat because she eats very little and often doesn't eat her lunch at all at school because of anxiety but I know I have hide it. If she's chosen to get down from an evening meal without eating much I make sure she has a drink of milk before bed to stop her getting hungry in the night and to make myself feel better.

I agree with both of the posts above. Don't make a fuss, your child might make extra fuss to start with but when they see there is no reaction and no other option they'll stop.

Ok. Thanks. Will try it. I'm trying to teach him to sit up at the table while we all eat together, even if he doesn't want to eat what we have though, so not sure about allowing him to get down from the table. Hm. Will give it a go.

To be honest I wouldn't bother trying to teach him to sit at the table when he's not eating. You're just handing him control on a plate and creating a battle-ground that you don't need.

You'd be better to work on getting him to behave appropriately while he is eating and then let him go and entertain himself while the rest of you finish. As he gets older you can work on extending the time he stays up because his understanding of politeness and ability to sit still and wait will improve.

Just concentrating on getting him to sit for short period while he eats and behave well during that time will make mealtimes relaxed, pleasant occasions for all concerned and give him a behaviour target that he can meet easily and feel positive and successful about.