13 months old regression of some kind? Or another clingy phase...

[OliveandJim]

Just looking for some comfort please... DS is 13 months and a half and has been breast fed since ever, we're also co-sleeping (I never managed to get him to use his cotbed). He's going to a childminder 4 to 5 times a week as I had to go back to work full time (didn't get part time) a few months ago. He loves the childminder and the kids there and seems genuinely happy to be there through out the week. I managed to stop breast feeding him regularly a few weeks ago, where he would only be nursed for comfort (once every 2 or 3 days) but recently he has wanted to be nursed all the time again, seems to have regressed somehow and also wants to lay on top of me at night when he was happy falling asleep next to me on his own before.
I'm fed up with the nursing and I was hoping the trajectory would be towards more independence from where we were a few weeks ago not a jump back in the wrong direction. I had the day off work yesterday and DS basically spent it on the breast (arghhh). I have so little time with him that on the days where I have the chance to look after him I don't want to fight a battle at every step so give in (perhaps too easily)....
We're moving house in 2 weeks time so the timing seems wrong for refusing him, as I might have to resort to comfort nursing once we're in the new house (dont want to give contradicting feedback week on week but want to be consistent). As I'm a first time mum just wondering if I'm doing it all wrong and whether I should expect/demand a bit more growing up from my baby? or shall I go with the flow and keep repeating to myself that this too shall pass?

Yes, it'll be the 55 week developmental leap, which causes the 13 month sleep regression. You can read about it at www.thewonderweeks.com (look in the section about mental development).

It's really normal to have periods of 'regression' every so often - often related to developmental leaps.

IMO only nursing for comfort every 2 or 3 days is pretty good going at that age - DS would do so multiple times a day.

Thanks Angel! But how do mums who stopped nursing or don't nurse at all deal with those periods of regression? Is it not possible to stop nursing and still provide the love and care they need during these types of developmental leaps?

Yes, I think you have to provide the love & care in a different way. IMO many children need nursing and their needs can't necessarily be met to the same extent in other ways, although you can make a pretty good job of it. Some children when they stop nursing become more demanding and difficult.

Certainly when my DS cut down the number/length of feeds (because I got pg), or when he's been on nursing strikes, his behaviour has really noticeably deteriorated.

But I do think children are adaptable, and find it easier to adapt as they get older. My DS bf's more of less on request at 2.4 years, and he will now accept alternative methods of comfort e.g. cuddles from me or from DH, which he wouldn't have done a year ago.

I think sleep is a funny issue - IME some children have periods when they just can't sleep except by bf'ing. During developmental leaps, my DS would only feed to sleep, then once the leap was over, he'd once again be able to fall asleep in the pushchair or car or be rocked to sleep. I think non-bf'ing mothers of 'difficult' sleepers probably have to live with a higher level of crying at points if their child is like that. Certainly many children who would wake early and stay awake if not bf'ing end up becoming early risers once they stop nursing.