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9yr old Lying

3 replies

zarney · 21/05/2012 15:26

I know its normal that children fib my DS is 9 and tells small lies, mostly to do with questions like have you done xyz, being lazy putting his stuff away etc.. He recetly lied about something that really made his DD very angry, he had a new bike and he promised to put it away in the shed and lock it every night, this he was doing and before it got dark I usually ask him have you rememberd to lock your bike away, yes is his reply. This time he said yes to both questions from his DD and in the morning he saw it in the garden, he has been grounded and he is not allowed to watch any cartoons or go on the computer or play with any of his toys, he has spoken to him and he knows why, 2 days after this when doing his homework where he had to look in a dictionary he was asked about the word and had he looked it up yes he said then admited he had not.
I know when I was his age I would fib same sort of thing really, but I think his punishment is too harsh its been about 3 weeks since he got found out, DD does not agree says he needs to learn and he has not learnt from previous fib punishments.
What do other parents do ?

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rockinhippy · 22/05/2012 10:55

I'm a bit confused - DD ?? is Darling Daughter in MN speak??

but I THINK I get the gist, that being that he is lying, & it's causing problems & he's not learning from punishments - I'm with "DD" - this needs nipping in the bud PDQ & coming down hard on him is the only way to get that message across to him - you need to back "DD" for your DS sake, its important that you show a united front for anything to work

good luck

zarney · 22/05/2012 13:58

DD sorry meant to be Dear Dad should it be DH ? I do back his dad and I do not discuss what I think he should and should not be doing in front of DS he does come to me to ask me to ask his dad if he can have x or y back and I tell him to ask himself. Just makes me feel really mean not letting him play with his stuff though, but saying that he has been doing more "imaginative things" like making stuff out of boxes and wanting to do cooking with me and even wants to ride our horse which he rarely does as it means work to get him ready etc. and he would rather just do the fun things like anyone I guess.

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rockinhippy · 22/05/2012 14:08

Yes, DH :) that makes more sense now

I'm laughing here, my DD is also 9 & this is very much her style of behaviour over sanctions at the moment - commonly known as playing us off against each other :) - from friends with older DCs we had thankfully already been warned & boy were they rightShock

& yes, I agree its easy to feel "mean" if they are asking YOU & it's the other thats dished out the sanction - if its any consolation, you are lucky your DH does get involved in that way, mine is to big a wuss & leaves it all to me - so its always me who is seen as "meany" around here Hmm - though now she's hitting the stroppy back chatting stage, she respects me far more than she does her Dad, so I can see the benefits in my being the "mean" one

try & stick to your guns & just enjoy the positives of your DS doing more interesting things & know that your DS is gaining all round, & probably you too, if he's anything like my DD :)

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