Rudeness and defiance in 5.11 year old DS

[nappyaddict]

He is extremely defiant. We have major problems in a morning with him literally running around the coffee table to avoid having to eat breakfast. He ignores me or runs off cos he doesn't want to get dressed or put his shoes on even if it's somewhere he likes going such as Grandma's house.

If he's talking to me and DP answers he will say "I'm talking to mummy, not you" and vice versa.

He deliberately does things that he knows will wind DP up especially. He will hold his hand back and pretend he is going to smack me, look at DP and say "I'm going to smack mummy" DP has scars all the way down his leg that are really sensitive to touch and DS will hold his hand really close to DP's leg as if he is going to touch it even though he has no intention of doing it.

He bounces on the sofa, fidgets at the kitchen table, is constantly standing up and sitting down. He looks at DP and goes to eat with his fingers cos he knows DP doesn't like it and will tell him to use his fork. It makes for very stressful meal times.

I'm sure there's more but my mind's coming to a blank now. I will add to this if I think of anything else.

My ds who is 5.9 months can be very similar in his beaviour. Every morning he plays up at getting dressed, brushing teeth, shoes on etc he has started parroting what I say, rolls his eyes and can be quite aggressive at times. My Ds doesn't know how to sit still at meal times and loves nothing more than rolling off t top of the sofa.

I think a lot of his behaviour is due to his age and that he has started school this year.

I do have a no nonsense policy do for example if I have to ak him to sit still twice st dinner table I will then send out of the room to sit on his own for 5 mins until he can be sensible this mostly works.

In the mornings lay out his clothes tell him what is expected and give him a couple of chances to get dressed and then send to time out usually with a lot of shouting on his part that I am a horrible little woman etc

We have recently started a star reward chart for doiping specific tasks such as getting dressed without a fuss. He hasn't got many stars yet but I am plugging away with it and hoping it will work.

I get very stressed too