Great eater but won't eat lunch at school (wants to play)

[Wiggy29]

My son is a marvelous eater and eats everything except: mushrooms, onions and olives. He eats well at all meals at home but the issue is that he eats very little of his packed lunch at school. When asked, he admits that he ants to play out.

Nearly a year has passed and very little has changed. So far I've tried:

1. Letting him do shopping with me to pick items for lunch
2. Help me make the lunch
3. Vary the lunch every day
4. Give him very similar lunch of fav foods
5. Telling him off
6. Taking away other treats
7. Making him eat all left lunch before dinner when he gets in
8. Praising him heaps when he does eat
9. Ignoring his eating habits

The school are aware but their view is that they can't monitor one child when 200 are eating lunch. They have tried to help by doing a sticker chart (this didn't work as they gave him it regardless of whether he ate it or not) and random monitoring of him (all they discovered was that he was sneaking it in bin but as they don't monitor daily we don't know when he's eaten it/ thrown it away).

He is seven, healthy and slim and this issue only began in September when his class began mixing in the yard with the 'big children' and he openly admits he'd rather not eat/ face punishment and have longer to play out.

I fee like I'm at the end of my tether and don't know where to go next. Should I just ignore problem as he eats well rest of the time and ignore the fact that he's not eating between 8-5:30? Or is there some obvious solution that I'm missing? Should the school be responsible for monitoring this (they just state it's not their responsibility). We both work full time so taking him home for lunch is not an option.

Any tips at all would be great as we're all out of idea.

Anybody?

I wouldn't worry

If he's healthy

They have fruit snacks at school

You pick him up at 3pm right? He can eat on the way home

It's not that long of a gap

I used to take in 1 digestive biscuit and a drink for lunch.
I hated eating pack lunches, but it was made worse by dinner ladies complaining if you didn't finish stuff, so dm discovered if I felt I could eat it all, I ate it, if I didn't think I could finish it then I ate almost nothing.

I remember the panic I'd feel if she put a pork pie (treat at home) in the lunch and I could hardly touch it.

I didn't/don't like breakfast much either, so I'd often eat very little until I came home.

Once I was a secondary school and they had a proper canteen with a choice of meals I was happy to eat, I ate fine.

It is very common at this age (& older). Dunno how you can do any more than you already have. I ended up bringing DS home for lunches, not least because he was losing his temper & getting into fights due to lack of food .

I would just completely ignore it. Put what you want in his lunch box in the morning and clear it out at night. I wouldn't even mention it.

I don't think it's the school's responsibility either.

We had talked about him going onto school diners but I was worried as we won't know if he leaves anything& also he has no issue with lunch when it's school holidays. I think we'll have to give them a try& if no joy there just ignore the problem as I really don't know what else to do. I just worry as ragged said that not eating may affect behaviour/ concentration.

Jubilee- would you ignore it because you don't feel it's an issue? We did try ignoring it& he just doesn't eat it. I just feel like he should be having something as during school holidays he eats as much as me for lunch!

Thank you for all your replies.

Would you consider putting him on school dinners?

If he has to sit through two courses before he's allowed out to play he might eat some more? Especially if he's with his friends?

Yes, I would ignore it because I don't think it's an issue. If the teachers complain about his behaviour or concentration then you can re think. As you say, he may be better with school dinners as you won't know what he's eaten and you won't feel you have to worry about it.

Ds3 has school dinners tue-fri and a packed lunch (his choice) on mon. He often eats his packed lunch at after school club! I don't know if he eats his school dinner but he seems to get on fine.

Ds's 1&2 are teenagers now and when I think of all the things I worried about for all those years (and I was v. Pfb) I realise I wasted a lot of time needlessly. I have decided only to worry about life threatening situations Ds3 is a very chilled child!

My DS is just like this. He has food of his choice and will eat a bit of it but playing is far too tempting so he never eats it all. He's 9 now and has always been like it and I've stopped worrying. I give him stuff with carbohydrates for a breaktime snack to make up for lack of lunch and he usually eats that. He always has a snack after school too.

He eats like a horse a home

I could have written your OP

Ds (9) is exactly like this and we have tried all yr options as well.

We had a talk about it yesterday and he's agreed to have school dinners 3 days a week on the days they have dinners he likes.

He is also a good eater at home . Breakfasts are a bit painful at times though He has bacon and toast a lot. But he doesn't drink milk either.

I would chill out about it unless his behaviour or work is suffering at school. Does it really matter?

Have you chatted to him about how he feels in the afternoon after not eating much lunch- eg, can he concentrate, does he have energy etc. If you can get him on board with the gains in mind could it help? Sounds a bit simple eh, but you never know?

my ds ate his whole lunch today
he asked to make it himself this am
i allowed him to put crisps in which we never normally have
he said he ate his veg at snack time and the rest at lunch

we had the stern talking to on friday so i'm not expecting it to last tbh
but he's agreed to have school dinners on thursday

Ds is 5 he eats nothing / very little at school. I don't care, he won't starve in 6 hours.

My ds is the same. He gets a sandwich babybel frubes and juice and an apple. He is v fussy. But usually the drink cheese and frubes is gone buy the rest remains. He too would rather play. Not worried but he then eats biscuits at dm house and at times dinner time is a tad fraught.

DS2 is the same but he is very thin and very tall! So I know he's growing but just upwards.

He'd rather play football. The only thing I've found he'll actually eat are fridge raiders. Not something I'd normally feed him but at least he's getting some protein during the day. He'll eat an apple and maybe a cereal bar too? I used to go to the trouble of doing pita meat with salad and he'd nibble it. It's just such a waste. Sometimes I put pizza in if it's a really nice one as he'll eat that too.

If I were you I'd try things you know he can eat quickly and really likes. They may not be that nutritious but if they give him some energy it's better than nothing at all. Also I'd make breakfast a big deal. DS2 knows he can't get away without eating it.

At least your ds is a healthy weight that's a good sign.

Oh yes ds2 eats frubes too.

I think they don't get enough time to play and that's the problem. If this is your main time to be outside and play when you are a young child then of course you want to do this and not waste time eating your lunch .
My DS has banned crisps as "they take too long", and often leaves some stuff that I thought would be top banana -ie the unhealthy biscuits etc- unopened in favour of going out to play. He does eat his sandwiches though- or he has got good at disposing of them (hope not!!)

I have one of these, DS (9). He just wants to get outside. We buy the food together - lots of little healthy snacks, quick and easy to eat. We bake biscuits together on a Sunday and they go in. He still doesn't eat much. He has an issue with yoghurts, tuna and a few other things.

What has helped is a TA checking his packed lunch before he goes out. If he's eaten enough he gets a house point.