Help needed with 3 year olds behaviour

[littlemissnormal]

Hi,

I currently have a 5 year old DD, nearly 4 year old DS and am 41 weeks pregnant with DS2.

My DS has suddenly started behaving in the most appalling ways which I am having trouble knowing how to deal with correctly.

Over the past 3 weeks he has had major tantrums over small issues such as his sister getting out of the bath before him. The tantrums last up to 40 minutes and involve him pulling his own hair, screaming and crying, kicking and throwing anything near to him and me. Being heavily pregnant I am having trouble restraining or carrying him and so have been leaving him where he is until he tires himself out, however I have had to have help on occasion when this has happened at my mums house and I needed to get him into the car.

Today though he decided to completely act up at a friend of mines house where he has never been before. He ran straight up her stairs into her DDs room and started throwing toys around, then came back down and was jumping on her sofa. He wouldn't listen to me, and it took her shouting at him to calm him down and get him into my car. I was mortified as this behaviour is no way accepted at home or usually carried out.

I am assuming that there are issues with him adjusting to the thought of having a new brother and I am making efforts to spend time with him, assure him I love him etc but I just don't know the right way to handle this behaviour anymore. Do I ignore it, punish, or just hope it stops? For what it's worth, when he's at nursery or with my mum or sister then his behaviour is fine. Just me!

It's obviously jealousy. Bless him. He is feeling that Mummy is having another little boy now and won't love him as much/have time for him. You must try and cut him some slack and keep reinforcing how much you love him but don't give up on putting him on the naughty step completely because he will think that he can walk all over you and not face the consequences.

He is seeking attention from you in any which way he can. Four is a very challenging age anyway. Take a look at this link. You might get some use from some of it. Good luck.
www.ahaparenting.com/ask-the-doctor-1/preschooler-jealous-of-baby-developing-attitude

www.ahaparenting.com/ask-the-doctor-1/preschooler-jealous-of-baby-developing-attitude

Thank you, that's a really interesting and useful article. Going to put into practise!

My DD will be 4 in August, at the moment her behaviour is definitely more challenging than say a couple of months ago. I have a 10 month old so I suppose there could be an element of jealously but I think it's more a developmental stage... she's becoming so much more independent, wants to learn to read and write so it's like her emotions can't keep up with her brain IYKWIM!

I study Psychology, I've read positive reinforcement yealds better results than punishment... sometimes it's hard to summon the patience and energy though!

Have a cup of tea and biscuits on me!

It's just so bloody difficult isn't it!! I just want to make sure that he doesn't feel neglected but knows that his behaviour is unacceptable. So I'd rather understand the best way of dealing with it rather than making it worse.

Thank you, it's helpful to know he's not the only one.