Should i stop my 20 month old playing in play centres?

[Amymumof2]

I have just joined today after reading other peoples experiances. my DD is very spirited, a laugh a minute, confidient, loud, just a big personality. But when with other children is slightly over bearing - she is 20 months now and has recently had a little Brother (11weeks).
we have finally passed (fingers crossed) a biting stage she went through when i was pregnant. i always get down to her level, time out etc for her naughtly behaviour. she does push/shove to get her own way, we are experiancing alot of "mine" & "no" at the moment. she looks quiet old for 20 months and has brilliant speach.

sorry to ramble, anyway today we went to our local play centre with friends and there children, My dd was playing nice, i did notice a little boy grab a book from her and i instantly jumped up as i knew she would not take that and would grab at him to get it back, the boys mother came over to and i told my DD to say sorry for grabbing and they should take turns and share. she said sorry and repeated about sharing.

I let my DD go off and play and dont tend to hang round her as she was playing nice and i was feeding her brother, she comes back every 10mins and usually within eyesight except when at the top of the play to come down the slides.
Next thing a pregnant lady stares at me and shouts its her f*ing little sht of a child, i instantly jump up pass my son to my friend and run round the play centre where i ask a lady looking up if its my daughter there talking about and she says yes she is alittle shit! i just ignored and rushed to get her. my dd was at the bottom of the slide, where the pregnannt lady comes over screaming saying she is a little shit and i should keep her away from her and her son implying she would give her a smack?? i asked what she had done and she was just screaming saying shes a f*king little shit and had shoved her son and pulled him . i apologised instantly and was about to ask ava and make her apologise when she brought up the earlier incident (nothing to do with her) and she continued to scream and imply i should leave??? she did say my dd had nipped her son earlier, i replied calmly that she shoudl of come and told me as i have been checking her and everytime she had been playing nicely.

i was shaking, i did stay for lunch as she left, and i didnt shout at my dd as i didnt actually see her do anything? i just explained again about taking turns and not pushing a shoving.

i have come home burst into tears and wonder whether she is just too young for these situations, she has turned such a corner with biting etc that i dont want her to go backwards? i have honestly never been as embarresed in my whole life. i am however proud of myself for handling the situation calmly. i know mothers are protective, equally i am but i cant believe someone would belittle/ humiliate a person like that.

sorry for the long post. any suggestions regarding disapline and whether to avoid these situations greatly received.

The other mothers sounds delightful and I would ignore her.

Don't let her bother you, keep on with the playing nice message your doing with your dd and go places she likes. Maybe move with her so tho your not hovering your in eyeline of her.

Ignore the other mother.

You cannot (unless you are with them constantly!) police them all the time.

They have to learn, and if I was the other mother IYSWIM I would have spoken (nicely!) to you earlier if I was as concerned as this mother seems to have been; not ranted at a second issue!

Still, takes all sorts

I would have calmly asked her to stop swearing in front of the children first.

But don't stay away from there, that mother sounds a right donut and probably embarrassed herself more. Most parents understand that small children havent learned to play nicely at that age and it should not be a big deal. Maybe if she was seven and had punched a kid in the face but a one year old pulling another child... She needs to get a grip!

Should you stop taking your DD to soft play centres, hell yeah, because it would keep her away from nutty mothers like the ones you encountered today! You kept an eye on your daughter, ready to intervene if you saw any behaviour to cause you concern, but you didn't see any. Any mother with common sense whose child had been nipped or pulled by another child would move their child away and keep the situation calm or you risk making it into a big issue for their child. The mothers you encountered today didn't do that and it looks like they escalated the issue between them. No one should be referring to a small child as a little sh*t . This is their issue as to how they deal with other mothers, not your daughter's.

To be honest at 20 months I would have wanted my DD within sight. I agree that the other woman was out of order but you weren't there to represent your DD. I know that the baby needs to eat when he needs to eat but if you can't be there to support and help your DD then I would avoid play places for a little while until your DS is old enough to go an hour or so between feeds and you can spend more time with your DD. It must have been horrible for her to have this woman screaming at her (or even near her) - very upsetting and she probably didn't really understand what she'd done. She may seem independent but she needs your support in social situations.

thank you for all your replys, it has definatly made me feel alot better (as i was a blubbering wreck before when she went to bed (hormones!), i think you are right maybe she is too young to be in these situations, she just enjoys the climbing and slides so much that i let her do it. i think we will have a break from these situations and start up again when he brother is a little bigger and can come and join in with us more or go with her on the slides etc if grandma can have my DS.
thank you again