3 month old can't get to sleep

[BethyVicky]

Appreciate any help anyone can give, because I'm losing my mind if I haven't already. We've spoken to every family member, spoken to every doctor, nurse and midwife and tried everything they've suggested but nothing has helped to date.

We have a 3 month old that simply can't or wont go to sleep (once asleep we've got him doing 7-8 hours with usually no more than one wake up) but getting him to sleep is hell. We've perceviering with a "routine" of bath then feed and relax into sleep in a dark quiet room, but when you put him down he starts to grizzle. On advice we "leave the and go make a cup of tea, and if he's still upset then..." etc. but a) there's never a problem (nappy clean, no gas, child full of milk) and b) by this time the screaming has started. And I don't mean crying I mean full screaming. And this goes on for hours, we're into our third hour tonight and it's getting worse not better every night. We're both physically and mentally drained, our neighbours don't talk to us any more and worse of all it can't be doing he baby any good.

As above, appreciate any suggestions.

Have you tried using white noise to calm him? Either a phone app, or hairdryer/hoover etc. We have used it for my DS since he was little, and it still works now (he's 14 months). Also singing a familiar song might soothe him. Hope it helps, good luck :)

He doesn't want to be left - don't leave him. Stay with him until he goes to sleep - cuddle, rock, sing, feed to sleep (are you bfing?) whatever it takes. Ignore everyone who says you'll set up bad habits for the future - you won't. Your baby is being very sensible and knows he needs you to be able to go to sleep. Listen to him.

I rocked and cuddled my DD to sleep every night for 13 months. Then one night I stopped and she self settled no problem, every night since. Rods for backs don't exist at 3 months, only survival techniques.

My first child now 3 self settled easily from 8 weeks and sleep all night it was bliss and i was secretley very smug about how 'well' i had done to get her to do this!. Fast forward 3 years and we now have ds aged 8 months who still can't manage to settle himself to sleep. He needs rocking/ cuddling to sleep both for naps and at bedtime ( and often several times in the night) so this is what i do. I am forever hearing 'rod for your own back' advice but choose to ignore it. He still seems so little to be left to cry alone. I do hope that one day soon he will learn to settle himself but until thhen he will now mummy is close to hand if he needs her. All babies are different and your little one is still very young. It will get better

I second what the other posters have been saying. My 3-month-old will not self-settle and would wail the house down if put down 'cold'. So I buff her to sleep. It works a treat and everyone is happier. I think that self-settling something that some babies need to learn and ours appears to be learning gradually Touch wood. For example, she is beginning to signs of self-settling when she has been rocked to an almost sleep state and she fell asleep by herself when lying in bed for a cuddle with her dad today. Things that would not have happened a month ago. Good luck!

Applauds Octaviapink.

Please go and pick up your baby now.

Hold him close to your heart.

He will like it. He will sleep. You will no longer be mentally and physically drained. Your neighbours will start speaking to you again.