School in 3 months and DS is getting LESS independent - help!!

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DS1 is starting in Reception in September and I'm beginning to get a bit panicky about his independence and practical skills. It's a bit of a combination of not-great fine motor skills (no major problems, but he finds things a bit fiddly) and a complete lack of desire to do things for himself. He seems to manage ok at pre-school (though I suspect they help him with things quite a bit), but he hates doing things for himself at home (eg he takes himself to the loo with no problem at pre-school, but always insists on me wiping his bottom at home). He makes no attempt to get himself dressed in the mornings (though he always undresses himself before his bath), and is hopeless with zips, buttons etc. He's pretty bad with cutlery as well (always uses his fingers unless I nag constantly, and can't manage a knife at all), and I haven't even tackled getting food out of pots and lunchboxes yet.

I think all he needs is practice, but the problem is getting him to practice! Whenever I try to persuade him to do things for himself, he gets upset - and this seems to be getting worse rather than better. Using the whole 'being a big boy' argument cuts no ice with him - I think he'd quite like to stay dependent on mummy for ever and ever. And I don't want to convey my worries about how he'll cope at school, because I don't want him to think of it as a horrible place where nobody will help him and he has to do everything himself.

Any tips for increasing his independence before September would be VERY much appreciated!!!

Lunches - practice havng picnic lunches with him in the summer with his big boy lunch biox, so he can practice opening boxes and peeling fruit and opening yoghurts etc. make it fun! Get him to help choose his lunch box and drink bottle.

Clothes - have a race getting dressed in the mornings to encourage him to be speedy with zips and buttons - this is one of the major requirements for starting reception! Getting dressed and undressed for PE, playtime, going to the loo, etc.

What about toys like hama beads - does he like those? - you can get car/fire engine/typical 'boy' shaped boards as well as the usual shapes - they're fab for fine motor skills and my ds loved them as a 4yo.

A couple of months can make a huge difference.
I was worried my DD was not going to be sufficiently potty trained to start nursery at the school, but she pulled it together in the nick of time!
Do you have much choice about clothes for him at school? Is it a uniform? Bear in mind how easy some items are to put on and off.

My DD is in Reception and she cannot manage buttons very easily, so I try and get things with zips or pull ons which she can do herself. She is only just now getting herself dressed in the mornings.
I think school staff will help with packaging and lunches - a friend of mine is a dinner lady and spends most of her time opening yogurts and drinks!

Really good tips, thanks.The last couple of days we've done getting dressed races in the mornings, which have worked really well. Still no zips and buttons, because we don't really have clothes for him with fastenings! But I'll find something to practice on. I'll get his lunch box sooner rather than later, so we can have some picnics with that too.

Try some carpet picnics with tupperware at home so he gets used to it and putting the rubbish back in box.
Clothes, choose carefully what shoes etc he has and get him to practice clothes at home. Can unbutton and unzip your tops on himself which will be fun. School shirts are really tricky and buttons are stiff when new so second hand is a good idea. Have uniform laid out each evening so he can make a start on the bits he can do in the mornings.
He will soon pick up these skills when he sees the others in class doing them and the teachers/TA's are used to encouraging little ones.
You do need to get him wiping his own bottom though - sticker chart?

Thing is, candr, I know he can do some of this stuff perfectly well (eg wiping own bottom, putting on shoes) because he does it perfectly well at preschool. I think maybe there's just an issue with him at home - he still wants to be mummy's little boy. Perhaps because he has a little brother now (who's desperate to be able to put his own shoes on ). We do need to practice lunch boxes and zips/buttons, though, as I really haven't given him the opportunity to do them. Great tip re second hand clothes - I like tips that save me money .