Jealousy in a toddler help!

[weddingwoes]

there is a new baby in the family. the jealousy was of a normal level at first e.g. crying when I held her.
last week he was sat next to her, she was crying and he slapped her on the head we all gave him a stern telling off took him straight home and gave him another talking to inthe car. when in the car he said 'I hurt the baby? in a questioning tone and said 'didn't mean to sorry? I was so angry and embarassed and sad for the poor little thing,

Anybody been in this situation? how do you deal with this?

How old is your toddler? We used to do timeouts for violence and DD soon grew out of walloping DS on the head/ poking his eyes/ trying to sit on him etc. Don't go overboard though - generally it's a momentary loss of control and you have to fit the severity of your reaction to the circumstances. For example if it's naptime or foodtime when they're a bit edgy and fractious anyway it becomes doubly tough for them to control themselves.

Teach him to stroke her head gently if she's upset - her crying may have been upsetting him and he just wanted it to STOP (I'm sure we can all sympathise...) so teaching him why babies cry and how to comfort her will help him by giving him the tools he needs to understand.

2.5

yeah I was aware he was getting cranky which is why I left rather than leave him to get worse, maybe it wasnt the right reaction though.

I'm worried he will be labelled as a really awful kid now, I could try that next time we see them. I'm currently pg I'd be nowhere near as precious for DC2 just remove the eldest but I felt like there was an expectation to really come down hard.

Ah, I didn't get that it wasn't your own baby. Yes, that is embarrassing, but I'm sure they won't label him - everyone knows toddlers have a tough time with babies. I think leaving was the right thing to do if he was getting cranky anyway (toddlers have to work so hard to control themselves in social situations, it's really exhausting for them) - next time you see them you can talk about it in advance and perhaps he could practise with a doll. Presumably he knows he's getting a sibling - it'll be good training.

I dunno how much he takes in we have said theres a baby in mummies tummy and it will be a new bro/sis.

yeah I hope its just a phase.