i think that's what i mean.
if i describe the problem maybe someone will know if that's what i mean.
he is 6 (almost 7). when playing one to one with friends he is happy and seems to be an equal in the games. when others join in he becomes a target for mocking. i witnessed the other day his 'friend' hitting him after being instructed to do so by another boy who had joined them to play. he had previously been playing happily with this friend and he calls to play with him everyday but a few other children usually join and i have become a bit obsessed with watching them play as i have noticed my ds being pushed around, kicked, taunted for wearing glasses, being called 'gay' (thanks very much he now thinks that's an insult!) the boys that join have this game were they separate into two 'gangs' and fight each other. except my ds is always made to be in the gang with the very small children who dont really join in, so essentially he is in a gang on his own and the other ones have to fight him. i have told ds to come into the house immediatley if this game is started. and i am always keeping an eye out on him.
we are moving very soon (a few weeks) and whilst i initally thought it was just that these children weren't very nice where we live my friend who works in our local youth centre has said she has noticed similar behaviour with ds when he has been in with his school she says he would stand back in a group and watch the games being played but not put himself forward to play. now he loves school and has different groups of friends of both boys and girls. 2 close friends that come here on play dates. and his teacher hasn't mentioned anything strange about his interactions. she says he is an out going child. but he very rarely tells me what he does at school. tells me it is rubbish and that no-one plays with him. at first i thought this was just him being a typical child but now i'm thinking is it true. does he not play with anyone during the break times. he always seems happy coming out of school and is chatting and laughing with friends. but i am worried. mostly about what i have witnessed. him just letting himself be hit and just standing there taking it. and when they exclude him from games he just stands on the sidelines and watches them play.
i was bullied at school and it is my worst fear for him during his school life. it is so hard to regain confidence and accept that you aren't a victim who just has to accept that people will be mean to you. i dont wnat him to think he is a victim. i want him to be happy and have friends and be assertive enough to walk away when someone starts trying to pick on him.
he goes to scouts and football once a week and is very happy at both.