good ways to deal with small toddler's frustration?

[everybodysang]

My DD is nearly 16.5 months old and is generally a happy little thing. She's just getting over a really nasty cold and I think this has thrown her quite a bit (lots of night waking, not being able to nap properly or having a very long nap). She's got all her teeth except the back molars, and I think it's possible that there might be a bit of back molar action that we can't see as she is chomping down a lot recently.
But mostly I think she is just struggling with toddler frustration. She's screaming at the tiniest thing and can't seem to communicate what she wants at all - or even when she does get what she wants, she doesn't want it!
We did baby signing classes when she was smaller but we've let it go - I do have the DVD so I think we might start putting that on and seeing if a bit of signing helps.
I (and DP, who is main carer in the day) are trying to get down on her level, ask her to point to what she wants, validate her feelings of frustration etc.
Could do with some more coping techniques/ideas, though (particularly as I have to take her on a plane later in the week, only an hour, but still...poor other passengers...)
All ideas most welcome!

It does sound as though she is rather going through it at the moment. Hopefully she will have caught up on some sleep before you travel.

The only distraction technique we found worked with small child at that age, and still does several months later, is to ask them questions - first for random animal sounds (what sound does the sheep / cow / dog / cat etc make?) and then for questions that have a yes / no answer - did you have milk with breakfast? / is the sun yellow? etc., as soon as a frustration starts to emerge.

Also, speaking a word you know she can say / sound and asking her to repeat can break out of the frustration mould too.

For the plane - definitely bring a soother for take-off / landing. Also, things she can nibble on and a couple of 'bedtime' books. A window seat can also be beneficial. If she does wriggle from the seat to the floor, don't stress - just let her sit between your legs.
Despite any number of the threads on here - your fellow travellers can be both nice and understanding regarding small children. The last flight we were on the 60-something chap behind us played peek-a-boo for half an hour!

Hope you find something that works, and the teeth come through soon.

thank you - that's a kind reply! We have flown and done longish train journeys quite a few times now and generally found that people have been pretty lovely, just a bit worried as she is soooo shrieky right now.

Great suggestions - I will try them, the questions sound like they might work a treat.

Sometimes children can be overwhelmed by having too many choices and too much control. It can make life quite stressful for themBH they don't always know themselves what they want. It might help if you try to limit her choices and make some of the decisions for her. Give her the choices she seems to find easier to make herself and if you think one is coming up which she'll waver over and end up tantruming then make it for her in a very calm and positive way.

E.g. if she freaks out over choosing biscuits present her with a plate with one already on so she doesn't see the box.

Agree about choices. They can only really choose between two things and keep speech simple - one or two words. Don't worry too much about validating - you can do that in simple words but don't go on
Pointing is always good, pick her up and see if she can get closer to what she wants and point to it. Dont correct her speech, just say it how it should be. Eg "yes that's a biscuit".
And start signing. It was brilliant for us and ds. We used it until he started talking properly at 20-24 months. He could tell us about chickens he wanted to see, if he wanted more food, if he was hungry etc etc. didn't affect his speech - its quite advanced for his age now! (he's 2.6)

Let us know how it goes!

do you know, we've tried everything that has been suggested here and she's better already. Very tired, so we think she's still getting over her illness, but already this has all helped, so thank you thank you thank you!

Just the plane journey and 5 days at my parents house to cope with now...

oh, and to survive the parental visit!