My newborn can not be put down!

[DialMforMummy]

Hi all,
I am sorry I'll have to be quick but will try to be as clear as possible. DS2 born 4 days ago after gruelling emcs can not be put down. he hates being in the moses basket or in the bouncer. He seems to be happy only lying on the top of someone on his tummy. The problem is that I have DS1 (20 mo) who needs attention so I can't have DS2 glued on me all the time IYWIM. A sling is out because of the cs.
I am trying to give him short periods in the basket or in the chair, but feel I am not getting anywhere. Is going to pass? Any advice/experience gratefully received.

We had one of these. It does get better but gradually we found, not overnight.

Bummer about the sling, can you get dp to wear him as soon as he's fed? It was our lifesaver. We used to take it in turns have him on top of us and then he could be put down when a little older.

Co-sleeping so you feed to sleep and then roll away (make sure there are no covers, pillows near him and any gaps against the wall are blocked up with towels).

I would suggest you need to rope in some family or friends to help with ds1 tbh. 4 days after c-section you need to take it easy. You cannot be hoiking your toddler around as well. Is there anyone who can help?
ds2 is only 4 days away from hearing your heartbeat every moment - of course he wants to be held. He will start to grow away from you but right now he's very, very young and needs to be held. It's a tough but brief phase.

I know how you feel! My DS cried if put down during the day for his first six weeks (emcs too - cord twice round the neck, very blue, in SCBU overnight in head box, etc.). Luckily he was my first so I held him all day for six weeks (except when on loo!). I still remember the first day I peed without him crying - he was six weeks old. He then turned into the happiest, most contented baby anyone could wish for. So yes, it does pass, and the more comfort you can give him now by holding him the sooner it will pass and the happier he will be later. I agree with Northernlurker - try to get some help with DS1 to ease the immediate problem. Good luck!

We had this with ds and dd1. It does pass and your cs wound will feel much better in a wk or so. Ive had 3 cs and used a sling after all. Even after cs you can carry your baby. If its a bit tender pad the sling out a bit.
Also get ds to feel useful, helping fetch nappies etc. He'll feel less left out.
Dont worry 2 much. You might have less time for ds1 but you've given him the gift of a brother

If you have to put the baby down put him then try lying him on a top/nightie you have worn in bed the previous night. Your smell my help comfort him. I use this to help settle in new childminding babies and it often works well.

TBH it is very early days and I think you should be shouting a bit of an SOS and getting your family to look after you and the children. Don't push yourself to try and manage too much.

You need to rest, your baby needs to be on you and your LO needs affection. Those should be your only responsibilities just now so call on family and friends if you can and hand over responsibility for everything else to them. Give yourself permission to stop coping and ask everyone to help if that's what it takes.

You will find little trick to help give you a few minutes here and there and those times well get longer just as they did with your older child. It's very early days so try to just snuggle up on the sofa all together eating whatever is easiest and watching loads of tv.

I've just helped a friend get a sling comfy for post-CS use. She's using a stretchy wrap tied high and also a ring sling without problems. It's really worth trying to get a local person who knows about slings to come and help you.

I echo the sling suggestion - I had a CS and had no problem using a stretchy wrap with DD straight after the birth. She also didn't want to be put down!

Can you swaddle him? Also it's pretty standard for newborns - you really forget just how intense it is

Your other half needs to step in - either deals with toddler while you sit and look after baby or takes baby for a bit. You cant "teach" a newborn to not need you. Get help, as much as you can.

Thank you all. It looks like we are getting there with swaddling with anything that smells of me.
Luckily DS1 is at nursery for a while so I have a few weeks to sort myself out and for the scar to heal. I have no family nearby, friends are all at work or busy with their own DC and DH is unable to take pat leave until next week.
So plan for today is snuggle on sofa with DS with kip and junk TV.