Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Original poster

Feeling thrown by flurry of changes in DD (2.1) this last week...

20 replies

Elibean · 15/02/2006 21:18

We've had three firsts since Sunday...feeling a bit wobbly and could do with a reality check.
On Sunday, DD didn't go to sleep at naptime, but chattered away to herself for ages. Not unusual. Then she called me quite insistently, so I went to check on her...and she proudly announced 'all alone, nappy OFF!' which was true, grobag as well, and then 'uh oh, poo...' also true . She started using a duvet that night, instead of her grobag - she loves it.
Then last night, she had a nightmare (about a lion?!) and woke up very distressed. Another first.
Today, she asked to pee in the potty for the first time (she's played with one for ages, but said 'no' firmly whenever asked if she wants to try it for real) and did. Great excitement all round, and she was thrilled to get to use her own tissues, wipe herself, carry the pot to the loo, and pull the chain. I felt like my child had flown to the moon, and we both beamed for an hour.
Tonight, she threw a huge (30 minutes plus) tantrum and refused to come to the dinner table, demanding a 'picnic' in front of the tv....denied! We sat and ate while she cried for 30 minutes in the sitting room. Its not the first time she's been a bit stroppy about coming to table recently, but the worst we've had yet is five minutes of crying: this went on until bathtime, at which point she came for a hug, hysterically asking for 'picnic picnic' so I just said its bath time, and carried her upstairs sobbing. After a cuddle and a warm bath, she was fine - and ate her supper at table, followed by usual milk and video.
Now the thing is, I'm sort of moody and unsure of myself this week...fertility treatment, family crises...and DD is really moody too...we've both had big colds...and I'm thinking, is she picking up on my moods? Or is this normal developmental two year old stuff?!? And most of all, is there something I should realize, do or see about the mix of developmental leaps and intense moodiness on DD's part?
Sorry for the lengthy post; I feel brain dead, exhausted and confused - not my best mothering state - help, thoughts welcome!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
redstarfalling · 15/02/2006 21:25

Sounds pretty normal to me my DD is 2.4 and has also taken massive developmental leaps over the last 6 months.These have been physically, mentally i.e.imagination and dreams and emotional and picking up on family tensions etc. We've stopped worrying ! HTH

Original poster
Elibean · 15/02/2006 21:27

It does, thanks Redstar

OP posts:
JiminyCricket · 15/02/2006 21:30

Actually this sounds just like my dd 2.4 at the mo - loads of waking at night, possibly with nightmares (she has just potty trained, and though she wears a nappy at night, I think that weeing in it at night might be confusing her or upsetting her a bit) Hugest tantrums, needing loads of cuddles and reassurance, suddenly wanting her blanky much more.

redstarfalling · 15/02/2006 21:33

Another thing is indeed the night waking. Increased suddenly and frequently. I wrote on another thread recently that my HV said its really common at 18mo to 2-2.5 years as they have such massive brain development and so much to compute during sleep that dreams and disturbed sleep is the way it manifests itself - sounds reasonable but i havent found much written about this to support it, still, it makes me feel better !

Feistybird · 15/02/2006 21:36

Agree with the others - life with a 2yo is a complete rollercoaster, unpredictable highs and lows.

FrannyandZooey · 15/02/2006 21:55

Elibean, I find life with a 2 year old is frustating, wonderful, confusing and constantly surprising. I think when you have been very hands on with your child, and feel that you know them inside out, and can usually meet all their needs / divert crises before they get underway, dealing with a 2 year old can be disspiriting and challenging. You feel like you must be doing something wrong, why are they not always the stable and contented little person you have cared for any more?

I think being 2 is very hard at times, and that we do them a disservice if we try to smooth over every crack as we did when they were little. They are growing big enough to tackle some of life's lumps and bumps in their own way. We need to back off a little but still give unconditional love when it is needed - not easy, well not for me anyway.

I think what your tired and emotional state at present has knocked your confidence and is causing you to question your ability, NOT that it has caused this behaviour in your daughter. It all sounds highly normal to me and even if she is being affected by your moods, that is all part of normal family life, and learning how to cope with emotions.

Sorry to hear about your crises and illness. Hope you can look after yourself a bit and get some rest.

Original poster
Elibean · 15/02/2006 22:31

Thank you, one and all - just the reassurance I needed from fellow Mums-of-two-year-olds. And I didn't know that, about night wakings...very useful info.
FrannyandZooey, you put it so well - and I agree with every word. Having you lot to turn to helps with the backing-off-with-compassion bit, otherwise I'm sure I'd just dissolve into terminal neurosis
Now to bed, perchance not to be woken up by toddler dreaming about lions...

OP posts:
Original poster
Elibean · 15/02/2006 22:35

JiminyCricket, DD's tantrum finally melted tonight when we went upstairs and she saw her 'Cat' (like Blanky). Poor little loves, its so intense being two!

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 16/02/2006 08:04

LOL Eli, ds dreams about lions too, and various other wild animals. The best was when he woke up saying "I don't like that crocodile nibbling me!"

Your dd sounds lovely, but maddening - a bit like most other 2 year olds I know

Enid · 16/02/2006 08:27

Ah sweet.

Mine were like this at about 3 (late developers!).

I always found that a period of change like this heralded a big leap in what they could do for themselves - eg your dd going on the potty. Change is scary for them even though they are programmed to do it!

It is sooooooooooo annoying I know but try to remain calm and set boundaries if you can, it IS just a phase and it WILL pass.

Original poster
Elibean · 16/02/2006 10:10

Enid - I've heard its either the 'twos' or the 'threes' so I'm hoping next year will be a breeze Thanks for the reassurance, I'm feeling a lot more centered today thanks to the feedback here - 'loving and boundaried' here I come, hmm.
Franny, crocodiles nibbling...scary, but sweet: bit like two year olds, eh?!
Thanks again, both.

OP posts:
Original poster
Elibean · 16/02/2006 13:31

OMG, she's peed in the potty twice again today - talk about sudden change (wouldn't sit on it a week ago). No wonder she's kicking off about small daily transitions (going to table/bed/out) seeing as she's making such huge ones too. All makes sense now

OP posts:
JiminyCricket · 16/02/2006 13:38

My dd is developing an elaborate fantasy (which scares her to death) about a scary bear hiding under her duvet and nipping her toes - we're trying to turn it into a friendly bear. Yes EB we love blankys and thumbs in our house, here's wishing a good day to all mums of toddlers x

Enid · 16/02/2006 16:55

lol

'loving and boundaried'

should aspire to that I suppose

well done your dd she sounds very bright!

motherinferior · 16/02/2006 16:59

I agree that being two is terribly difficult.

Original poster
Elibean · 16/02/2006 20:09

Mind you, being 45 isn't always crash hot either

OP posts:
Original poster
Elibean · 16/02/2006 20:10

Enid, I'll aspire if you will. Please, please don't succeed too well though or I'll feel inadequate again.
Bright, hmm, that must be it....

OP posts:
Original poster
Elibean · 16/02/2006 20:11

OMG, I have a tic

OP posts:
redstarfalling · 16/02/2006 20:31

Elibean thought I might cheer you up with my daughters escapades last night. Fell out of bed for first time apparently because " the doggie was eating her face" Am now worried about her brain development !! Mind you its going to get worse this weekend we have been asked to have the empathy doll fron nursesry as DD has asked if he will stay with her ( she's the only one thats not had him to stay!)It's a cabbage patch doll looking thing that has a name, Joshua, a family, mum, dad and sometimes Gran drop him off or pick him up ( conveniently before or after the kids arrive )and does everythinh the children do. Hmmmmmmmmmm. We get a disposable camera to capture the visit too. Dh is having a fit ! He doesn't want any snot,pee etc covered " it's a doll ffs" in the house. Oh what joy these two year olds give us. So you think you've got something to worry about.........................................!

Original poster
Elibean · 16/02/2006 21:26

Poor dd! Doggy eating my face would make me fall out of bed for sure. Sounds like her brain is right on target, Redstar!
Enjoy your weekend guest - maybe 'Joshua' could start his visit with a welcome cuddle from Dad, to test his 'empathy'

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page